Page 27 of All That She Needs

"Asha," he whispered my name with such agony, covering his face with his hands as if to shield himself from the weight of his own remorse.

"What does she have that I don't, Aiden?" I asked brokenly. "Why wasn't I enough?"

"I–" He shook his head. "It wasn't like that."

"But you love her more than me. You're so obsessed with her. You couldn't stop chasing her. You begged her. You didn't think I knew about that, did you?" Aiden lowered his hands from his face and turned to me, his expression a blend of guilt and shock. Shock that I knew that much.

"I'm sorry. I know no matter how many times I say it, it won't be enough. But I am so deeply sorry, Asha. I'm so sorry for hurting you."

"You love her so much. She was everything to you," I said, more to myself than to him. I pressed my hand over my chest and squeezed the skin beneath my shirt until it hurt. "That broke me the most."

He didn't deny any of it. He didn't fucking say anything to deny it. Instead, he took my hand, which was pressing my chest, and brought it to his lips. "I love you more than life, Asha. You must fucking believe that. I don't know what else to say, but I'm going to prove it to you. I won't make the same mistake again."

"But it's too late, Aiden." I wiped my tears with my free hand, my chest rising and falling with the sobs that shook me. I took a deep breath to gain a miniscule of composure and exhaled. "It's too late now. I can't do this anymore." He was sobbing now and shook his head frantically, but there were no words that he could say. "Kayden said that you'll be happier if you're with her. I think he's right. Will you be happier with her, Aiden?"

"I'm happiest here, with you. With Kayden and Chloe. I'm happier with you."

"You don't really believe that, Aiden." I sighed. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be running off to her whenever you had the chance."

"All I ask, Asha, is for another chance. Just one more." His eyes bore into mine, shining with his regrets, with his remorse. But all I could think was that they were all lies. "I will prove it to you. I'll devote my entire life to you. I promise I'll fix this. I'll make you happy again."

"That should be given, don't you think? As a husband, a father, that is what you're supposed to do. But you failed us."

"Asha, please."

"I didn't know why I stayed, knowing your heart wasn't with me anymore." I was emotionally drained. My heart felt utterly crushed. "I felt so pathetic. How could I keep holding on to you when you'd already let go?"

This conversation was going nowhere, just circling back to the same pain. The longer I let him speak, seeing him beg, the more I felt my resolve slipping, and I couldn't do that. Not anymore.

"Aiden, I know you're only staying out of guilt. You feel obligated as a husband and father to fix all this colossal mess you created. But you don't need to make some grand sacrifice by choosing us over her. Imagine how miserable you'll be waking up to me instead of her every day for the rest of your life." I knew I was being sarcastic, but I was hurting too much to even care.

"There's no point anymore. The kids and I have survived without you for months. Because even though you're here, you're never reallyhere.You didn't spend time with us. Either you were moping around the house—Kayden's words, not mine, or lock yourself in your office, or you'd be running off after her the moment she responded to you."

From the look on his face, it was clear Aiden had never seen things from our perspective. He had been too caught up in his own world to even consider it. His focus was always on his own feelings, too self-centered to realize the impact his actions had on us.

"So, we'll be fine without you," I continued, exhaustion washing over me. I could barely sit up straight. We'll find a way for you to see Kayden and Chloe regularly, if it's not too much trouble to steal a little of your precious time with her. Just don't sneak off to fuck her again when you're with our kids. Because that is just so messed up."

Exhausted, I moved to the head of the bed, pulling the covers over me, having no energy to change out of my work clothes. "You should sleep in the guest room tonight," I mumbled, my voice faintly above a whisper. "Tomorrow... we'll start packing your things."

Part 13: Aiden

I hadn't slept all night. Just staring at my beautiful wife's sleeping face, repeatedly thinking,what have I done? God, what have I done?

I waited for her to wake up, even though I knew she wouldn't like to find me still in our room, in our bed, after she'd told me to take the guest room. But I couldn't bring myself to leave. I wanted to see those green eyes of hers, blinking gorgeously awake, and by some miracle, I hoped she'd smile at me when her eyes found mine, just like she used to every morning.

Asha's love for me had been pure, persistent, and strong, weathering every storm. It was something I could always count on, but I took it for granted, letting it slowly fall apart until all that remained were ruins. I had broken something that should have lasted a lifetime. Now, I wasn't sure if any of that love was left in her.

I loved Asha with every broken part of me, but it wasn't until she decided to leave that I realized I couldn't live without her and my kids. It took Kayden, my son, to tell me he hated me for tearing our family apart, for me to fully understand the damage I'd caused. I hurt them, day by day, with my selfishness, never once stopping to think about them. All I saw was my own feelings, my own happiness and my own sorrow. I was ashamed of myself. Angry with myself. I brought pain to my family. I didn't deserve to be forgiven.

Perhaps Kayden was right. I had lost my right to be a part of this family. I had lost them, and it seemed impossible to set things right anymore.

But I was determined never to stop trying. Even if Asha and my kids wouldn't let me in, I would remain persistent, waiting patiently by their side until they allowed me back into their lives. I would win them back. Whatever it took, I would win them back.

"I told you to take the guest room,' Asha's sleepy voice broke through my thoughts. Soft as it was, the hatred in her eyes sent a shiver down my spine. 'Why are you still here?'"

"Morning, sweetheart," I leaned over to her. I couldn't stop myself. But she pulled back abruptly and there were no words to describe how painful it was for me. "Just for one night." My voice was as crushed as my heart. "Tonight, I will sleep in the guest room."

"No, Aiden." She said, looking at me with frustration. "Today, you need to leave the house."