Page 211 of The Charlie Method

“That doesn’t sound entirely unappealing. I wasn’t locked on a particular location. All I wanted was to get away from here for a while. Breathe different air. Eat different food. See different people.”

“Would you come?” I ask, nudging Charlie with my foot.

She purses her lips. “My sister has a couple weeks’ vacation time she wanted to use this summer, and we were thinking of traveling somewhere together. Seoul maybe, but I don’t know if that’s a trip I want to take with Ava. But…New Zealand was one of the other places she threw out as a suggestion…”

My face lights up. “Do it.”

“But then I’ll have to explain to my sister why I’m kissing two different guys hello.” She bites her lip.

“Just kiss Larsen hello,” I say. I know they think it bothers me that he’s the “public face” of the relationship, as Charlie likes to call it. But it honestly doesn’t. The things I get to do to her in private make up for it. “Then when we’re alone, you can prove your love by kissing more than my mouth.”

Charlie grins. But it fades fast. “How would this work if we kept seeing each other after graduation?”

Her question brings an ache to my chest, because the way she phrased it reveals something I was afraid of.

She assumed it would end after graduation.

I suppose that’s a fair assumption, yet the idea of never seeing her again is physically painful. I’m obsessed with her. Ever since the truth about Shannon came out, it’s like something inside me has shifted. I’ve felt lighter. More willing to share things with Charlie and Will that I always kept buried.

I told them about how smart and kind Shannon was. That I don’t think about her as often as I used to but that when the memories do come, they’re agonizing. Bittersweet. But sometimes, they just make me smile.

I told them about all the plans Shannon and I made. How we wanted a big family someday. How I still want that big family.

But Charlie’s right. How the fuckisit going to work? I don’t even know where I’ll be. Neither does Charlie; she doesn’t know what grad school she’ll attend. And Will hasn’t decided if he’s traveling or accepting the job on that campaign.

“We’ll figure it out,” Will says in response to her question. That’s always his response. He seems to think stalling is a viable solution to this problem.

I glance back at my laptop just as Charlie says, “What about your plans, Beck?”

“I don’t really have any.”

“No? Because if you keep looking at jobs in Australia, we might start thinking you’ve got a secret plan to ditch us.”

I give her a half smile. “Nah. No plan to ditch you. But…I don’t know. Something about going back there feels right.”

“Wait, are you talking about more than just the summer?” Will’s tone sharpens. “Like a permanent move?”

I shrug, trying to keep it casual. “Maybe. I guess I’m thinking about it.”

“Are you serious?”

“I don’t know yet.”

I rake a hand over my beard, wishing I could shave the damn thing off already. But the team not only sailed through the playoffs, we’re playing in the Frozen Four tournament in Michigan next weekend. The guys will murder me if I shave the magic beard.

“I haven’t decided anything,” I assure them. “I’m honestly just looking.”

Charlie bites her lip. “What if you go to Australia and Will takes this job in DC? And then I end up in, I don’t know, Copenhagen for grad school.”

“Copenhagen?” he echoes in surprise. “Did you get into the program there?”

“No, I still haven’t received any acceptances other than MIT and Cornell.” She offers a dry laugh. “The two places I’d rather not attend. I’m just using it as an example. What if the three of us are spread all over the world, over three continents? Where does that leave us?”

The question hangs in the air, harboring an implication that none of us want to face.

Because we all know where that leaves us.

Alone. Single.

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