"Asha, where will I go?"
She sat up abruptly, frowning at me. "I don't care where, Aiden," she snapped. "You need to go. We're over. Your son doesn't want you here either. You might as well go to her, seeing that's what you always wanted, right? There's no one stopping you now."
I sat up, rubbing my face with my hands, feeling utterly dejected and helpless. "This is where I belong. With you. Wherever you are, that will be my home."
She stared at me, a mix of confusion and disbelief swirling in her green eyes. "I don't understand, really. How is it so easy for you to say all those things when your actions have been the complete opposite?"
I had no answer to that. Because she was right. But at this moment, I meant what I said with all my heart. Asha was my home.
"We're getting a divorce, Aiden. I can't do this anymore with you. Although I know this house is in your name, our kids love living here, and I won't hurt them by moving somewhere else. They will stay with me, Aiden. I will fight for that tooth and nail, and I will win. They will not be living withher."
"I will not be living with her either," I muttered, burying my face in my hands.
"Please go, Aiden." She began pleading. "You need to go."
My eyes met hers, and I saw the sadness reflected in me. This was hard for her too; it broke her as well. I had done this to her. My disappointment at myself surged back, all-consuming, and I slumped like a deflated balloon, drained and defeated.
I should go. I needed to go. I had to get my shit together first and make a plan. This separation was only temporary because I was determined to fix this. Right now, both of us were too emotional to think clearly. I wouldn't be able to persuade her in my current pathetic state, and she wouldn't be able to think beyond getting me out of her face as quickly as possible. I needed to prove myself to her, to Kayden, and it needed to be done meticulously and patiently.
"Okay, I'll go," I said brokenly. "For now, I'll go. I will give you time and space." I shifted to the edge of the bed, placing my feet on the wooden floor one by one. Slowly. Painfully. "But I will be back, Asha. I will fight for you. For our family."
"There is no moreus, Aiden. There's nothing more you can say. Accept that."
Fuck. It hurt like hell hearing her say that, but I steeled myself and shook my head. "We'll never be over, Asha. Evenwhen I was blind to how much I fucked up, I always knew in my heart that I'd never let you go."
With that, I walked away from her. I kept walking, refusing to look back. Because if I did—if I saw her face—I knew I would run back, begging her not to leave me.
Downstairs, I found my children in the kitchen, sitting side by side at the breakfast table. Kayden had just finished buttering a toast and handed it to his sister, a glass of milk already sitting in front of her. He's such a thoughtful boy, loving his sister and his mom, always looking out for them, and taking care of them. My son was a much better person than me. I didn't deserve him. I didn't deserve any of them.
Kayden's eyes found me, and the scowl that transformed his face was instant. He loathed me. I reminded myself that I deserved it. I deserved to be punished. But I still walked over to him, determined that nothing would deter me from showing my family that I love them. I hugged my son from the side, feeling him stiffen, wanting to push me away. I only tightened my hold. "I'm sorry," I whispered to him, words I hadn't managed to say last night, too shocked to do anything. "For everything I put you through. I'll win you back. I'll earn your forgiveness. I promise you that. I'll prove it to you."
I kissed his temple and reluctantly released him. When I turned to Chloe, I saw her eyes already glistening with tears. It dawned on me that she knew, too. She knew why I needed to leave. "Oh, my little angel." My heart shattered all over again. I pulled her into my arms, holding her as tightly as I could, whispering over and over how sorry I was. How could I have missed this? Was I really so blind, so selfish, that I never noticed how deeply I was hurting them? My actions had broken our family, piece by piece, and only now was I realizing the full extent of the damage I'd caused. I should have protected them,loved them, cared for them, but instead, I became the villain that they had to protect themselves from.
"I need to go for a while," I told them, swallowing the lump in my throat. "But I'll be back, okay? I'll be back when I deserve it." I continued, my voice thick with emotion, "I promise you I'll work for it. I'll do whatever it takes to make things right. I know I've failed you, but I won't give up. Not on you, not on us. I'll prove that I can be the father you both deserve."
I looked at their faces one last time, trying to memorize every detail. I would miss them so much. It would kill me to be away from them.
As I turned around and walked toward the front door, every step made my guilt grow heavier. Then, just as I reached the threshold, I heard it—a soft, heart-wrenching sob from behind me. Chloe. The sound sliced through me like a knife. I paused, my hand gripping the doorknob, the urge to turn back nearly overwhelming. I closed my eyes, swallowed hard, and pushed the door open, letting the morning light spill in. I knew that staying would only prolong the pain for everyone.
Taking one last look at my broken home, I left the house, knowing it was the right thing to do. I had to face the consequences of my mistakes and begin the long and uncertain road back to salvation.
Part 14: Asha
When I heard the front door close, I knew Aiden had finally left the house. I took a long, hard shower, the warm water streaming over me as I sobbed uncontrollably. I cried the most heart-wrenching cries, desperate and painfully raw, and I hoped the sound of the water would drown out my sobs.
After showering, I felt marginally better, but as I checked myself in the mirror, I winced at the sight. My face was swollen, and my eyes were red and bloodshot. I sighed, disheartened by my reflection. I looked horrible. Knowing I couldn't face a day like this, I decided to put on a little makeup and take the day off from work. I needed a moment to regroup.
Sitting in front of my vanity mirror, I texted Dennis, telling him I would take a few days off. His reply was instant, saying,Mr. Super Asshole is beside himself. He's already here, waiting for you, sitting in front of me with knees bouncing like crazy and chewing his bottom lip [kissy lips emoji]. Even though it's adorable as fuck, I had to send him away. He's making me agitated. And I was tired of fighting the urge to grab his disgustingly pretty face and tug those lips with my teeth.
I couldn't help but chuckle. Dennis always had a way of making me laugh, no matter how bleak things seemed. Another ping followed almost immediately.Are you okay? I should've asked that first before rambling about his lips [eye-roll emoji]. Are you not feeling well? Do I need to worry?
I was about to text him back, saying that I was fine, but he was already texting me again.Don't you dare say you're fine again, Asha? Or I'll have that word erased from the dictionary.
“But I am fine.”I texted back. Then I changed my mind."Okay, I'm not fine."
And with that, my phone immediately rang. Before I could even say anything, Dennis was already screeching over the speaker. "What? Why? What happened?"
"Dennis," I pinched the bridge of my nose and held the phone farther from my ear. "It's too early for you to be breaking my eardrum."