A little?
I wanted to tell myself to shut up but didn’t want Mike to think I was talking to him.
Forcing a quick smile, I shook my head.“Nothing.It just wasn’t going to work out between us.”
Mike’s head cocked to the side.“How do you know?”
I shrugged.“It’s just wasn’t.It’s better this way.”
Mike frowned hard.“Why?”
Because he would’ve left me anyway.“Sometimes relationships just don’t work out.”
“Was he…” Mike frowned even harder, “like your ex?”
“God, no!No, Mike.Shane is nothing like Rich.”
“Then…” With a sigh, Mike shook his head.“I guess I just don’t understand.”
Christ, now I’d dragged my brother down into the dumps with me.
“There’s really nothing to understand.It just wasn’t going to work out.”
After a few seconds, Mike finally nodded slowly.“Like me working at that restaurant.That’s what the manager told me, that it wasn’t going to work out.He didn’t like working with me.So you didn’t like Shane enough.”
Blindsided, I went blank.The real reason the manager had fired Mike was because he was a prejudiced asshole and hadn’t been comfortable around my brother.
“No, that’s not it.I like Shane.It’s just…”
“Complicated.”
Looking into Mike’s eyes, I saw an understanding I hadn’t expected him to have.I shouldn’t have been surprised, though.My brother’s brain functioned differently than most people but he was practically empathic when it came to reading people’s feelings.
“Yeah.It’s really complicated.Especially for me.”
“Because of your ex.”
I wanted to deny it but I wouldn’t lie to Mike.
“Kind of.I just…don’t want to be left behind when he moves on.”
The truth rushed out but it finally felt good to admit it to someone who wouldn’t judge me.It truly sucked that I knew it was my own screwed-up emotions that had pushed Shane away.It also sucked that I couldn’t think of another way to handle it.
Because the truth still remained.He would eventually leave and I would stay.And nothing either of us could do would change that fact.
Mike reached for my hand and squeezed.“We don’t have to go to the game.”
“Of course we do.Jake wants you to come.And I know you want to go.”
“But—”
“No buts.We’ll have a good time.”
Keep telling yourself that.Maybe you’ll believe it in a year or so.
Shane
“Holy shit,we fuckingdestroyedthose fucking gerbils,” CJ shouted as I walked into the locker room after taking a bow for being the first star of the game.“The Brick Wall lives!”