Page 105 of The Chase

His brown eyes widen. “What—”

“Isn’t that what it boils down to?” I cut in, bitterness staining my tone. “I’m not someone you want to spend time with.”

“That’s not true.”

“Fine. I’ll amend that. I’m okay to hook up with, but I don’t deserve a conversation about it afterward.”

“Stop saying those words,” he growls. “Worthy. Deserve. That’s not what this is about.”

“What’sthis?” I burst out, my frustration levels skyrocketing. “Seriously, Fitz. Whatisthis? You rub up against me outside Malone’s, and then you drive away. I get on my knees for you in the locker room, and then you disappear for two days. I have no clue how you feel about me at all. So forgive me for assuming that you don’t want me.” My mouth twists in a humorless smile. “Why would I ever think that, right?” Sarcasm creeps into my voice. “I mean, a guy runs for the hills after I blow him. That means he’s super into me, right?”

Guilt flickers in his eyes at the mention of the blowjob. But he remains maddeningly silent.

I grind my molars together. Soon they’ll turn to dust, that’s how pissed off I am. “I have a date with Hunter this weekend,” I find myself declaring.

That gets me a response. A muscle in his jaw twitches, and then he mutters, “Since when?”

“He asked me last week.” I hit the key fob to unlock my car. “And you want to know why I said yes? Because it was really frigging nice to be asked on a date by someone who isn’t, I don’t know, ashamed of me.”

Fitz exhales slowly before speaking. “I’m not ashamed of you,” he murmurs. “I’m just…”

“You’re what?”

“I’m bad at expressing myself.”

“Bullshit. You’re the most articulate person I know.”

“Not when it comes to sharing feelings.” He sounds as discouraged as I feel.

“Feelings? Oh, you mean you have those?”

Every muscle in his face goes taut. It’s the only outwardlydiscernible sign that my accusation upset him. His expression is completely shuttered. “I’m not good at this shit, Summer.” The words are hoarse, strained.

“Good at what?” I clench my fists in exasperation. “It’s not that hard, Colin! You either want to be with me, or you don’t.” My fingers tremble on the door handle. “So which is it?”

He hesitates.

He actually hesitates.

A ball of hurt clogs my throat. I gulp it down best as I can. “Wrong answer,” I mutter, and then I get in my car and slam the door.

22

SUMMER

AFEW DAYS AGO, FITZ WAS THE ONE AVOIDING ME. NOWwe’re avoiding each other.

If he’s in the living room with Hollis and Hunter, then I’m in my bedroom. If I’m in the kitchen, then he’s somewhere else. Our townhouse turns into a pathetic game of Musical Chairs: The Room Edition, as we do everything in our power not to share the same space or breathe the same air.

But maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe I shouldn’t be anywhere near him. Because when I am, I’m either touching his dick or sucking it, and I refuse to let that happen again.

As usual, Fitz and the guys have already left for practice by the time I’m ready to head to campus. I have another check-in with Hal Richmond this morning. Yay. Fun times. Can’t wait.

I drive to Briar and park behind the admin building, but I don’t get out of the car yet. I’m fifteen minutes early, and damned if I’m going to spend any extra time with Froghole. Instead, I crank the heat, load up an old playlist, and start singing along to One Direction’s “No Control.”

I’m still humming the same song ten minutes later on the way to the dean’s offices. Man, why did 1D ever break up? They were so frigging magical.

“Get back together already,” I moan, at the same time that a dark-haired girl rounds the hall corner.

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