Page 91 of The Score

“You just lost touch?”

“I guess you can say that.” I exhale slowly, hoping to ease the tightness in my chest. “She’s the reason Coach O’Shea hates me, actually. Miranda’s his daughter.”

“Uh-oh. You dated your coach’s daughter?” Allie takes on a chiding tone. “Oh, sweetie, that’slike rule number one in the dating handbook—never date the kid of your authority figure.”

“Do I look like someone who follows the rules?” My answering grin fades rapidly. “I couldn’t help it,” I admit. “At the time, Miranda was pretty fuckin’ awesome. Impossible to resist. She attended Greenwich Prep for free because Frank coached there, so she wasn’t a rich kid. She was completely different from the girls I’d always gone to school with. She didn’t give a shit about image or being the Queen B, didn’t shame other people to make herself feel better. She was down-to-earth. Funny. Hot.”

“Well, duh. Dean Heyward-Di Laurentis only bangs hotties.”

“I didn’t bang her. At least, not right away. It took a long time to get there, but I wasn’t in any hurry.” I wink. “We had fun doing other stuff.”

“So when did you do the deed?”

“A couple months before we broke up.” My shoulders stiffen again. I hate thinking about that night.

Allie senses it, because her tone becomes wary. “What happened?”

Fuck, why did I even open this door? “About nine months into the relationship, things got…intense.” And why am I even answering the question? “Miranda started talking about us staying together when we went to college, which was never part of the deal.”

“Wait—did O’Shea know at this point? That you were dating his daughter?”

“Yeah, he knew. He wasn’t thrilled, but he said as long as Miranda was happy, he was happy. Didn’t stop him from giving me grief about it, though. I’d pick her up for a date and he’d interrogateme about where we were going, who would be there, when we’d be back. And one time he threatened to shoot my balls off if I didn’t treat her with respect.”

“My father gave Fletch the same speech when we started dating. Trust me, it’s a dad thing.” Allie’s laughter dies off. “So Miranda was talking about college…?”

“All the time, and it really fucking worried me because we were on the same page going into the relationship. I didn’t want to do the long-distance thing in college. I saw my brother and his ex-girlfriend go through it, same with a few buddies who graduated the year before. They spent their freshman year holding on to something they should’ve just let go. The phone calls got less frequent, the visits stopped, the jealousy and insecurity set in. Worrying about what the other person was up to, who they might be hooking up with. I didn’t want that, and neither did Miranda. She was planning on going to Duke. I was planning on Briar or Harvard. We both agreed that if we were still together by the time graduation rolled around, we would end it.”

“But she changed her mind?”

“Yup. It was subtle at first. She’d talk about something we were going to do in the future, I’d remind her it probably wouldn’t happen, and she’d laugh it off and say she forgot. But then she got…clingy. She’d call like ten times a day, and suddenly she was paranoid I was cheating on her. I wasn’t, by the way—I’ve never cheated on anyone I made a commitment to.”

“So you ended it? No, wait, first you had sex with her.”

I hear the accusation in Allie’s tone, and I can’t deny it hits its mark. “Yeah. I did.” My mouth runs dry. I try to swallow. “Miranda was with this other guy for two years before she went out with me. When we started dating, she told me she’d had sex before.”

“Oh no,” Allie murmurs. “I don’t like where this is going.”

“We were at a party, and she was acting all clingy again, not letting me talk to anyone, refusing to let go of my hand. She even followed me into the fucking bathroom. I was frustrated and angry, and I started pounding beers because it was the only way to pass the time. She didn’t want to leave, but she also wouldn’t leave my side. I was actually considering breaking up with her right then, and I guess she sensed it because next thing I know she’s dragging me upstairs.” Regret throbs inside me. “I was disgustingly wasted, not to mention seventeen and horny, so I wasn’t exactly fighting her off. We had sex. And then afterward, she admitted she was a virgin.”

“Shit.”

“If I’d known, I would have been more…I don’t know, careful? Gentler? I was sloppy drunk and she got a sloppy lay. For herfirsttime, Allie. I felt like a total ass the next day, but Miranda wasn’t mad. She said she felt closer to me than ever, and after that, it was like DEFCON level clinginess. Suddenly she was planning college visits and saying how we should think about getting engaged, that a stronger commitment would make it easier to stay true to each other.” My stomach churns just thinking about it. I hadn’t even turned eighteen at that point.

“So like any teenage boy would, you freaked out and ended it.”

I nod.

She sighs. “I don’t blame you. I’m sure anyone would feel overwhelmed in that situation.”

“Maybe. But…Miranda didn’t handle the breakup too well,” I confess, fighting the nausea clawing at my gut. “Turns out she’d dealt with depression in the past, but she never told me about it. I never would’ve guessed either, because she was so happy and easygoing all the time. But I found out that’s because of the meds she was taking. The meds shestoppedtaking after I ended it.”

“Shit,” Allie says again.

“She changed completely. She was crying all the time, screaming at me in the halls, calling me in the middle of the night threatening to kill herself. I had no choice but to involve her dad, because I was terrified she might actually commit suicide. Frank pulled her out of school after that, and I haven’t seen or heard from her since.”

Allie’s jaw drops. “Are you serious?”

“Frank wouldn’t allow it.” The frustration I felt back then rises again now. “He told me Miranda was back on her meds and getting professional help. Oh, and that if I ever tried to contact her again, he would rip my throat out. That didn’t stop me from worrying about her. I mean, I still cared about her even though we were broken up, so about a month after she left school, I cornered Coach in the parking lot and demanded to see Miranda.” My jaw twitches. “And he punched me in the face.”

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