Page 132 of Branded Hearts

The cityscape below me shrinks as we climb higher into the sky, disappearing beneath the clouds.

I try to distract myself with my Kindle, but my mind keeps drifting back to Bradley and Liv. I wonder if she’ll ever forgive me, if things will ever go back to how they were. The flight attendant interrupts my thoughts, offering me a drink. I politely decline, lost in my own world. The hours pass slowly, each minute dragging on as I replay our last conversation over and over in my head.

Did I do the right thing by leaving so soon?

Maybe I should have cancelled going to the exhibition. I’m conflicted. The uncertainty gnaws at me, making it impossible to find peace.

Eventually, we begin our descent toward Sydney. My stomach churns with a mix of anxiety and anticipation. What will I find when I get there? A part of me hopes for clarity, for some kind of sign that will tell me what to do next. But another part of me is terrified of what that sign might be. I stare out the window, watching the cityscape come into view, and take a deep breath.

I can’t shake the feeling of regret for not telling Liv sooner, for going behind her back. The thought brings tears to my eyes.

Whatever happens, I know I have to face it head-on.

This is my mess to clean up, my mistakes to own.

44

All I Want - Kodaline

One whole week it’s been since I last saw Amelia, and every day feels like a lifetime. Onelongfucking week of trying to distract myself so I don’t lose my shit.

It’s like I’ve been thrown back to those months before I started hanging around her. I wake up, head to work, come home, struggle to sleep—well, the lack thereof—and repeat. I’ve been pushing myself, throwing everything into work.

My body screams for me to stop, to rest, but I can’t. My shoulder’s a dull ache now, where it was once dislocated, and my ribs are doing better. I can breathe easier now, well... in thepainscheme of things. The doctors are pleased with my recovery, especially this quickly. I no longer need pain meds, but I occasionally still ice my ribs now and then.

Right now, we’re getting rid of old furniture from the station, making way for new desks and facilities. I’m out back, tossing some old stuff from my desk into the skip bin.

“Easy there, tiger. Need a hand?” Daniels asks.

“No,” I grunt, lifting a chair with my good arm, tossing it in. Ilook back at Daniels, who’s standing there with a moon boot and sporting crutches.

My eyes soften for a moment, and I feel a pang of guilt for my mate. His injury is on me. If I hadn’t moved closer to that house, Daniels wouldn’t have come to get me, and he wouldn’t have been hurt. I stare at his boot.

“Hey. Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” I say, my tone clipped.

“Don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s cool, mate. Protect and defend our own. Always,” he says with a nod.

Protect and defend our own.

If only I’d done that for Amelia. If only I’d done that for my sister. If only I’d listened to myself over the past few months and not pursued her. The one time I make a sacrifice, the one time I do something for myself—something I’d been hesitant to do—and look where it’s gotten me.

A sister who won’t talk to me, won’t even look at me; a mother who looks at me like she knows something but won’t say it; and now Amelia—I feel like I’m losing her, too.

I feel as though maybe I already have.

I failed her. I failed everyone.

I sigh, the weight of it all bearing down on me. I shouldn’t be lifting anything too heavy, but I don’t give a fuck. The pain only spurs me on more to keep going.

My ribs now scream in protest, but theachein my chest is worse. I busy myself, trying to push through the pain, both physical andemotional, but it’s no use. It’s always there, gnawing at me, reminding me of what I’ve done and what I’ve lost.

Daniels breaks the silence. “The council wants you to join some of the firefighters in addressing them about the incident.”

I just shrug.

“They’re calling you the town’s local hero.”

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