Page 124 of Lassoed Love

Together, we’ll navigate this storm, one step at a time.

46

Father - Demi Lovato

Footprints in the Sand - Leona Lewis

Give You Love - Jessica Mauboy, Jason Derulo

Two days later, after Dad spoke his first words in weeks, he passed away peacefully in his sleep.

Dad’s body finally succumbed to the relentless battle, his weakened frame unable to bear the weight any longer. The brain, once the conductor of his every move, quietly gave up its role, refusing to send those crucial signals that kept everything in check. There I stood, at the epicentre of the wreckage left in the wake of his departure.

Xavier, my solid anchor, stuck with me through those crazy hours. His whispered words were like a balm to my battered soul. His warm embrace had been a welcoming refuge when I’d hit the floor—not in a dramatic way, more like a controlled crumple to the cold, unforgiving tile.

His hands, both strong and tender, rubbed and massaged my back, silently promising to bear the weight of my grief alongside me.

As they made the official call on his time of death, it felt like we were in this circle of love. Imogen, Olivia, Amelia, Bradley, Harrison, Michael – the whole gang, all sharing in the pain. Even Xavier's parents were quietly doing the supportive thing. And whenmy teary eyes met his old man’s gaze, it was like opening the floodgates. Tears, the heavy kind, filled with grief, made a grand entrance.

His father offered condolences with a pat on Xavier’s back. Then, to my surprise, Xavier’s father pulled me into a comforting hug, his hands rubbing circles on my back. In that unexpected embrace, my gaze remained locked on Xavier. His eyes, glistening with unshed tears. A nurse approaches me, a mix of sympathy and professionalism in her eyes.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Isla,” she said softly, placing a comforting hand on my arm. “The hospital will take care of the necessary procedures. They have forwarded the notification to the funeral director, who will lodge it with the NSW Registry of Births, Deaths & Marriages.”

I nodded, my emotions still raw but concealed beneath a fragile veneer of composure. She’d informed me that in the coming weeks, Births, Deaths and Marriages would issue a Death Certificate. I could obtain it from them when it was ready. And as for his belongings, like clothing, shoes, and toiletries, I could collect them from the ward—once I wasready. Her words hung in the air. Questions swirled in my mind.

Now, presently, as the doctors prepare to wheel my dad away, Xavier, sensing the gravity of the moment, gently instructs everyone to leave the room. Overwhelmed with gratitude for his understanding and support, especially after pushing him away before due to my own fears and distractions, I feel immense love and appreciation in these final moments. With a lingering kiss to my lips, Xavier leavesme alone with my father.

With tears streaming down my face, I lean close to my father’s ear, the words tumbling out in a mix of deep love and profound regret. “Dad, I’m so sorry,” I choke out, my voice trembling with emotion.

“I wish I had come home sooner, so we could have had more time together. I love you so much, and I’ll miss you every day.” Each word is heavy with the weight of missed opportunities and unspoken conversations, a lament for the time lost and the moments we’ll never share.

The room is filled with the sound of my sobs, the rawness of my grief echoing off the walls. I bury my face in his chest, seeking solace in the familiar scent of him, in the warmth of his presence that still lingers. The reality of his passing crashes over me like a wave, leaving me gasping for breath, clutching desperately to the hand that will never hold mine again.

Memories flood my mind, a torrent of images and emotions that threaten to overwhelm me. I remember the sound of his laughter, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled, the warmth of his hugs that made everything feel okay.

With a final, lingering touch, I gently squeeze my father’s hand before releasing it, a silent farewell to the man who taught me so much. Turning away, I take a deep, shuddering breath, the first step on a new path without him by my side. Even though I had been gone for so long, even though our relationship had been strained over the years, he still always remained close. In myhead, in myheart, in everything I did—in everything I still continueto donow.

He taught me more than words can express, and I’ll forever cherish the bond we once had. His presence lingers, a gentle reminder of the love that will always remain in my heart. As I step forward into this new chapter of my life, I carry his memory with me, a guiding light in the darkness of my grief.

Yet, amidst the emotional turmoil, a sense of clarity and peace emerges, knowing that my father is no longer suffering and has finally joined my beautiful mother in heaven. “Look after her for me, would you?” I whisper to my father, my voice filled with a mix of sorrow and acceptance. “I promise I’ll be okay.”

As I stand there, surrounded by the quiet of the room and the memories of the past, I feel a gentle sense of closure wash over me. The weight of grief still lingers, but there's a glimmer of hope in knowing that my parents are together once more, watching over me from above.

As I speak, I look up and see Xavier standing beside the door—a personal protector. Directed to both my father and my mother listening from above, I whisper, “I found him. I found the one person who makes everything whole, the one person to fill the void that stained my heart over the years.”

With one last cry, I sob on my father’s chest, allowing the flood of emotions to wash over me.

In these final moments, as tears stream down my face onto my father’s chest, a sense of longing fills my chest. The warmth of love lingers, a bittersweet feeling that accompanies the finality of his departure. His apologies and words of love in these last momentsbecome the closure I desperately need to heal my once-broken heart. For years, abuse and disconnection and a failed relationship have left me questioning my worth and whether I am truly loved.

In these fleeting moments, my father’s sincere apologies and expressions of love reassure me. The weight lifts, and I find solace in knowing that, despite the past, I am loved. The pain of the years starts to fade, replaced by a newfound understanding that healing is possible, even in the wake of loss.

A wave of warmth fills my chest, a desire, a longing, a need, a love for the man standing just outside those doors. I need to tell him how much I love him—I’m ready. Ready to pour my heart out for the man who has relentlessly been in my mind since before I can remember. Just as he once said, ‘it’s always been you,’ well, it’s always been him for me. I’d just been blinded by hate to realise.

Time is fleeting, and I’m determined not to repeat the mistakes I made with my father—neglecting to be there for him, failing to express my love enough. After one final kiss on my father’s head, I rush to the door and push it open, where Xavier stands.

“What’s—” he begins, a concerned look on his face. Not caring for the audience lingering in the quiet hallway, I throw my hands around his neck and slam my lips to his.

Xavier’s strong arms wrap around me tightly, before moving them to grab my ass, effortlessly lifting me into his arms. The world fades away as our lips collide in a deep, passionate kiss. My love pours out in waves, a cascade of emotions that have been held back for too long. We stay like that for a while, just kissing, before a clearing of a throatbreaks our little love filled bubble.

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