Page 46 of An Indecent Longing

And dangerous.

And it made her question, for the hundredth time, her decision to come out with him tonight. Especially after Blank had inadvertently told her how Ben and Ian were related.

But she found she wanted to talk to him.

“I don’t know how many that means. Some days one is too many. Some die of old age and those are sad, but it’s a fact of life. Others are here one second and gone the next. They get hit by a car or have an aneurysm or a stroke or a heart attack. Babies die of cancer. Teenagers are shot. These are still facts of life but I don’t have to like them.”

She’d been watching him navigate downtown Saturday night traffic, safe in the fact that he had to keep his gaze on the road. But now he pulled to a stop at a red light and turned to her, snagging her gaze and keeping her eye contact.

His copper eyes were so sharp, they seemed to see inside her. And that would be a disaster. She had secrets he couldn’t discover. But apparently, he had secrets of his own.

“You’re right. That all sucks.”

His quiet tone made her grimace. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“Hey, you never need to apologize to me for anything. I want to hear whatever you have to say. I don’t want you to filter anything.”

And wouldn’t that be amazing? For a man to actually mean that? In her experience, men wanted women to look nice at their sides and keep their mouths shut. To play the part of the smart doctor and the pretty socialite, something she couldn’t pull off even on a good day.

Even her dad, to some degree, wanted her to play a role.

As those thoughts wound through her head, she realized Ben had started to smile right before he had to turn away so he could drive.

“I filter everything,” she finally said. “I can’t help myself. Habit of the profession.”

“Guess that makes sense. But you don’t have to filter your personality for me, okay?”

“You’ll regret that.”

“No, I don’t think I will, but I’d love to know why you think that.”

Well, she’d dug the hole herself. Typical of her. She gave a deep sigh and decided to take him up on his offer. To give him a dose of her unfiltered personality because she’d rather know now than three weeks down the line if he could handle her. She hadn’t met a man yet who could.

She sighed. “Because I’m not exactly sure how to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Date.”

He didn’t answer right away, as if he was having trouble figuring out what to say.

“Obviously you weren’t dating the right guys.”

She shook her head, a bemused smile curving her lips. “Do you have an answer for everything?”

He smiled, and her heart pounded against her ribs in a crazy rhythm.

“Usually, yeah. Drives my cousin crazy. But in my business, it’s a good trait to have. If I question everything, I’m usually never surprised when shit goes sideways.”

His mention of his cousin made her thoughts start to spiral, but she made a conscious effort to keep her focus steady. “And does that happen a lot?”

“More than you might think. Sometimes it’s just something simple, like a missing piece of equipment. Sometimes it’s an ambush you never saw coming.”

“Has that happened?”

“Yes.”

“You said you were in the Navy, right?”

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