Page 125 of Lassoed Love

As Xavier releases me, words tumble out of my mouth in a rapid, sincere confession.

“I love you, Xavier. I fucking love you so much. I’m so sorry it took me this long to say these words, but they’re here now, and they’re everything. My love for you is so overwhelming, I ache for you. I can’t thank you enough for the strength and support you’ve given me over these past weeks, these months. I want you to know that I am yours.”

In that vulnerable moment, surrounded by audible gasps from the group behind me and a collective “aww” likely from Xavier’s mother, I lay my feelings bare, letting the weight of my emotions speak for themselves. Xavier’s response is a soft affirmation, his voice carrying a sense of finality.

“Isla, I’ve known it’s always been there. I’m yours too,” he says, relief etched across his beautiful, rugged features.

“It’s always been you. I’m fucking ruined for anyone else. I’m yours for as long as you’ll have me. You’re it for me.” he says, sincerity colouring his every word.

“Forever, we have forever.”

47

How Do I Say Goodbye - Dean Lewis

Conversations In The Dark - John Legend

My Love Won’t Let You Down - Little Mix

In the quiet aftermath of the funeral, the gathering of sombre faces moves towards Isla. The small service, surrounded by close loved ones, as per Isla’s request—our friends Imogen, Amelia, Harrison, Michael, Claireandmy family, are all here, offering their unwavering support and love, yet now, it’s time to say the final goodbyes. Isla stands strong, her eyes a mix of sorrow and gratitude. I can feel the weight of her grief, the heaviness of loss, as each person shares their condolences for her father. The priest, a figure of solemn reassurance, guides the process.

The cemetery, adorned with flowers—daisies and wildflowers, Isla’s choice, becomes the final resting place for her father, laid to rest beside her mother. The simplicity of the service aligns with Isla’s wishes; no wake, just a space for shared remembrances and silent reflection.

Isla, with a graceful nod, steps forward as the priest calls upon her to share a few words. The space around us settles into respectful silence, and with one reassuring squeeze from my hand, she walks up beside her father’s grave.

She takes a deep breath, her eyes fixed on the earth that now envelops her father. Her voice, a mix of vulnerability and strength, carries over the gathering.

“Thank you all for being here today,” Isla begins, gratitude threaded through her words. “Your presence means more than I can express. My dad... he was a man of few words but he had a heart full of love.” She takes a moment, looking out over us, and a wistful smile graces her lips.

“He had this way of making even the smallest moments feel significant. From teaching me how to ride a bike to how to shoot a gun, and sharing quiet Sunday afternoons with Mum and I, his love was always there. With age, although we had grown apart, I take comfort in knowing that his love for me was always there, and mine too.”

As a gentle breeze rustles through the air, she continues, “And as we say our goodbyes, let’s remember those happy moments, the laughter, the wisdom that he imparted. Those moments are our shared treasures, the legacy he leaves behind. Dad, you’ve reunited with Mum now, and I find absolute comfort in that. Your love lives on in each of us, and as we bid you farewell, we carry your memory in our hearts.”

With those final words, Isla steps back, and the priest offers a consoling nod. As she returns to stand beside me, there’s an unexpected shift in the atmosphere when my father steps forward, seeking the priest's permission to share his thoughts.

“I know I’m the last person you’d expect to see up ‘ere,” he confesses, his tone carrying a mixture of regret and sincerity. “But I justwanted to voice my thoughts. Things... uh, didn’t end too well with Callum and me. He’d been an old comrade of mine for years, and I let one damn incident blind me with resentment ‘nd grudges. I’m embarrassed to admit that it took me years to finally succumb to my actions. My son, uh, opened my eyes to everythin’.”

His gaze shifts to Isla, and his sincerity is evident. “Isla, I’ve said it before, but I’mma say it now. I’m sorry for the distress I caused, not only you, but your father. Deep down, he was a good man, a troubled man, but he had’a good heart. I hope he is up there now, forgivin’ my actions, but I know he’s probably shakin’ his head and cursin’ like a madman,” he chuckles. “Rest easy bud.”

As my father steps back, the weight of his apology lingers in the air, leaving a complex mix of emotions in its wake.

My father turns to look at me, and in the exchange, there’s a silent understanding that transcends the spoken words. His nod carries a depth of acknowledgment, love, and relief. In his eyes, I find a connection that speaks volumes, and for a brief moment, the weight of our recent rifts feels a bit lighter.

As the priest announces the conclusion of the service, everyone begins to approach Isla, offering hugs, kisses, and heartfelt condolences. I watch her, noting her calm and composed demeanour, yet I can't shake the underlying nervousness. Beneath her serene exterior, I know there's a storm of emotions, and I long to know how I can help her weather it.

Despite my nerves, I find comfort in the outpouring of love and support surrounding Isla. She is not alone in her grief; she isembraced by my friends and family, who have become her own. For now, that knowledge brings me a sense of peace, knowing that she is cared for and supported, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

“Hey, I’m going to drop my parents off and then meet you at your place later, okay?” I say to Isla, a gentle smile on my face as I reassure her.

Isla nods. “Take your time. I’ll be waiting,” she says, her voice filled with warmth and appreciation. She places a tender kiss on my lips, and with a nod, we part ways momentarily.

As I guide my parents to my ute, they take their seats, with my mother in the front. As I drive away, she places a comforting hand on my thigh and says, “Proud of you, Xavier. You’ve grown up to become such an amazing man, and your father and I are proud.”

“Thanks, Ma,” I reply, stealing a glance at my father in the rearview mirror. He nods at me, and a swell of emotions fills my chest as we navigate through the quiet streets back home. My mother’s next words catch me off guard, “She’s going to need you now, the most. Be patient with her, dear.”

Her words resonate deeply within me, and I vow silently to be there for Isla, to support her through whatever comes next.

As I pull up to Isla’s apartment, the quiet neighbourhood wraps around me. She had texted earlier to let me know her door wasunlocked, so I park my ute and make my way up. The shower’s faint sound reaches my ears as I kick off my boots and enter her apartment, closing the door behind me.

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