Page 48 of All That She Needs

Ugh."Where in this room youhaven'tfucked her? That's where I'll sit."

The color drained from his face. And as expected, he didn't know how to answer me.

"I guess the answer is none." I sighed. That disgust swirling in my chest morphed into pain. My heart hurt all over again. "Forget it. You probably fucked her on top of that side table, even though it's the size of my purse."

Feeling defeated, I stomped away and chose one of the sofas. Unluckily for me, both were three-seaters, so, of course, Aiden sat next to me. He looked at me warily but was unable to say a thing.

My eyes scanned the room as my thoughts spiraled. "I remember the last time I was here. She was standing right there, looking at me with so much fear, like someone was caught stealing. Well, shedidsteal my husband. I was certain she was feeling intimidated by me. And for a brief moment, I felt a twisted sense of power over her."

Aiden took my hand, and I let him. He squeezed a little as if he wanted to draw strength, and I didn't know if it was for me or if it was for himself. "But then, that guilt in her eyes... it suddenly hit me with a different level of pain. It suddenly became real. And I wasn't ready to accept it. Much later, I realized too late that the feeling of power was just a joke. I was embarrassing myself. From the beginning, she had won. And I lost."

"Asha," His voice was small. Laden with shame. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying sorry. And please shut the fuck up." I snapped, pulling my hand from his grip. "Let me get this out of my chest."

"Okay." He sounded dejected and rubbed his face with both hands.

"I couldn't understand whyher.Honestly, I saw nothing special about her. She was pretty sure. She has curves, sure. But there was nothing outstanding about her. So, I thought, it must be the sex. She was young. Twenty-five, right? Must be so nice. Especially compared to this old woman." I pointed at myself.

"But then I was wrong again. That kind of obsession you had with her could not be just because of sex. It's because you really loved her. That young girl, who seemed unremarkable to me, could turn your world entirely upside down. Because to you, she was everything. It gave me a new perspective about myself. And I saw myself in a different light. All my success, all my attempts to make you happy, were all fucking pointless. I was simply not enough. It ruined my self-esteem, you know. To this day, I'm still working on getting it back."

Aiden didn't respond this time. But his knuckles turned white as he gripped the edge of the sofa tightly.

"I cried every night you came home late, Aiden. Every time you went away on a business trip. Or business dinner. Every time you hid yourself in your office so you could call her, because you just couldn't stop missing her. I knew you were lying. I knew you rushed to her every time you had a chance. Over time, I became numb. I could compartmentalize what to feel and what not to. And I just... let you be. Somehow, I convinced myself that as long as you came back to me, thatwould be enough." I rested my head on the back of the sofa and looked at him. My hand reached up to cup his cheek, the stubble prickling my palm nicely. I always loved the feeling. I loved it when he left his stubble enough for me to run my hands through it. "I loved you that much."

His eyes were full of self-hatred and guilt. He whispered, "It's not past tense, Asha. You still love me. And I love you. We can still be together."

"I do love you." I gave him a small smile. I would not deny that. "I don't think I'll ever stop. But that doesn't mean it's what I want."

"What do you want, Ash?" I could sense the fear in his voice. His jaw locked tight, and the muscles in his arms tightened. He was probably reluctant to ask, but he knew he needed to know the answer.

"I want to be strong again, Aiden. I want to go back to being the woman I was before all of this. I need to set an example for Chloe. Just because we're women, and yes, we're soft, doesn't mean we let anyone walk all over us. We deserve someone who supports us, respects us, loves us and only us. I want her to know she should never settle for anything less."

I paused, taking a moment to gather myself. "As for Kayden, I hope he learns what a real partnership looks like. Where both people support each other, not just take or settle. He's seen a terrible example in us, and I want him to be more careful in choosing who he gives his heart to. Knowing that there are strong women like his mother, his sister, out there—women he shouldn't mess with or take for granted."

I framed his face with both hands, wishing I could wipe away the devastation and guilt written all over it. But he needed to hear this. I wasn't saying it to hurt him. This wasjust the plain, raw truth. "Oh, Aiden." My heart broke seeing the weariness so deeply profound on his face. I leaned over and kissed his lips gently, briefly. His eyes fluttered closed. "That's why I have to do this. Not just for me, but for them, too."

"Asha, please." He dropped his head, his hands clutching my wrists that were cradling his face. He had already guessed what I was about to say.

I pulled away from him, needing the distance as otherwise I wouldn't have the strength to speak. "My lawyer will serve you the divorce papers. I will not change my mind, Aiden. And I'm not asking for much. Just the house we live in now, and for you to keep our children's trust fund and inheritance exactly as it is. Even if you have another child someday, you'll need to work around that without touching what Kayden and Chloe have already been promised."

Aiden was silent. A flash of real, raw hurt crossed his face. He took it like a blow he saw coming, but still wasn't ready for. I took a deep breath. "As for custody, I will not take the kids away from you. I know how much you love them; they also need their father. We'll work out joint custody, but whether they want to see you—that's going to be up to them."

"You can have everything I have, Asha. All our houses, all the money I have in the bank, even this company..." Aiden's hand trembled as he covered his mouth, shaking his head. "I'll give up everything, just to have you and our children with me."

"Your children aren't going anywhere, Aiden." I forced a faint smile even as my eyes burned with unshed tears. "I'm not going anywhere either."

"But you will not be mine anymore."

"No. But our lives will always be tied together. We have our kids."

He softly grazed my cheek with his knuckles and let out a long breath. "You know it's not the same."

"Yeah," I said sadly. "It's not."

"I'm sorry." Aiden began to sob quietly, covering his face with trembling hands. "I'm so sorry."

I sighed. "Saying sorry won't change anything, Aiden. You've said it enough. The only thing you can do now is prove yourself to the kids. Earn their respect again. Show them how much you love them."

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