Page 86 of Rowdy Hearts

What the hell had happened to me in St. David?

I wasn’t sure I wanted an answer to that.

Another few seconds later, Rowdy turned his head to press his lips against my temple. My heart skipped a beat at the tenderness in that touch, and my arms tightened around his neck. I held him tight for a few seconds before I loosened them as he slid out of me and set me on my feet. And when he met my gaze, I saw that grin of his and my stomach clenched.

What the hell was I doing here?

And how the hell was I going to fix this?

CHAPTER TWENTY

Rowdy

“Hey,Rowdy. Can I – I need –You got a minute?”

“Sure, JJ. What’s up?”

Jason Kruse motioned to me from a corner of the hall that led to the locker room. I’d just walked through the doors, so the first-year defenseman must’ve been waiting for me. I hadn’t noticed him right away, which was almost impossible to believe because the guy’s six-three and nearly two-hundred-twenty pounds.

But I’d been…distracted. Something had changed with Tressy after we’d had sex in the kitchen, which I could never walk into again without getting a hard on. She’d gotten quiet and her smile hadn’t exactly reached her eyes. I’d wanted to ask if I’d done something wrong, but when she’d come out of the bathroom, whatever it was seemed to have passed.

I’d dropped her back at my parents’ place so she could take a shower and get ready for the game. She’d kissed me beforegetting out of my truck, and it hadn’t been just a little peck. There’s been some tongue action and a whole lot of heat but … Something was off.

Was she thinking about leaving? I hoped to hell she was thinking more about staying.

“Hey, I need to tell you something.”

JJ’s voice pulled me back to the present with a jolt. My attention immediately focused on my teammate, who, I realized, was pretty damn close to having a full-on meltdown. He was sweating, his breathing heavy and labored, like he’d just spent a double shift on the ice. And I recognized that look on his face. Sheer panic.

I took a breath before asking, “What happened, JJ?”

I didn’t make it accusatory or sharp, just like I was asking him what he wanted to have for dinner.

“Man, I fucked up.” He shoved a hand through short, dark hair that looked like he’d done that a few times before. “And I don’t know what to do.”

All the hair on my arms stood on end. The misery in his voice nailed me in the gut like a sucker punch. I took a step closer, trying to see his eyes, which he kept focused on the ground.

“Did you hurt someone?”

He shook his head immediately but still didn’t look up. “No, it’s not like that. I…”

“Okay, then, just spit it out. It’s just the two of us here. No one else. Let me ask you two questions first. Are the police involved? And do you need a lawyer?”

That made JJ look up, eyes wide. His pupils didn’t look blown, and he looked genuinely shocked that I would ask those questions.

“No. No, it’s nothing like that.”

“That’s good, then.” I sighed silently and forced a smile. “Then it’s not as bad as you think it is. Just breathe, dude.”

JJ blinked, looking like he hadn’t considered that. Then he took a deep breath and blew it out. And another. While I pulled up my mental records on the guy. He’d just turned twenty-six and had come to us from a stint in the AHL somewhere out west. Couldn’t remember where and it didn’t matter. What did matter was the fact that the guy had had a habit. A cocaine habit, if I remembered correctly.

“I took that hit into the boards last night.” He shoved his hands through his short blond hair, making it stand straight up. “I didn’t think anything about it until I got back to my apartment last night and my fucking knee started to hurt. It’s the first fucking game of the season, and I can’t be out already. I just thought I’d take one. I don’t even know why I still have the fucking shit. Fuck, that’s not even true. I know why I have them.”

“JJ. Stop.” I didn’t want to raise my voice, but the guy was spiraling. I grabbed his shoulder and squeezed, finally getting him to meet my gaze. “How much did you take?”

“Two.”

Two what? Snorts? He must have seen my confusion because he shook his head, his eyes wide. “Fuck no! I didn’t do blow. I made a promise to my mom, and I’m sticking to it. But the doc I saw over the summer prescribed Tylenol with codeine for my back. I know I should’ve told him I couldn’t take it. But my back was fucking messed up, and I knew this team was my last chance, and I couldn’t fuck it up. I was real careful about it. I only took a couple until I could tolerate the pain, but I should’ve flushed the rest. I know I should’ve. But I kept them and?—

---