Page 230 of The Charlie Method

“Exactly.”

“Does nobody in this franchise understand basic causality? Butterfly effect? You change one thing, andeverythingchanges. That’s Time Travel 101.”

Beckett chuckles, giving me a sideways glance. “Baby, stop talking about causality. I can’t concentrate if my dick is hard.”

I hoot with laughter. It’s Sunday night, and we’re lounging on the couch, halfway through this gloriously terrible time travel movie. On-screen, the main character just accidentally traveled back to 1985again, somehow changing the course of history by saving a dog.

Beckett reaches over and grabs a handful of popcorn from the bowl on the table, still grinning. “I gotta say, this might be the worst time travel movie I’ve ever watched. And that’s saying something, because I’ve seen a lot.”

“What about the one we watched last week where the guy could only travel back two minutes and somehow still managed to stop a nuclear war?”

“Oh, true. That one was special.”

I unpause the movie, and we make it about three whole minutes before I pause it again.

“Beck!” I whine.

The main character randomly reappeared in the same diner, in the exact same chair, for the third time.

“What?” he says, munching on another mouthful of popcorn.

“Am I just supposed to sit here and pretend that time dilation doesn’t exist? Because if time travel is possible—”

“I’m sorry, did you sayif?”

“—then you’d be dealing with time dilation and relativistic effects. If you’re moving through time, you’re also moving throughspace, right? So the earth is rotating, it’s orbiting the sun, the sun’s orbiting the galaxy. You’re not going to land in the same spot every time you go back. You could end up in the middle of space.”

“You’re right. It’s a travesty that this low-budget movie didn’t address all this.”

“And where’s the paradox resolution?” I say as if he hadn’t spoken. “There should at least be some catastrophic time loop or, I don’t know, an explosion of the universe.”

“Sugar puff. I say this with all kindness, but…I can’t believe I live with such a massive nerd.”

“Thank you.”

“Wasn’t a compliment.”

“You said it was with kindness!”

“I fucking lied.”

There’s a sudden knock on the door.

We both freeze for a moment, glancing at each other.

“Were you expecting anyone?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “Nope. And nobody buzzed in downstairs.”

“Maybe it’s a murderer.”

“Why was there hope in your voice when you said that?” Chuckling, Beckett stands up and cracks his knuckles. “I’ll go check it out alone. You know, just in case itisa murderer. That way, at least you’ll have a chance to escape. I’ll heroically sacrifice myself.”

“That’s so noble of you.”

“I live to serve.” He winks at me as he heads for the hallway.

I listen to his footsteps. I hear the door open. And then…there’s nothing.

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