Page 32 of Lassoed Love

Claire raises an eyebrow, hands crossed over her middle, leaning against the kitchen counter. Damn, this woman is persistent. Fuck, I feel sorry for whoever decides to date her. God love her, though. Taking a big gulp of water, swallowing both the water and my nerves down.

“Fine, Xavier brought me home! There, happy?”

Claire squints her eyes. “No, something else happened. You know my intuition is fucking phenomenal. You can’t lie to me, Isla Thompson.” I take a deep inhale, mentally contemplating how togo about this.

“Well for starters, he literally chucked me into his ute because he wouldn’t take no for an answer and then drove us to the… um, ‘Royal Cove Lookout,’ I think that's what it’s called,” I say, trying to recall the name.

Claire interrupts, her eyes going wide, raising a hand to stop me. “He chucked—Wait, hold up, did you guys hookup?” I roll my eyes and tsk.

“Do you want me to tell you what happened or not?”

“Yes, yes, sorry. Hurry up,” Claire replies eagerly.

“We just sat in silence for a bit and spoke. It was actually nice; he just took my mind off everything. Distracted me for a bit,” I recount, downplaying the intensity of the moment.

Claire pushes for more details, “And then? Is that it?” I refrain from telling her that I had actually tried to initiate the first kiss because that’s just mortifying.

“We just talked, Claire. Nothing crazy happened.” But the way she’s staring at me suggests she’s not entirely convinced. The air hangs with unspoken questions, and I can’t escape the fact that last night was indeed a turning point, and the mere thought of him sends a flutter of butterflies dancing in my stomach.

“Oh, come on! Quit being a prude for once and live a little. Spill,” she teases, taking a sip of her water and leaning in expectantly.

I take another deep breath and huff out, “Fine, he dropped me off homeandwalked me up to my door… and then he fucking kissed the life right out of me.”

Claire chokes on her water, coughing and sputtering. “No, he didn’t! I fucking knew it! No way. What was it like?Xavier Mitchell, who would have bloody thought?” she huffs out a laugh in disbelief.

What was it like?

You know that feeling when someone’s lips touch yours, and it becomes intense, electrifying? It’s like an explosion of warmth spreading from your lips to every inch of your body. There’s this incredible surge of butterflies straight to your stomach, like a fluttering dance of anticipation. It’s as if the world fades away, and all that’s left is this magnetic connection, leaving you completely breathless and caught up in the sheer intensity of the moment.Yeah, like that.

“It was… nice.” Downplaying everything currently running in my mind.

“NICE! Just nice? You said he kissed the life out of you, and it was just… nice?!”

“It was like, when his lips touched mine, this crazy warm and tingly feeling took over. Like everything else just vanished, and I couldn’t breathe for a second—It was fucking intense, Claire.” I pause, attempting to put into words the sensation that still lingers on my lips. I shiver at the thought of it. It’d been a while since I had been kissed like that, or kissed in general, for that matter. I run my fingers through my hair, exhaling slowly as I ponder on these thoughts.

“The way Justin used to kiss me was just normal, mediocre at best, maybe. He’d say things, making me believe I wasn't good enough, or not skinny enough, but then he’d sweeten it up with his excuse of, ‘caring too much for me, and just wanting what was best for ‘us’,’and I totally fell for it. I was so innocent and naïve back then, unbeknownst to me at the time.” His kisses never used to give mebutterflies. Maybe once or twice at the beginning, but after that, everything intimate just became a chore.

“Honestly, it’s… it was fucked, Claire. You have no idea. It’s like you no longer feel like the person you used to be. You often wonder if you’re being too sensitive. You feel like everything you do is wrong. I just didn’t feel like me anymore, you know?”

“Wait.That’swhy you broke up?! You said it was a mutual agreement…babe?”she says softly, tears welling in her eyes.

The absence of commitment after Justin never bothered me before, but now it’s different. Now, I find myself yearning for something more, someone perhaps? Who will appreciate me without demanding change?It scares me, you know?The idea of opening up again after everything that went down with Justin. I don’t even know Xavier that well for him to be spurring on these infuriating thoughts after one kiss. Justone!

Who is he really? What is he truly like now after all these years post high school?I haven’t spent much time with him now to know the true answers to these questions.Do I even want the answers?I can’t stop myself from wondering this and it both bothers me yet intrigues me.Why, though? Arghh.

“Yeah, and no, definitely notmutual,” I say softly. “Fuck, I’ve never really said those words out loud,” I admit, my voice cracking. Tears start slipping from my eyes, and I blink them away. Claire looks at me, her own tears falling.

“Oh my god, babe!” she exclaims, rushing over to give me a hug. “Why didn’t you ever tell me? I knew he could be a bit of a wanker at times, but I didn’t realise how bad it’d gotten,” she says, sniffling into my shoulder, spurring on my sobs.No one did. Not even his own family.

As Claire and I stand there, embraced in a hug that feels like an eternity, she finally breaks the connection, and her words slice through the heavy silence, “You're so much better than him. Fuck that piece of shit. You deserve better, and you must know that now; otherwise, you wouldn’t have broken it off with him.” I nod, feeling the truth of her words settling into the wounds that Justin left behind.

“You're beautiful, both inside and out. Women would kill to have these curves. I would kill to have them, honest to god.” Claire’s compliment only intensifies the emotions swelling within me.

She presses on, “It takes a real man to appreciate these things as well as a woman’s personality, and the day you find one who does, you better not let him go, because trust me, they’re fucking impossible to find in this sea of men. Believe me, I am surrounded by men all day, 24/7, and it’s fucking hard. I am convinced all men are useless.”

I huff out a laugh, and as I look at Claire’s determined expression, a genuine smile forms on my face. “You know,” I say, feeling a sense of gratitude, “you always know how to make me laugh, even in the midst of a breakdown. I love you.”

Claire grins, gently wiping away the last of my tears. “Damn right,babe. Love you, too! Now, let’s forget about that asshole ex of yours and focus on finding you a real man who appreciates you for all that you are. Trust me, he’s out there, swimming against the tide of uselessness.” Our shared laughter becomes a comforting melody. “I say, get to know Xavier more. You just never know.”

---