Page 33 of The Nightmare's Kiss

Just as I’m starting to relax, and think this day might not be so terrible after all, I reach the fifth item on my to-do list.Record response to Sound 3.For a moment, I’m not sure why that particular stimulus makes me hesitate.

Then it hits me.Sound 3.I remember that button. It was the one that drove me to my first attempt to communicate with the Nightmare, because I felt so goddamn guilty. I can still vividly recall the way he threw himself at the glass and writhed in pain, the way he had to pull himself together afterward. My stomach churns.

I swallow hard, folding my hands in my lap. My mind races to try to think of a way to decline this instruction without revealing far too much about myself and my relationship with Somnus.

“Respectfully, sir,” I say, keeping my eyes trained on the form of the Nightmare instead of looking up at the director, “I already have detailed notes about the subject’s adverse reaction to that particular stimulus.”

Director Ramsey shifts his stance, spine stiffening. “I’m sure I don’t need to lecture you about the necessity of repetition and proving replicability in scientific experiments.”

I clench my hands, attempting to keep down my rising wave of anger. He knows exactly what he’s doing.Exactlywhat he’s asking of me. I’m sure of it. “Are there not notes on the same stimulus from my predecessors?” I ask, still trying to aim for politeness and logic. “I believe the subject’s reaction to this sound to be extreme enough that it will taint any further tests, and surely there are better ways to spend this time—”

“Do not presume to tell me how to run my own facility,” the director snaps, cutting me off. Any pretense of politeness is gone from his tone now; he’s gone serious, icy, commanding. “I am not asking for your opinion on the matter, Ms. Vance. I am issuing a direct order, as your superior.”

I picture the jaws of a bear trap snapping shut. I was right to be cautious after all—there is a reason for his visit, and I suspect this is it. He’s testing me.

I take a deep breath and extend a shaking hand toward the button for Sound 3. I look at it instead of at Somnus. I know that he will understand when I explain it to him tonight. He would tell me that I should do what I must to maintain my job here, at least until I have the evidence I need to confront the director. Surely a few moments of agony is worse than us being forced apart, and the Nightmare being handed over to a new research assistant that will have no qualms about hurting him.

But…no matter what logic says, my hand stops short of the button. I can’t bring myself to do it. I’ve already hurt Somnus before, when I didn’t know any better, and the guilt still tears at me. I cannot do it again. I cannot knowingly hurt someone I care about.

My hand recoils from the button and returns to my lap. I swallow and look up at the director. “No,” I say. I don’t plan to say it until it’s out of my mouth. I don’t care that I’m “just following orders,” or that Somnus will understand. I’m not willing to hurt him, no matter what the consequences may be. “I won’t.”

Director Ramsey’s brow furrows, his lips forming a firm line. I get the sense he’s not used to hearing the word I just used. “You’re refusing a direct order?” he asks, a challenge in his words.

I know where this is going. Still, I can’t bring myself to budge. This is not a line I’m willing to cross. “Given that your order is immoral, yes,sir, I am.”

His lips curl into a contemptuous shadow of a smirk. “Immoral,” he repeats.

“Yes.” My hands curl into fists in my lap. Even though I’m trying to keep my cool, I feel my anger starting to boil over. I hate that arrogant look on his face, the way he seems amused by my refusal, like this is some sort of game to him. “You’re hurting him. You know you are. There’s plenty of data on that test to prove it.”

Just like that, the flicker of a horrible smile is gone. “Him? Are you referring to the subject? That thing within the cell?”

“Somnus is not a thing,” I burst out before I can stop myself. There’s a triumphant look in his eye that suggests I just gave him exactly what he was looking for, but still the words pour out of me. I’ve probably already lost my job, but if there’s a chance I can make him understand, I have to take it. “He’s not an animal either. He’s smart, capable, and empathic. He is a being on the same level as you or me.”

“Whatever romantic notions you’ve gotten into your head, I assure you, young lady, I know our subjects here far better than you do.” The condescension in his voice makes my skin crawl.

My stomach sinks. Even though this is the first issue I’ve had here, I suspect I’m not a valuable enough employee to survive an incident like this. But I do have one trick up my sleeve still. And now, I have nothing left to lose. Before Ramsey can say a word, I lurch to my feet and glare up at him, fists clenched at my sides.

“Before you say more, I have something to show you,” I say. “And trust me. You’re going to want to see it.” I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. “Before the whole world does.”

20

Chapter Twenty

I’m surprised that Director Ramsey agreed so readily to my demand. Either my threat worked, or he’s eager to see the full hand I’m playing with. Or maybe he’s looking for another chance to humiliate me. I’m standing back in what I think of as the Interrogation Room, where the director, Dr. Wright, and Ethan first told me that my dreams of Somnus are real.

But now I’m the one with secrets to reveal.

I keep telling myself that as I stand at the front of the room. Still, I can’t shake the sense that I’m being interviewed, or interrogated, like the last time I was here. There’s something vaguely humiliating about it, like I’m a child giving a presentation. But I force that feeling down and try to reassure myself. Idoknow what I’m doing. Perhaps I wasn’t prepared for it to happen this way, but I have plenty of evidence on the burner phone I’m holding behind my back until we begin. Plus, I have the deep certainty that I amright,and nobody is going to take that from me this time. I just need to find the words to convince them.

Director Ramsey waits in his chair with his awful, condescending smirk. I hate looking at him, so I stare at the floor instead until Dr. Wright walks in the door.

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” she murmurs, brushing past me with barely a glance.

I clasp my shaky hands behind my back and take a deep breath. It doesn’t matter if they already doubt me. I knew it would be an uphill battle, and I’ve worked hard to put together this evidence. I’ve made sure I have access to it on the Cloud too. So even if they don’t believe me, it doesn’t mean my fight is over.

Still, it’ll be a whole lot easier for me if this works.

“When I first arrived at this facility,” I begin once Dr. Wright takes her chair. My voice comes out steady; I may not have been fully prepared for this moment, but I do know what I want to say. What Ihaveto say. “I was told that the subject I would be working with was no more intelligent than ‘an average mammal.’” I pause, glancing between their faces, but their expressions betray nothing. “When I later raised concerns that perhaps this was not the case, I was given reassurances once again, and convinced that I was wrong.” I meet Dr. Wright’s eyes, and find a warning in them, but I’m long past heeding that. “After further work with X-13, the Nightmare, I have found thorough and compelling evidence that he is, in fact, much more than I was led to believe. He has shown a propensity for thought and emotion placing him on the same level of consciousness as any human being.”

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