Page 63 of Some Cowboys Brave the Flames

He stood outside the closed door of his boss’s office with heavy hesitation. There was no telling how this conversation was going to go. Tanner could tell him he needed to think it over. Technically, Ash could just walk away from all of it if his requests weren’t met, but he didn’t want to do that, either.

His heart ached in his chest, each beat striking a pain through him that he wasn’t prepared for. This was the right thing to do. He knew that to some degree. The problem was that the rationalization of it all wasn’t helping.

There was no use putting this off. He had to do something. It was now or never—before he lost his nerve completely.

Ash pushed the door open slightly and poked his head into Tanner’s office. Tanner had only just arrived at the station to get to some paperwork after some of the guys put out a barn fireon the outskirts of town. Just as expected, Tanner’s head was buried in a pile of paperwork. He held a handful of pages in one hand while he stared down at a document on his desk, a pen in the other. He only glanced up for a moment when Ash entered before dropping his gaze.

“What do you need, Ashton?”

“Do you have a moment?”

It must have been something in Ash’s voice that clued Tanner that this wasn’t going to be just a run-of-the-mill conversation. His whole body seemed to still except for his eyes—those drifted up slowly to meet Ash’s face.

Once their gazes locked, Tanner placed the paperwork on the desk along with his pen. He settled back in his chair with his hands on the armrests. “I was wondering when you’d be coming to talk to me about this.”

Ash gave the man a wry smile. “You don’t know what I’m here to talk to you about.” He couldn’t possibly know. The man was good at reading people, but Ash was still fairly new compared to some of the other guys who worked here.

Tanner arched a brow and nodded toward the couch that was situated against the wall. He didn’t speak right away. His gaze followed Ash from the moment he shut the door to when he took his seat on the edge of the cushion. His boss finally tilted forward in his seat, resting his forearms on the desk. “I wouldn’t be very good at my job if I didn’t pay attention to the moods of those who work for me. This job can be precarious not just because of its very nature, but because of the moods of those in my employ.”

Ash forced out a chuckle. He had been one of those moody individuals ever since he’d returned from the fire that had stolen his friend’s life.

Tanner didn’t laugh with him. He didn’t even crack a smile. The older man had years of experience in this field; the proof was in every line of his face. He had seen more than most, and hestill came to work every day. He was the kind of guy Ash looked up to—the kind of guy Ash could trust to give it to him straight.

Ash chuckled again, but this time it sounded more strained than before. “Okay. Sure. You might know what I came here to talk to you about. But that doesn’t mean you know where I stand.”

Tanner’s studious expression didn’t falter. He continued to stare at Ash thoughtfully. Then he nodded curtly. “Okay, you tell me what you’re here for.”

Ash squirmed under Tanner’s stare. As hard as he’d thought this was going to be, it was infinitely worse. He felt like he was giving up on something.

But that wasn’t true. He’d been thinking about this decision ever since Charlie had asked him to quit. She was more important to him than anything—including his job.

“I want to phase out of being a smoke jumper.” There. He’d said it—or rather spit it out. Before he could lose his nerve, he continued. “I don’t want to quit entirely. I’m not sure if you have room for me in another position, and I’m willing to wait until you do?—”

“I’ll make room.”

Ash stiffened, then relaxed almost all at once. “Sir?”

Tanner settled back in his seat once more. “You’re one of our best, Ash. And I can’t exactly let you go after you saved the life of one of our own, now can I?” A half-hearted sort of grin touched the man’s face. “I don’t know the full story, but I’ve heard a couple rumbles.”

Ash grimaced. He’d tried to keep his personal life more or less secret from the others. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to speak poorly of Charlie. He could handle the looks of disappointment they might give him if they found out he was bending to her will. He had his reasons.

But for them to judge Charlie when they didn’t know her? He wouldn’t stand for that. She’d lost so much in her life. He’d seen the effects of those losses first-hand, and he wasn’t about to let her feel like she was going to lose another person. He wanted to protect her in any way he could.

Tanner appraised him, that thoughtful expression still plastered on his face.

Ash looked down at his hands, unnerved by his boss’s scrutiny. Before he could try to explain himself, Tanner continued.

“Love is hard, isn’t it?”

Ash’s head snapped up.

Tanner tilted his head, his eyes full of sympathy. “But then, it was never meant to be easy. There’s a great deal of sacrifice that has to be made in order for it to survive. I like to compare it to a plant. Rather than food, water, and sunshine, Love needs sacrifice, patience, and selflessness to survive. Love isn’t about getting something in return. It’s about prioritizing someone else.”

Ash swallowed hard. Tanner’s words were a balm to his soul. A lesser man would have said that Charlie was being unreasonable and selfish—that she didn’t have any right to ask him to leave his job. He would have walked away from that sort of relationship, dusting off his hands and calling “good riddance.” Ash himself had fought against those thoughts and feelings in the beginning. He’d bounced from wanting to throw a tantrum to a pity party when he didn’t get what he wanted.

But Tanner’s words only solidified that Ash had come full circle. He’d made the right decision. While he wasn’t rolling over and walking away entirely, he was making a compromise he prayed Charlie would accept.

Swallowing hard and shifting in his seat, Ash nodded. “Sacrifice. That’s a good way to put it.”

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