Page 101 of All That She Needs

"Amelia, I don't think this is going to work," I said. Her face shifted into disbelief, like she couldn't process what I'd just said. "Yeah... but thanks for your time." Rising from my seat, I added, "If you'll excuse me..." before walking away.

No more dates, I decided. I was done. Not a single one of them sparked anything in me anymore. I should've stopped trying long ago—because no one could ever replace her. No one. That truth had only become clearer with time.

I was forty-eight years old, and blind dates were probably no longer my thing. Of course, Jake would be quick to object—he was my age, never married, and believed he never would. A serial dater, he was perfectly content with that.

I walked over to the bar, where Jake was clearly avoiding my gaze, pretending to be engrossed in rearranging the bottles.

"You can say it," I sighed. "I know you're dying to."

He spun around so quickly that I knew he was seconds away from blurting out whatever was on his mind—or bursting from the effort of holding it in.

"Maybe you should change your type," he said. "Redheads or brunettes, perhaps. No more light blondes."

I just grunted under my breath, unwilling to respond to that.

"It's been almost five years, man..." Jake said, looking at me with pity as he placed a bottle of beer in front of me. Two bottles of beer maximum per night for me, and no other types of alcohol allowed—that was Jake's unshakable rule. No negotiation. "You know you could never replace her..." When I didn't respond, he added, "Or maybe you should just go back to fucking your way around town like you used to. You're probably happier that way."

"Fuck you," I grumbled, and he just chuckled.

"But seriously, do you really want to go into another relationship? Do you think you're ready?"

Yeah, his question was valid, unfortunately. I spent the last few years on meaningless hookups, shutting myself off from anything more meaningful. Then, about six months ago, I decided to give relationships another shot. So far, no luck.

"Have you seen her lately?" I asked Jake.

"Yeah..." Jake knew exactly who I was talking about. "We had a barbecue at my mom's place last Saturday. Kayden and Chloe were there too."

I nodded solemnly.

"And Rosalie too, of course," I added.

He nodded, his eyes searching my face. "Rosie, we called her." he said softly.

I nodded again. "She'd be six months old by now, wouldn't she?"

Jake replied with a quiet, hesitant voice. "Yes,"

"She looked like Asha so much," I said with a small smile. "I remembered seeing a photo of her when she was a baby. Rosalie looked just like her. Beautiful."

The look on Jake's face was as if he were silently asking,"Why the hell do you keep torturing yourself like this, man?"

Yeah... I knew that.

"She's still sitting there, staring at you," Jake said, tilting his head to look over my shoulder. I had a feeling he wanted me to change the subject, knowing I'd only end up plunging myself into endless misery again. Then I saw him stifle a laugh. "I think she was shocked you left just like that."

I tipped the beer bottle to my lips, refusing to look in the direction he was indicating. "She's the last one. I give up."

Jake suddenly looked serious for a while, before he asked, "Can I ask you one thing?"

"Shoot," I said, taking another swig of my beer.

"Why is it," Jake asked, his tone curious, "that you've never dated women with black hair? Not even a casual fling?"

It took me a moment to process the question, but I knew exactly what he was getting at—why I avoided anyone who looked like Vanessa. When I finally spoke, I told him the truth. "Because it just reminds me of all the bad decisions I've made in my life."

Jake didn't respond, though his expression grew thoughtful. We fell into a comfortable silence, me staring at my beer while he busied himself, scanning the room and checking on his employees.

"He makes her happy, doesn't he?" I asked the question I'd never dared to ask in all the years I'd been separated from Asha. I was afraid the answer would break me, especially knowing what I did to Asha was the complete opposite, and to this day, I still believe it would shatter me. But today, I needed to know.

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