Page 216 of The Dark Mirror

Arcturus searched my face.

‘Yeah.’ I looked away. ‘I know.’

‘Jaxon orchestrated our separation,’ he said. ‘You have suffered a great deal because of him, Paige.’

‘So have you. I feel sick to my stomach even contemplating it, especially given what Terebell thought of him. But … there are reasons I’m considering the idea.’

He waited.

‘Nick is my mollisher,’ I said, ‘but he won’t want to be Underlord. He likes to be the fixer, not the head that wears the crown. He also needs to work out here until January. As we’ve seen, my other mollisher is even less interested in ruling. Neither of them asked for this.’

‘Jaxon mistreated you for years,’ Arcturus said, his voice low. ‘He collaborated with Nashira.’

‘Heisclinging on to some absurd notion that Nashira will change her mind about voyants, but the syndicate is his purpose. I don’t believe he would intentionally endanger it. He’s wanted the Rose Crown since he was a child, and part of me thinks I should just let him wear it. That way, he won’t be a thorn in my side for the rest of my life. I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder for ever, expecting him to usurp me, because one day, he will succeed. We already know I can’t kill him, so I have to live with his existence.’

‘You do not have to give him the Rose Crown.’

‘I’m not. I would still be Underqueen,’ I said, ‘but Jaxon would rule with me. He would bring coin to the table, and the full endorsement of the Council of Kassandra, which includes President Sala. I don’t think we have the luxury of turning down that kind of support.’

‘They wish for him to be Underlord, even after the memories you showed them?’

‘Yes, because Jaxon Hall knows how to keep people eating out of the palm of his hand, even if it’s poison. But Terebell is gone because we were outgunned and outnumbered,’ I said quietly. ‘In the end, beggars can’t be choosers, and we are the underdogs of this war.’

Arcturus seemed to consider.

‘Could you rule beside him?’ he finally asked.

‘With support. I was his right hand before,’ I reminded him. ‘Couldyoustand to work with Jaxon?’

‘If you wished for this alliance, then I would do all I could to facilitate it, for your sake. We could introduce checks on his power to satisfy the Ranthen. But if this is the wrong choice, it may cost us a great deal, Paige.’

‘I don’t see another way that secures us enough money to make our side a real threat.’

We were silent for a while. I rested my head against his arm, suddenly exhausted.

‘I don’t want to go to Canada,’ I said. ‘I don’t belong out here.’

‘You do. You were born in the world beyond Scion.’ He laid a hand on my knee. ‘You took the Rose Crown to spur the syndicate into action, but it is not in your nature to wait in the wings. We must stop Vindemiatrix before her network grows too powerful. Killing the root will take a long time, so we must cut off the stems, wherever they grow.’

‘Then you think I should go?’

‘Only you can decide.’

‘Not helpful.’ I sighed. ‘I’ll talk to the others tomorrow.’

‘As you wish. For now, you ought to sleep,’ he said. ‘No decision can be made without rest, Underqueen.’

He stayed with me while I ruminated, thinking my head sore. Even when he fell asleep, I lay awake at his side for a long time. I pictured the sixth card in my reading, Eight of Swords. A woman surrounded by blades, unable to move in any direction without slicing herself.

There was no right and easy choice to be made here.

By morning, I had still not come to a decision. Leaving Arcturus to rest, I went for a walk around the city, my breath clouding in the crisp autumn chill.

If I went back to Scion right away, I would never come back out to see Nadine. I was making one return journey into the free world. If I was going to hit Grapevine, it had to be now.

But I would be so far away from Arcturus.

He had lost Terebell. He had been tortured for months. I wanted to be there for him, as he had been for me. But he was right about the importance of stopping Vindemiatrix Sargas in her tracks, and no matter what happened, no matter the cost, our revolution still came first.

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