Page 15 of Lassoed Love

I rub my temples, feeling the exhaustion from a sleepless night. “Just had a rough night, couldn’t sleep. Some personal stuff to sort out.”

Katy’s voice softens, “I’m sorry to hear that, darling. Take all the time you need. Your well-being comes first. I can shuffle appointments around and ask Molly to handle things at the clinic. Don’t worry about work today.”Oh my god, bless this woman.

I express my gratitude, “Thanks, Katy. I appreciate your understanding. I’ll keep you posted if anything changes.” The unspoken weight of yesterday’s events lingers in the air, and I know today is reserved for navigating the storm of emotions within me.

Desperate to shake off the relentless thoughts that have consumed my mind, I hastily rummage through my wardrobe. In a rush, I opt for my favourite pair of Nike React runners, a pair of black bike shorts, an old sports bra with the tag worn off, and throw a loose tee over the top for comfort.

Grabbing my Apple watch from the stand beside my bed, I head into the kitchen and snatch a bottle of water from the fridge with an urgency that matches the chaos in my mind. The cool surface briefly soothes my warm fingertips. Grabbing my AirPods, I make a swift exit, the door closing with a resounding click.

Outside, the merciless sunlight intensifies the urgency within me. Stepping outside my little brick apartment complex, I inhale deeply, attempting to fill my lungs with air. But the oppressive heat outside has transformed the atmosphere into a suffocating blend of warmth and humidity.Fuuuuck, this heat is a bitch!

The early morning, usually a time of crispness, offers no reprieve. It’s almost 8.30am, and the temperature has already soared to twenty-six degrees, according to the weather app on my phone.

Ichide myself for choosing the worst possible time to go on a run, yet the need to clear my mind propels me forward. The small apartment complex I call home is situated about twenty minutes from the town’s centre, and as I navigate my surroundings, I find myself engulfed by the bush. The quietude of nature juxtaposes the chaos within, each step echoing my desperate attempt to outrun the thoughts that threaten to overwhelm me.

Pounding along the dirt path, I’m immersed in the earthy scent of wood and eucalyptus. The heat intensifies, making each breath a struggle, and I can practically feel beads of sweat forming on my skin. It’s hot as balls out here, and I’m convinced I’ve sweated out every millilitre of water I consumed today.

My loose shirt is now clinging to me. Ugh, yuck. ‘Hurricane’ by I Prevail blares through my AirPods—huh, that’s fitting—adding an extra surge of oppressive energy as I press on.

Minutes turn into hours, and I push through, alternating between a walk and jog so I don’t overexert myself in this heat. Despite being gone for seven or so years, I’m still able to recognise and navigate my way around these dirt trails. I used to walk these, when I was younger, with Mum and Dad, sometimes. Back when things were normal, when things were okay.

But things aren’t okay now. My dad... I don’t even know where to begin. He’s stuck in his ways, and I’m stuck, unsure how to work my way around this situation with him. On top of that, Xavier keeps filtering into my thoughts. His image from Monday at the clinic replays in my mind. Fuck me, the man has changed so much, yetstill remains the same annoying guy. My mind wanders to his appearance—the way he is just so masculine, so manly—rockin’ that cowboy hat and mullet of his, a beard now, which is a distinct change since high school. I can’t help but think about how much I loved the sight of it. He’s still so incredibly attractive, and I’m embarrassed to say my thoughts as a fifteen-year-old, back then, have still not changed.

Fuck, I shouldn’t care. I don't want to care about the way he looks. He shouldn’t have an effect on me at all. But damn, he does. Why does he have to look so good? It’s infuriating. I need to focus on something else, anything else. But my thoughts still race.

I’d spent the last seven years, while at uni, successfully avoiding any thoughts of high school or of him, and now one stupid fucking encounter is jeopardizing that. My mind keeps replaying our conversation, analysing every word and gesture. Why is he even on my mind? This is ridiculous. I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts, but his image lingers, stubbornly refusing to fade.

I’ve been so lost in my thoughts that the music blaring in my ears was lost in the background. As I regain my breathing, I realise the song has now shifted to ‘Decode’ by Paramore. Thatstwosongs now that ironically match my mood—the universe must be fucking with me. This is just great.

I glance at my Apple Watch, which dutifully informs me that I’ve trekked five kilometres so far. Despite the oppressive heat, I push through. Shaking off my previous thoughts, I continue running until I reach what appears to be the edge of a property.

Rounding a bend, I continue to observe the fenced property, its boundaries lined by a series of Australian Pine trees. As I trudge along the path, my mind races with a jumble of thoughts and emotions. The rhythmic pounding of my feet against the earth is both soothing and agitating, a physical manifestation of my inner turmoil. I’ve been lost in my own head for what feels like ages, trying to sort through the mess of my thoughts, but now, with the sudden realisation of where I’ve ended up, my focus snaps sharply into the present.

About fifteen minutes ago, I passed an archway with a sign labelled ‘Mitchell Valley Farm’, yet at the time, being so consumed in my thoughts, it hadn’t occurred to me that I’d been approaching his farm.

My heart starts to race as anxiety sets in, triggering a flurry of conflicting emotions. Dread, curiosity, and a healthy dose of annoyance all bubble up inside me.

As I slow my pace, a house in the far distance comes into view, yet it remains shrouded in a lack of detail, too distant for my eyes to make out. So, despite my deafening thoughts to stop walking, I trudge forward. Up ahead, I spot a figure standing amidst the swaying grass, a horse at his side. My instinct screams at me to stop, to turn around and hightail it out of there. I freeze.No, no, no. I should turn back.But of course, my insatiable curiosity refuses to let me heed that sensible voice.God, I can be such an idiot sometimes.

As I draw closer, the realisation hits me like a punch to the gut.Xavier Mitchell.Of course it’s him. I’d spot that cowboy hat and mullet from a mile away. Out of all the farms in this godforsakenarea, fate just had to lead me to his. Typical.

The universe has a twisted sense of humour, that’s for sure.

I can feel my heart rate skyrocketing as I debate my next move. Every instinct tells me to flee, to retreat back into the safety of anonymity. But there’s a stubborn part of me that wants to stay, to see what happens. Maybe it’s morbid curiosity, or maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment.

Either way, I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. And as Xavier’s silhouette looms larger in my vision, I can’t help but curse my own damn nosiness. I try to rationalise my predicament, but it’s no use. I’m stuck, caught between my desire to leave and the nagging curiosity that brought me here in the first place.Stupid, stupid girl.

I mutter to myself, “Shit! What should I do? I’ve walked too far up now to turn around.”

Hastily, I seek refuge behind a nearby tree, using its trunk as a flimsy shield. My mind races as I try to come up with a plan. Running back the way I came seems futile; Xavier would undoubtedly spot me. Could this day get any worse?

In the midst of my racing thoughts, I feel a slight sensation moving up my arm and movement catches my peripheral vision. I turn, only to come face to face with the ugliest bloody spider I’ve ever seen—on my fuckingshoulder. I practically jump out of my skin, instantaneously smacking my arm whilst letting out a screech that echoes through the air like a banshee.

Well,nowI’m fucked.

9

In the serene expanse of the field, I find a momentary pause to tend to Blue, my trusted companion, whose saddle and reins are proving a tad unruly. The rhythmic sounds of nature envelop us—birds singing, leaves rustling—creating a soothing melody that is momentarily disrupted by an unexpected screech echoing from the distance, emanating from the nearby trees. Instinctively, my head snaps in the direction of the disturbance.

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