Page 62 of Some Cowboys Brave the Flames

“Then I met Carter.” A flicker of sadness moved across Bailey’s face, but it mingled with a bittersweet smile. “It terrified me that he might be the same as my late husband. If he was willing to put me in that situation, I knew what I would be signing on for, and I wasn’t sure I could do it.”

“So why did you?” Charlie demanded. “If Carter was such a risk, then why…”

“Because I didn’t want to lose the good we had when we were together. And I could see that he was trying to be a better man.”

Face scrunching with confusion, Charlie shook her head. “I guess you’re a lot more understanding than I would have been.” Her face flushed, and she looked away. “I didn’t mean…”

Emma placed a hand on Charlie’s. “It’s okay. I can see why you would say that.”

Bailey nodded slowly. “Fortunately, your brother has done a lot to be better. He has realized that his behavior hurts more than just himself, and he’s working on it.”

“But Ash isn’t dealing with personal growth. It’s his job. He’s putting himself in danger every day when he knows that I can’t handle it.” Charlie’s voice trembled and she flushed deeper. She hated how selfish her words were making her out to be.

“Let me ask you one thing,” Emma said softly. “We all know that Ash is a good man. He’s not going to do anything to hurt you intentionally, right?”

Charlie nodded, her thoughts inadvertently running through several memories of them together. Their first kiss in the rain. Ash telling her she was perfect the way she was. He’d made himself absent during the remainder of her teenage years to protect her from himself. Then there was the time he’d saved her from that encounter with the stranger at the park. He’d taught her how to protect herself. Every single thing he did for her was out of love.

Her heart constricted.

She knew he loved her. He just hadn’t been able to leave his job for her—his only imperfection—and it could barely be called that.

Charlie forced herself to look Emma in the eye. She sighed and nodded again as she murmured, “He’s only ever made me feel safe.”

Emma nodded. “And you love who you are when you’re with him, right?”

It was getting even harder to fight the emotion that threatened at the back of her throat. She didn’t want to break down in front of these women. There was no way for her to escape if she did. Charlie would have to get her horse from where it was tied up in order to avoid that embarrassment.

Emma squeezed Charlie’s hand this time. “Let me ask you this, then. Let’s pretend that Ash agreed to quit his job, but something else tore him from your life. If you could only have him for five years–if you could only have him for a decade,would that make any difference? Knowing your lives would be cut short due to illness or an accident, would it change the way you feel about him? Would you push him away then?”

Her questions cut through Charlie like a sharp blade through flesh. Her whole body reacted, and she sucked in sharply. Her eyes darted to Bailey, whose first husband had died in a car accident. Bailey watched her intently.

If Charlie knew that Ash’s life would be cut short due to something out of his power, she’d still want to spend as much time as she could with him. She’d want to enjoy her life with him in whatever capacity she could. She let out a shuddering breath and a tear slipped from her cheek.

“I think I made a mistake.”

Emma’s smile didn’t tear at Charlie like she thought it might. It almost offered a degree of comfort as Charlie came to her realization.

Charlie swallowed hard and looked away. “I would still want to be with him,” she whispered.

Emma squeezed her hand once more. “I thought as much. There are certain people who come into our lives and make such a big difference that we can’t go on living without them. They leave their marks in any number of ways. I don’t want you to regret anything. If you feel that you can’t handle being with a man who might not come home, then perhaps you’re simply not ready for a relationship.”

Her words stung in spite of being the most truthful thing she might have said to Charlie during this conversation. Hadn’t she said this very thing herself? Somehow it felt different coming from Emma. Charlie was still young. She’d always considered herself more mature than those around her. But in this moment, she couldn’t deny that she’d made some very immature decisions.

The heat in her face threatened to set her on fire, and she couldn’t escape from it. She let out a sorrowful laugh. “What do I do now?”

Emma shrugged. “I guess that’s up to you and what you want. I can almost guarantee that you still have a chance to make things right with him. The worst thing that could happen is that Ash turns you down, right?”

Charlie nodded, a lump forming in her throat. Part of her wanted to believe that Ash would never push her away due to holding a grudge, but she couldn’t deny that he had every right to be wary of her. She swallowed again and again, but the lump wouldn’t go away.

She pulled her hand free of Emma’s and reached for her phone, disappointed to note that it had died. She hadn’t realized the battery was low when she’d gone on this trip. Emma didn’t miss the movement. She pushed her own phone across the table. “You can use mine.”

Charlie shook her head. “I’ll call him when we get back. It’ll give me a chance to organize my thoughts.” She forced a smile. “Thanks, though.”

27

Ash

Ash couldn’t believe what he was about to do. He had to be crazy. That’s what he would have called anyone who was about to do what he was doing right now.

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