Page 41 of All That She Needs

They just stared. Didn't say a word or make a move. Somehow, that hurt more than if they had punched me. Asha stood behind them, watching me with worry. I caught her gaze and shook my head. She needed to stay out of this.

After a long, suffocating silence, I pleaded. "Please. Say something."

"What do you want me to say?" Mason finally spoke. The fork he had been holding dropped to the plate with a loud clang. "That you're a despicable human being and a selfish asshole? You want us to hit you, make it hurt? What do you expect after that? You think we'll just fucking forget it all and go back to the way things were?"

He let out a bitter chuckle. "You don't even deserve to breathe in the same space as my sister, so why should we waste our energy making you feel better? Because that's all it'll do—makeyoufeel better. Max and I will just hate you even more. And we'll make our sister worry. She's already been hurt so much. It's not worth it."

Max added in a calm, quiet voice, "There's a point where some things go beyond redemption. And you, you've crossed that line. You don't exist anymore in our lives."

I was speechless. I truly didn't expect that. I thought they would scream at me, hit me, and make me bleed. I didn't know what to do against this silence. It was like they had given up. They had erased me from their lives. My throat started to close, and I felt myself shaking.

Max and Mason pushed back from their stools, stood up, and, without another word, walked toward the double doors leading to the garden and sat there on the terrace, facing away from me.

"Aiden," I heard Asha's voice. Small and concerned.

Fuck.I couldn't speak. I leaned over, both hands gripping the edge of the kitchen island as tightly as I could, trying to anchor myself to something. It was so hard. Everything was so hard. There might be no chance for me to make things right. Not anymore. Max was right. I crossed the line so far thatI tripped over the edge and leaped to my death. I felt lost, like no matter how hard I tried to hold on, I was already too far gone.

I didn't need to look to know Asha was beside me—I could sense her presence, and it soothed me. She always had that effect on me. "Will I ever be forgiven, Asha?" I asked quietly.

She sighed. "Think of your children. They need you, even Kayden. Even if he tried hard not to show it. Don't give up on them."

I turned to her and found her looking at me with concern. After everything I'd done, after breaking her heart and hurting her, she still cared so much. "How about you? Will you forgive me?"

Her green eyes glazed over as she looked at me, then she gave a faint smile. She stepped closer, rising on her toes to kiss my cheek. I closed my eyes tightly at the feeling. When she pulled away, I wanted to grab her and stop her from leaving. I wanted that kiss again and the solace it gave me. I was desperate to hear her say that she'll forgive me.

"Tomorrow is Saturday. Maybe we can have dinner at Luca's with the kids. It's been a while since we went there," Asha said softly. "I'll ask them if they're up for it."

Asha was a saint. I couldn't comprehend how her heart could still be so gentle, how she could offer me this. My eyes stung, overwhelmed with emotion. "Thank you," I whispered.

She gave me a small nod, and then I heard Chloe barreling down the stairs, shouting, "Dad!"

My emotions were already a wreck, and when my little angel flew into my arms, crashing into my embrace, I couldn't hold it in any longer. Tears spilled over as I buried my face in the top of her head, trying to swallow my sobs. But Chloe felt my shoulders shake, my chest heave. She pulled back slightly, andwhatever she saw on my face made her whisper, "I'll always love you, Dad. I promise. Okay?"

Oh, God. I was hopeless. I cried silently. My tears flowing freely. She got her mother's forgiving heart, and I was glad. Glad that she didn't take her personality from human trash like me. I whispered back to her. "I love you, my little angel. I will not hurt you ever again."

She nodded, smiling, but she wasn't crying. Her gaze was strong, a strength she surely inherited from Asha, as if she was silently telling me that whatever I do, she would still love me. I looked up and saw Kayden standing next to his mom, watching me and his sister.

"Son," I choked when I saw his eyes glowing with tears. My hand reached out to him. "Come here."

His head dropped in between his shoulders. He shook his head and said quietly. "I can't." Then he turned around and walked towards the front door, walking away from me.

Chloe released herself from me. "He needs his breakfast. I'll grab some muffins for him." She said, while I stared at my son's retreating back. When he disappeared behind the closed door, Chloe had already walked to follow him with a bottle of water and two banana muffins in her hands. "Bye, Daddy."

"See you tomorrow, my angel."

That Saturday evening, I was ready early. I had already showered, after spending hours writing notes of what topic I would discuss with them. I was incredibly excited to sit down for dinner with my family, a chance to mend things and to be together again. Even though I knew it wouldn't be easy, I was ready to make the effort. For the first time since this nightmare began, I felt hopeful.

I promised myself I would pay more attention to them this time. Tonight was going to be about them. I would show them I could be the head of the family they deserve.

Just as I was about to head out of the apartment, my phone buzzed. It was Chloe. My heart sank a little before I even opened the message. I had a bad feeling about this. And I was right. She told me that Kayden didn't want to come to dinner. He wasn't ready yet. She wanted to come, she said, but this time, she had to side with her brother. He needed her support, and she couldn't leave him alone.

I looked at the screen, and the excitement I had a moment ago quickly disappeared. I couldn't blame her or Kayden, but that didn't make it any easier to accept.

The feeling of insecurity rushed back, overwhelming me all over again. A sense of hopelessness settled in and pressed down on me. I slid my coat off my shoulders and threw it haphazardly somewhere that I didn't bother to look, kicked off my shoes and headed to the kitchen. I was drawn to the cabinet where a row of liquor bottles stood neatly arranged. A collection I had been accumulating too quickly over the past few days. My gaze landed on the one closest to me. Without a second thought, I grabbed the bottle, unscrewed the cap, and took a long swig straight from the neck. The burn of the alcohol was very much welcomed, scorching my mouth, my throat, my chest. But it wasn't painful enough, not torturous enough. I craved more. I deserved more pain. So I took another swig. And another. And another.

Before long, I passed out, and the chaos of the world faded away.

Part 22: Asha

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