Page 5 of A Game Of Love

Fuck!

This isn’t going to be easy. I’m going to have to find a way to re-work my brain that’s been hardwired for years to think in a completely different way.

But I have to at least try. If I don’t, I lose Lilly. And I can’t–no, I won’t let that happen.

Chapter 2

Lillianna

“How are you doing?” Bishop asks, giving my knee a squeeze as he looks over at me briefly before turning his attention back to the road.

“I’m not sure,” I mumble, leaning my head against the cool window.

Any fun from earlier is now gone and forgotten. “It’s going to be okay.” He says the words, but the tone sounds like he isn’t so sure about that, which sends a spark of worry through me.

“I want to believe that...” My voice clogs with emotion as I try not to cry. “I really do. But I don’t know anything anymore.”

After Toby left, I stood there staring in the direction he left, gutted.

It’s not that what Bishop and I were doing was wrong—I don’t think that in any way—but Toby didn’t deserve to find out that way. I’ve never seen him look so defeated. All the fight in him was gone.

Maybe that’s a good thing? I’m not sure what I’d have done if Toby went off the edge. I love him. I want to be by his side and support him in any way he needs. But at what cost? When do I draw a line and think about myself and my feelings? I’m just glad he didn’t explode like we all thought he would.

That sends another wave of guilt through me because he deserves the benefit of the doubt instead of having everyone he loves expecting the worst of him.

Bishop insisted on taking me back to the dorm. I didn’t fight him on it, no longer in the partying mood.

“I didn’t want to hurt him,” I whisper, closing my eyes as another wave of anguish settles into my bones. “I didn’t wanthim to find out like that. We should have told him. I know we agreed not to, that he wasn’t in the right mindset after everything that's happened lately, but...”

I can’t help but feel some sort of guilt. Like, somehow, I was the one who betrayed him. It’s messed up because what about everything he’s done to me? He can’t use being off his meds as an excuse for the past two years.

Opening my eyes, I look over at my boyfriend. God, that’s something I still haven’t gotten used to. “I am glad he knows, though,” I admit. “Because as much as I hated keeping this from him, I also hated the fact that we had to hide that we’re together. I don’t like treating you like you're some dirty little secret to me.”

He looks over at me, a handsome grin taking over his sinful lips and making my heart flutter. He takes my hand, entwining my fingers with his before pulling into the parking lot in front of the dorm. The car comes to a stop, and he shuts the engine off, turning in his seat to look at me. Bringing my hand up, he places a kiss on the back before resting it on his lap.

“I’m going to admit, I also think we went about this all wrong. I do agree keeping it from him was probably not the best move. We wanted to protect him, not to set him off after everything he’s been through. But Lilly, I don’t feel bad about him knowing. If anything, I’m pissed that he’s made you upset yet again. He’s a big boy. We can’t keep babying him. If Toby wanted you for himself, he should have taken you a long time ago. Now, he’s going to have to get over the fact he has to share you because I'm not going anywhere. Not unless you tell me to leave. And even then, I’d still fight for another chance to stay yours. Because you're worth the world, Lilly. You're worth fighting for.”

I don’t want him to leave me, the thought alone has my stomach twisting in pain.

“Bishop.” My eyes well with tears, his words making my belly swoop and fill with butterflies. This man. This amazing man. And he’s mine. “You're going to make me cry.”

He grabs my other hand, pulling me towards him. I go willingly until he’s leaning back in his seat, and I’m straddling his lap.

“No crying,il mio cuore.”He gently cups my face, brushing a stray tear with his thumb. “No more tears, baby. Not if I can help it.”

A shiver makes its way through my body at his touch, right down to the tips of my toes. We stare into one another's eyes, my teeth sinking into my lower lip as I gaze at him with desire. I can feel him growing hard against me.

My need for him is strong. Every time I look at him, all I can think about is him pinning me to the nearest surface and kissing me until the only thing I’m able to think about is him. Us. No one else in the world would matter.

“Thank you,” I whisper, his hand moving to cradle the back of my head. Bringing my face down to his, he stops just as my lips hover over his.

“For what?” The question is nothing but a whisper, his warm breath fanning over my lips.

A small smile forms. “For being you,” I whisper back. “For being amazing. Most of all for being my best friend, someone I can trust, and rely on. And thank you for being mine. For choosing me.”

He groans, pressing his forehead to mine. “Choosing you has got to be one of the easiest decisions I’ve ever made. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here... with you. I’m all yours, Lilly. We’re going to get through this, just like we’ll get through anything else that comes our way. Together.”

“What about Toby? With how he’s reacted in the past, tonight seems to be too good to be true.”

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