Page 42 of Wanted

Breathing in deep, I fill my lungs with fresh air, trying to cool the blaze.

I’ve longed and ached for this for so long…

To have sky above me and the world, the real world, around me.

But I didn’t expect it to hurt so bad.

And something… something deep down inside me tells me this is only the beginning. That if I want to be free, truly free, I’m going to have to take a lot more pain.

“Come,” Father McCall says, tugging me down a step. “My car is right over there.”

Unable to see, everything around me a bright, searing white, I let him lead. Trusting he won’t lead me astray.

We move down two more steps then we’re running across hard ground. Using his hold on my hand, Father McCall leads me in a straight line before he tugs me to the right.

When I cut the turn too tight, something slams into the side of my ribs.

I cry out, and Father McCall immediately stops. “What’s wrong, lass?”

Blinking away the tears in my eyes, I look down. Everything is incredibly blurry and bright, but I believe I’m staring at a car mirror.

“Nothing, let’s keep moving,” I say.

Squeezing my hand, his hold my lifeline, Father McCall guides me forward.

“Can you see?” he asks.

“No,” I grumble, pressing my arm harder into my eyes to ease the searing ache.

I swear the fire is spreading to my exposed fingers.

Is my skin so sensitive I’m already getting a sunburn?

Father McCall doesn’t respond, but I sense him tense up, gripping my hand even tighter. Though I can’t tell if it’s out of empathy or concern…

I decide to change the subject to get my mind off the growing heat. “Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?” he asks, as if his mind is focused elsewhere.

“What you said to Sister Agatha.”

“That she’s a vicious old cow?” He chuckles. “Aye, I meant that.”

I find myself smiling in return and it feels… weird. Like I shouldn’t be doing it. Like I’m not worthy of such an action.

Unnerved by the sensation, I quickly clarify, “No, not that. The other thing you said.”

“About God looking upon everything he created and finding it good?”

“Yes,” I say, the word wanting to catch in my throat.

You’d think after living beneath a church, surrounded by nuns and priests for over a decade, someone would have read or encouraged me to read the Bible.

But the Bible the Order follows was always off limits to me.

I was not worthy to taint it with my hands or eyes.

Everything I know about God, about the Order’s doctrine, came from the mouth of Sister Agatha.

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