Page 39 of Dragon in Boots

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

After a long day of caring for her animals, working side by side with her volunteers, Jac dressed for work at the club. Yes, work. Not that she needed the money now, but she wanted an excuse to see Dash and thank him. Maybe grovel a little, too, after the show.

Then she’d kick the crap out of him!

Larry was gone, and while she understood that everything living had to eat, did he have to chow down on her poor, three-legged friend? Larry had endured such a rough life. It felt wrong for him to go out like that, even if a teeny tiny part of her knew Larry was in a better place now, galloping across the plains of Africa. Free. Munching on tender treetops to his heart’s delight.

She sighed and slid into her truck, heading for the Pink Pit of Pleasure, completely unsure what the night would hold. All she knew was that her prayers had been answered by the unlikeliest of men. Dragons. Whichever. And that the animal world was much bigger than she could’ve imagined.

Cimil put on her hot pink wig and black cowboy hat, giving herself a twirl in front of the full-length mirror in her office.

“How do you like the unitard, Minky?” It was made of shiny pink spandex with fringe down the seams.

“Garble, garble.”

“I know. Festive, right? I have to present the appropriate vibe for our big night!” Every remaining female dragon around the globe would be arriving after their stopover in Honolulu. It was a long flight, and when they got here, they’d be hungry.Not just for food!

“Let’s just hope our he-dragon takes one look at all those rosy red cooters and biology kicks in. We need to juice him like a tomato on National Spaghetti Day.”

“Garble, garble.”

“Have I ever let you down, Minksters?” Cimil scoffed.

“Garble.”

“Whoa, whoa. You can’t blame me for that. Roberto didn’t have to take you prisoner to get me to date him. I could’ve been persuaded with just a few thousand human sacrifices. Or cheesy baked goods.” She sighed. “No one ever said Egyptian pharaohs were imaginative.” Her husband, Roberto, might’ve been ancient and the ex-vampire king, but ever since the blast, he’d lost his way.

There’d been a time when he’d loved killing and chaos as much as she did. But the accidental mating between Minky and Mittens the hellhound had wiped out more than just Roberto’s vampire blood, leaving him mortal.

Over the past year or so, he’d gone all soft and squishy, reading the Pioneer Woman’s blog and making wholesome snacks for her once half-vampire children. Overnight, they’d turned into the typical American human family who strived for a better world.

Blech! Boring!

That was why she’d sent Damien Greystone to the jungle to find Maxton, the only vampire to miraculously survive the blast intact. And now that Maxton had turned MF, the two would soon feel a sense of isolation, just as Cimil did.

I’m the only god who wants to god.Anyhoodles, not before long, Maxton and MF would hear the call to procreate and sire more vampires.

The same would happen for Bonbon and Gorgonzolina.Can’t have too many love-sucking demons!They helped drain positive energy from the masses.

Then there were the degenerates, like sex fairies and ghosts, who simply wore people down with their uncontrollable supernatural thirsts. One for debauchery, the other for revenge.

Over the next twelve months, the world would be bursting at the seams with the darkest, most malevolent creatures the universe had to offer. Even Bigfoot was planning a family!

And the gods will be back in action, doing what gods do! Watching humans suffer. And then saving them and being worshipped, like the old days.Cimil was just happy no one had caught on to her plan.

“We are so close, Minky. So close. Just a few thousand gallons of dragon guac, and all will be right in the world again!”

Jac arrived at the club to find people already lined up outside, waiting to get in.

Taped to the doors was a poster of Dash wearing just his boots. A black rectangle with the word “censored” covered his manly parts, and at the top of the poster were the words “Full nudity! One night only!”

Jac gasped and covered her mouth. Was he really going to bare all? A tingle shot through her core and spiked down to her lady bits.I’ll finally get to see what he’s packing.

Then it hit her. Everyone else would get to see him, too, and she kind of hated the idea. Now that she knew the truth about what he was and why he’d chosen to never father offspring, she saw him as more than just a cranky jerk or a piece of meat. Dash was a complicated, ancient, and principled man.Or dragon. Whatever.

She’d be cranky, too, if everyone was pressuring her to mate. It was no one’s business. Least of all a goddess’s.

Jac shook her head.I still can’t believe that crazy woman is a supernatural superpower.Though, it sort of made sense. The world was crazy because it was ruled by crazies.

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