Page 50 of The Imaginary Friend's Obsession

“Ezra,” I say. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he says, looking away. There’s a hard set to his jaw that I’ve never seen before, and the tremble in his lower lip betrays him. I realize with a shock that he’s crying. “You were right. Everything you said before. I’m just…a coward, through and through.”

I stand frozen in shock.I said that?I had almost forgotten about the way I blacked out before I ended up in the cell with Dorian. I assumed I was acting like myself still, begging Ezra until he brought me to the MRF, but…

“I didn’t mean that,” I say, the excuse weak even to my own ears. “I wouldn’t even be here without you.”

“It’s not enough.” He covers his face, shoulders shaking. “I don’t know if it’ll ever be enough. I thought I could change things at the MRF if I did this right, but… Now I’ve failed Dorian like I’ve failed so many times before.” He sucks in a shaky breath and lowers his hand, looking at me through reddened eyes. “Did you…get the answer you needed, at least?”

I stare at him—lost, helpless, defeated. I don’t know what to say—how can I admit to him that we’ve been wrong this whole time? That Dorian is a killer and he will never be released as we hoped? So I say nothing.

He looks away. “Right,” he murmurs.

“So it’s over?” I ask, my voice quavering.

“You heard Dr. Wright. Maybe I can bring you in again, eventually. But…” He shrugs, looking lost.

Despair weighs on me. I know that won’t happen. Even if I do get approved as a consultant again, it will mean no more secret late-night sessions, no more sneaking around with the cameras off. Being honest with Dr. Wright about the nature of our activities would involve both of us telling the MRF the truth about our powers, which would be an enormous risk. Even if Dr. Wright is sympathetic enough not to lock us up on the spot, we can’t trust that it will be the same for all the higher-ups. But… “What about Dorian?” I ask. “We can’t just leave him.”

Ezra stares down at the steering wheel. “I’ll continue to look after him as best as I can. Like I did before.”

“But…” I shake my head, unable to form words. “But before, he was on the verge of disappearing. It’s going to happen again, isn’t it? Without me? You said it yourself. I’m his anchor to reality. Without me, it’ll just go back to the way it was. Or worse.”

“I’m sure I can arrange some visits,” he says. “Like I said, I’ll do the best I can, but…”

I stare at him. After all of this, he thinks I’ll accept going back to the occasional visit? Probably through the glass again? No. I won’t accept that. “You told me we were working toward freeing him,” I say, frustration welling up in my tone.

“We were. But now that the MRF is aware of what we’re doing, they’ll… He…” Ezra throws out his hands in a helpless gesture. “We still don’t know if it’s safe to set him free, Daisy. I saw his hands around your neck. That conversation didn’t go the way you hoped, did it?”

My lower lip trembles. I try to form an argument, but I’m not sure what to say. He’s right: Dorian attacked us both. He confessed to the murders. I still believe we’re missing something, but the evidence is stacking up against my old friend.

I don’t even have my own memories to rely on.

Frustrated tears come to my eyes, and I blink them away. “So you’re giving up on him.”

Ezra’s expression cracks. “No. Never. I’ll see what I can do for him. But if he’s going to be trapped forever, maybe it’s kinder to let him pass on, Daisy.”

I nod. But in my heart, I’m already steeling myself. I’ve lost Ezra, and I’ve lost Dorian, and any hope of the MRF’s help.

I’m in this alone. Maybe I always have been.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Isit in the driver’s seat of my car, gripping the steering wheel as I try to figure out what to do. The house is the last place I want to be right now, with the knowledge that something unseen is lurking in the shadows, but I have nowhere else to go. I have a growing headache and the weight of Dorian’s confession on my shoulders, and I can barely think.

Why? I wonder again, still trying to wrap my mind around it.Why would Dorian admit to the murders? Why damn himself? Why attack me?

Unless…

I remember, abruptly, the way he flinched when I said he would do anything to protect me. No matter what, I still believe that was the truth.Isthe truth. He’d do anything for me…including lying to protect me. Taking credit for a crimeIcommitted. Pushing me away to keep me safe. I always knew that was a possibility.

I don’t know why he would blame himself instead of whatever presence I’ve discovered in the house, but there must be a reason. Theremustbe.

Am I being delusional? I don’t know anymore. I can’t trust myself or my own memories. Everything is such a confusing jumble in my head.

I don’t know if there’s a point anymore, if Dorian will ever be able to be free, but I still need to find out the truth. For myself, if nothing else. Ineedto know.

And I have one way to find it out.

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