Page 79 of A Taste of Chardonnay

I stepped toward him, resting my hand on his broad shoulder. Thick muscle rippled beneath my touch. “Let me try.”

He shook his head but wouldn’t look at me. “I don’t want you to.”

I sidestepped his back and stood in front of him, laser focusing on him. I needed him to hear me. Needed him to see the truth in my gaze. “I know you expect me to storm off and hate you again, but that’s not going to happen. We’re past that now, so whether or not you like it, I’m helping.”

He glared, but I wouldn’t break. It was a battle of wills, and I refused to lose.

I inhaled, anger turning into frustration, into something I couldn’t identify, or maybe just didn’t want to. Char’s warm brown eyes didn’t waver. I took in her sheer beauty, the warmth that she radiated. She was fighting for me when I wasn’t worth fighting for. A wet trail soaked into my beard, and I swatted the fucking tear away. What was this? I didn’t cry. With everything I’d been through in my life, I prided myself on holding my shit together. On being an iron shield against emotion, but I guess there were only so many hits a shield could take before it cracked.

Her hand wrapped around mine, tugging it away from my face. “Let them fall.”

The air was cool, but her hand was freezing. I rubbed her arm, goosebumps appearing across her chest. “You’re cold.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Come on.” I took her hand, guiding her away from the house and to my detached garage. Ron would be fine in the house alone for a little while. He wasn’t a fucking toddler. He still had some sense left in that muddled brain of his, and since he started taking his pills again, he’d been better.

Once inside, I hit the light and the electric heater. I grabbed a down coat I kept in here and wrapped it around Chardonnay’s shoulders. I bent, lining up the zipper and pulling it snug against her chin.

“I’m not used to you putting clothes on me.”

“You were cold.”

Her eyes locked on mine, so familiar. They once used to ignite a heated rage inside me, but now it was just a comforting warmth.

“You’ve always looked out for me.”

Even when I hated her, I did. “You never needed me to, though. You’ve always been able to hold your own.”

She straightened, confidence surrounding her like an impenetrable dome. “Exactly, but if you think I can’t handle your dad, then you don’t know me at all.”

I rested my forehead against hers. “I know you can.” She was more than capable. Hell, she’d probably put the old man in his place over and over again, but it had nothing to do with her. “I just don’t want you to.”

“Why?” she demanded, voice strong with no waver.

I stepped away from her, the frustration from this week consuming me, spreading like a disease that had no cure. “Because that man doesn’t deserve grace from you. He was a bastard when I was younger, said horrible things about you. The day I cut ties with him...” Anger rose inside of me, trying to overtake the frustration. Trying to turn me into the man I spent my life swearing I would never be. But I wasn’t him. No matter how angry I got. No matter how impossible life felt. I wasn’t him, and I never would be. But the frustration, the anger, the shame, and all those emotions that had been bottled up for so long, I didn’t want to keep it inside me. It was poison, and I needed to release it. It all stemmed from that day in high school. I inhaled, my chest heaving with the weight of it.

Chardonnay waited patiently, her warm eyes searching my face. She wanted me to let her in, and I wanted to let her in. I did, but that door had been locked for what felt like an eternity.

“Tell me,” she said, no plead, no demand, just a statement.

“He made a comment about you spreading your legs for me. I snapped. I never fought back before, but the way he spoke about you. It crossed a line.”

Realization dawned in her eyes, widening them. Her pretty lips parted. “I’m the reason——”

“No.” I stopped her before she could blame herself. She wasn’t the reason for any of it. “You were my saving grace that day.”

“But that was the day you heard me…”

A smile cracked my lips. “It was a shitty day.”

“My God. I am so sorry.” She took my face in her hands. Tears welled in her dark brown eyes, and I hated to see it. Chardonnay was too strong to cry for me. I wanted to wipe them away, along with any pain I caused her. “You needed me that day, and instead, you lost me.”

Maybe I was too weak to keep fighting, to continue keeping people at arms length, or maybe Chardonnay kicked down my walls, and I didn’t want her to leave. I turned my head, kissing her palm, unable to resist the urge.

“I found you now, and that’s all that fucking matters.”

Her thumb rubbed softly against my face. A stark contrast to the rough stubble along my jaw. I closed my eyes, relishing in the warmth her touch brought, the comfort, the feeling that no matter how bad shit got, it would be okay.

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