Page 36 of The Charlie Method

“What about you?” he asks, changing the subject. “You ever think about settling down?”

“Nah, not right now. But someday, I guess. When I’m older and wiser.”

“So never?” he cracks.

“Ha ha. I’m just saying, there’s no rush. I want to enjoy my life, have fun. But yes, eventually, I want something serious. Just gotta find the right girl.”

Case slides lower on the chaise, propping himself up on his elbows. He’s in one of his rare serious moods, the kind where he actually opens up instead of deflecting with jokes.

“So…uh…you and Beckett. You guys seem pretty close these days.”

I can’t help but laugh at his diplomatic tone. “Are you asking if I’m gay?”

He grins sheepishly. “It crossed my mind.”

“I’m not. But…” I hesitate for a second before continuing.

I’ve never spoken with Case about this stuff before. Ryder and Shane know because they’re Beckett’s boys, but I haven’t really talked to my own friends about it, the Briar crew before the Eastwood guys came over.

“Beck and I aren’t into each other like that, but sometimes we…share.” I shift awkwardly. “Women, that is. It’s just, ah, something we do.”

Case rolls his eyes at me. “No kidding. It’s not exactly a secret, you know. People talk.”

“It’s not something we advertise, but we don’t really hide it either. People can think what they want.”

He purses his lips in thought. “So no jealousy? No weirdness?”

“Nah,” I say, shaking my head. “It’s not like that. We both know what we’re getting into, and the girls do too. It’s just fun. No feelings, no drama.”

“As long as everyone’s cool with it, I guess.” But he wrinkles his forehead.

“What?”

“I don’t know. Just doesn’t seem like something you’d be okay with. You’re, like, the poster child for good boy.”

“I fought it for a while,” I confess. “I thought there was something wrong with me that I enjoyed that kind of stuff. But now I’m trying not to overthink it. Keeping things light, you know? No reason to complicate shit if you don’t have to.”

“Sure, but what about down the line? You ever think about how that’s going to work if you do settle down?”

I shrug as if it’s of no concern to me. But I’ve thought about it often. And it is.

Concerning, that is.

I don’t want to be single forever. Eventually I do want to settle down, get married. I don’t know how I feel about having kids—I’ve never really seen myself as a father. I don’t think fatherhood is something I’d be good at or enjoy. But I want the rest of it. I want a wife, a partner, someone to grow old with.

I suppose all I can do is hope that I’ll get this out of my system. The group sex. The excitement I feel when Beckett and I are teaming up to make a woman whimper with pleasure. I like having him there. I like it when he watches. I like it all.

Beckett doesn’t want a girlfriend, let alone marriage. The notion probably makes him nauseous. I’ve never been dumped, so I don’t know what it’s like, but I’ve also never loved a girl enough to care whether she dumped me.

I was shocked, not gonna lie, when I realized how deeply Beckett loved his ex. The guy was head over heels for her. Worshipped her for four years, his entire high school experience, and she ripped his heart out.

I don’t blame him for doing a one-eighty once he hit college. He’s a fuckboy now and utterly unapologetic about it. He doesn’t want to be in love. Doesn’t want a serious relationship.

But I’m not Beck. Idowant that. And I know that once I find someone, a woman I feel the same way about that Beckett felt about his ex, I can’t have my best friend be a fixture in our bedroom. No woman would ever be okay with that, and I wouldn’t fault her for it.

“I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it,” I finally say. “For now, I’m just enjoying life. I’m not in a hurry to figure everything out.”

“I hear you.” Case chuckles. “Honestly, I sort of admire the way you can keep things so simple. I’m over here still beating myself up over the past, and you’re out there living.”

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