Page 158 of The Dark Mirror

A stubborn little voice told me I should be using this respite to train. In my head, I went over the arsenal of techniques I had learned.

I didn’t know exactly what I could do against Cade. I wasn’t an unreadable, so my dreamscape could be breached. All I could do was try to drive his spirit out before he did the same to me.

Arcturus had been able to help me; now I had to step up to the plate and help myself. Except I didn’t quite know how. If I was practising with a gun, I could use a dummy or a bullseye. Fordreamwalking, I needed a living target. I couldn’t subject Arcturus to it. After what Cade had done to him, I doubted he would ever want me in his mind again.

In that moment, something drew my attention to the æther. His dreamscape felt heavy – wrong, somehow. It took no time to realise it reminded me of Capri.

Not a minute later, I was in his room. The shutters were closed against the sun, but I could see him in the stripes of daylight, lying in the gloom.

‘Arcturus,’ I said. ‘Have you still not fed?’

‘Orvieto is too small for discretion.’

‘Oh, catch yourself on. You’ve always managed.’ I went to him. ‘Enough with the excuses. Why are you doing this?’

‘I am not swift enough any longer. I would be noticed.’

At least he had finally admitted it. When he turned away, I sat on the bed at his side.

‘Then you have to use mine,’ I said firmly. ‘You have no choice now.’

‘I am weary, Paige.’ His voice was hardly there. ‘I am weary of existing at others’ expense.’

My stomach tightened.

‘Don’t talk like that,’ I said. ‘Arcturus, look at me.’

He didn’t. At last, I threw caution to the wind and touched him for the first time since Capri.

For days, I had tried not to do this, even as my instincts told me to draw him close. Now I gripped his chin, forcing him to look at me. Only a hairline of light encircled his pupils.

‘You said you were always at my command,’ I said. ‘I’m ordering you, as Underqueen.’

Terebell would never have let him sink this low. She had only left him with me for a few days, and I was on the brink of losing him a second time.

‘Please,’ I said, softer. ‘I can feel you freezing. Don’t make me see you like that again.’

Arcturus returned my gaze.

At any other time, I would have braced for the familiar discomfort of a Reph using me to bridge. Instead, I willed him to keepgoing. I willed it with everything I had. I had invited him to share my connection to the æther, and I wanted him to accept. Our auras were fusing.

His eyes blew into open flames. I almost tensed as I remembered the torture chamber, but I knew he would stop if I did, and I needed him to save himself. So I held on to him.

My skin prickled. An unexpected sense of calm descended on me. I felt drowsy, and my brow fell against his. His upper arm, which had been painfully tight, now slackened. I felt the warmth of his sarx through his sleeve. When I looked up, his eyes were bright red.

Our auras separated. The trance broke, and I let go of him, covered with goosebumps.

‘You are a damned fool,’ I said, ‘for not doing that before we got to Rome. I was there. I offered.’

‘Paige.’

‘No, you listen to me, Arcturus Mesarthim. I risked this entire country to get you off Capri. The least you can do is keep fighting for your own life.’ I turned away from him. ‘I’m going for a walk.’

He made no attempt to stop me leaving. I was halfway down the street before I realised.

My eyes weren’t bleeding.

And it hadn’t hurt.

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