Page 77 of All That She Needs

Yeah. I did. That feeling was still there, as intense and unrelenting as ever, refusing to let go no matter how much I tried to ignore it.

I closed my eyes and pressed a hand to my chest, as if that could calm the pounding beneath it. No matter how hard I tried to bury it, to convince myself to let her go, that feeling clung to me, raw and unyielding.

Because, really, she'd never left.

Why had I been like this? Why did I have to fall for another woman? Why couldn't I just be a good husband, a good father, and not turn into this despicable man who just couldn't stop himself?

The questions spiraled through my mind like a relentless storm. It felt like being lost in a haze, unable to see clearly or find my way out. I had made promises—to myself, to Asha, to my kids—and now, I felt like I was faltering, and it was all because ofone message. Fromher. And I hadn't even done anything about it yet.

Why couldn't I be satisfied with what I had? Why did love have to be so complicated? The guilt weighed heavily on me. I should have been the one who made it work, who fought harder for my family. Instead, there I was, yearning for someone who wasn't mine anymore, lost in a sea of what-ifs and regrets.

How could my family forgive someone like me? I felt beyond forgiveness, lost in a pit of my own making. The magnitude of my mistakes loomed over me like a dark cloud, and I couldn't shake the belief that I didn't deserve a second chance.

Another text message came in, and for a brief moment, I thought it was from Vanessa again. Instead, it was from Roy:"Kayden asked me to drive him to your office. Will be there in thirty minutes."

The message pulled me from my spiraling thoughts, and I perked up instantly. Kayden hadn't spoken to me properly for months—only a grunt or two whenever I tried to engage him. Each time I reached out, he would turn away. His silence cut deep, a constant reminder of my failures as a father.

But the thought awakened me. Reminding me of the promise I made to myself.

I had made my choice, fully aware that it would leave me grappling with the emptiness of losing the two women I had ever truly loved. There was nothing I could do to change that reality, no undoing the pain I'd caused or the consequences I now faced. All I could do was bear it, accept that it was my burden to carry, make peace with the hurt in my heart that would never go away, and find a way to move forward—one step at a time.

Kayden and Chloe are my family, and I love them dearly. Even Asha remains family, even though not like it used to. I couldn't give up on Kayden, no matter how harsh he was with me. I loved him. He was my son, and I would fight for him, no matter how challenging it got. The possibility that he might actually want to talk today sparked a small flicker of hope in me. I couldn't let this chance slip away.

But what did Kayden want to talk to me about? Why had he come all the way here when I visited the house every morning? He could've talked to me there.

As the minutes ticked by, a mix of anticipation and dread churned in my stomach. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself for whatever was coming. I counted the minutes, feeling each second stretch out, and when I estimated he would be arriving soon, I made my way down to the ground-floor lobby to wait for him.

I caught sight of the car approaching the main entrance through the glass wall. It came to a stop, and my son stepped out, stretching to his full height. Still wearing his school uniform, he looked tall and lean, radiating health and vitality. My son was strikingly good-looking, destined to grow into an even more handsome man. As he walked across the lobby toward me, with his hands in his pants' pockets, I noticed severalpeople doing a double take at the sight of him, clearly captivated by his presence.

Kayden didn't visit my office often, and the last time he had come, he hadn't experienced his growth spurts yet. In the past year, his physique had transformed dramatically, making it hard to reconcile the little boy he once was with the young man walking towards me. I imagined that people who had met him before would barely recognize him now.

He stopped in front of me and gave me a nod, "Dad," he said quietly.

Just to hear him call me "Dad" made my heart swell. He didn't say it with disdain like he had lately.

"Kayden," I smiled at him, wanting so much to leap forward and pull him into a hug.

"Can we go somewhere private to talk?" His voice was deep and low, and I sensed an undercurrent of tension.

"Sure." I searched his face for a clue but found none. At such a young age, Kayden had already mastered the art of the poker face. "We can use my office."

"Okay," he replied, his expression still unreadable.

We walked toward the elevator, and a few people greeted me along the way. I returned their nods and smiles, while Kayden offered only a subtle nod and a slight smile of his own. It was a small gesture, but I noticed that he had become more guarded, maintaining his distance even as he acknowledged those around us.

The atmosphere felt heavy with tension, at least to me, as we stepped into the elevator, the doors sliding shut with a soft thud behind us.

"How's school?" I asked, trying to make a conversation, after we both turned around to face the door.

"As usual," he replied, his tone casual. "Nothing special."

"How about basketball?"

"We won again last competition. Just a friendly match between schools."

I sucked in a breath. No one had told me he'd had a competition. I would have been there if I'd known. But he didn't realize that I wanted to be there, probably because I had disappointed him too many times. I needed to fix that real soon.

That's great, son." I clasped his shoulder, and he winced slightly before quickly schooling his expression to neutral. I couldn't tell which had caused the reaction—my touch or the fact that I called him 'son.' Either way, it twisted my chest with pain.

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