Page 35 of Reclaiming Love

Chapter 20

She got into the elevator, her spirits lifted and her attention consumed by the recent sighting of Noah. As the doors slid shut, Matt scrambled through, and his excited-to-see-her face held her captive.

“Welcome back.” He slipped his hands so familiarly around her waist as she heard the doors close. Too familiar, she thought, especially since they’d barely spoken over Christmas.

He moved in for a kiss and pecked her on the lips. “I’ve missed you.”

A heavy weight descended in her stomach, painful and slow, pulling her spirits down along with it. She scarcely had time to catch her breath, to put her sweet thoughts safely away.

Both his hands clasped possessively around her, stuck to her body like glue. She stood with her arms bent awkwardly at the elbows, holding a coffee cup in one hand and the calorie-laden muffin in the other.

She wriggled out of his grasp. “I’m going to spill this,” she warned him, moving away.

Judging from the scribbled notebook in his hand and the slight whiff of body odor that hit her, he appeared to have been here a while. It wasn’t the start of his day.

Had he even taken any time off? Had he spent time with loved ones?

“We didn’t get to say ‘bye’ properly before you left.” He was unusually calm, given that she had pretty much run like hell that last day to avoid bumping into him.

“We did say bye—Nadine was there, remember?” she reminded him, even though she knew he was right.

“I’ve still got your Christmas present,” he said flatly.

She remained silent. She had his. Somewhere. But had no intention of swapping presents with him anymore.

“How come you didn’t get in touch much over the holidays? I sent you a couple of texts.”

“I thought I told you not to send me those pictures anymore.” And he would never be able to take any more of her again. He shrugged in answer. Though they both knew his anger had drawn out over the whole of the Christmas break. Luckily, it had suited her just fine.

“How have you been?” she asked, more to fill the void than anything else when he cast a disapproving eye over her muffin.

“I’ve missed you.” His gaze penetrated deeper, as if he was trying to figure out her aloofness. She couldn’t say it. Couldn’t tell him she missed him back because she hadn’t.

He leaned back against the elevator wall, observing her carefully as he took a pen out from behind his ear and fiddled with it. She knew he sensed that all was not right. Not wanting to lie, she changed the subject. “Have you been here the whole time?”

“What’s wrong?” he asked, straightening up and ignoring her question completely.

She couldn’t deal with it first thing in the morning. “First day back blues. You know how it is.”

The elevator stopped at the floor before hers and he paused, looked her way. “I’ll come by once I’m done with a few calls,” he said.

“Sure.”

Sometime after, she sat at her desk, doodling away on the jotter pad in front of her. It was quiet all around and empty; people would stagger their return to the office and it would be a few days yet, probably after New Year’s, that it would be at full capacity again.

Perfect. Because it gave her plenty of thinking time, daydreaming time, decision-making time.

She knew what she needed to do. Now she had to summon up the strength to do it.

Was it happenstance that the guy she had run into first thing in the morning was the same guy who had occupied her thoughts the entire time she had been at her parents? Had she unconsciously sought him out each morning?

It both frightened and excited her. Because even though she sometimes felt that she hardly knew him, there were many times when she thought she knew him too well.

Seeing him this morning felt like a sign: out with the old. And that included Matt. No starker contrast had there been than to have him plaster his sloppy kiss on her when taking her completely by surprise.

In with the new. Did that mean Noah? She shifted in her chair, shook her head; she barely knew him. He was still, to all intents and purposes, a stranger, even though they’d shared a few heartrending glances, a knowing smile here and there, veiled words, stolen moments.

Today she felt sure he was about to ask her something—just as it always seemed to her that he was about to ask her something. Or maybe she had high hopes that he would.

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