Page 23 of Secret Twins for My Ex's SEAL Best Friend

I kept looking at the door, hoping he’d walk back in and tell me that he wanted me.

What was wrong with me? Why did I want him to want me so badly?

ten

Robert

The weekend after I saw Delia at that bar, being harassed by a man and debasing herself for money, I met with Jeremy for coffee and a game of chess.

It felt disgusting breaking bread with my friend, knowing how badly I wanted his ex-girlfriend.

I could hardly believe the level of disloyalty I’d gone to in my mind with Delia. I couldn’t even let myself think about what I’d transgressed with her in actuality. That kiss had been too far already.But the way her body had responded…

No, Robert. Stop thinking about it. Stop thinking about her.

Jeremy sat across from me, only his eyebrows and eyes visible over his coffee mug as he looked at the chessboard in front of him. He only had to make a first move, but he hadn’t decided yet what it would be.

I felt antsy watching him try to figure out if he wanted to move a knight or a pawn, his only two choices. I chewed on the inside of my cheek and tried not to think about Delia. Or Corinne. Or Corinne’s crush. Or work. Which didn’t leave me with much that Icouldthink about.

Leaning forward in his chair and uncrossing his ankle from his knee, Jeremy moved the pawn in front of his king two spaces to allow his bishop to move, like I knew he would. He always liked that strategy. He liked to come at me sideways. He scooted back in his seat and motioned for me to go.

Without thought, I crossed my knight over in an L-shape. Jeremy winced like it caused him physical pain, and I said, “I saw Delia at work.”

He glanced up, his eyebrows raising slightly then correcting themselves. He didn’t want to give away how much he still cared about her every move, but the more he over-corrected, the more painfully obvious it was to me that he wasn’t over her in the slightest.

“Speaking of Delia,” Jeremy said, clearing his throat, and moving another pawn from in front of his queen to make room for his other bishop. “She texted me to grab her things after she left class early that day. Do you know why she left?” He was looking at me hard as he took a gulp of his too-hot coffee, resulting in a sputtering cough.

Chewing even harder on the inside of my cheek, I shrugged a shoulder as the guilt consumed me.

Should I just come clean now? He was giving me a good time to confess. He’d practically set me up for it.

“No. Well, I don’t know. Maybe it was too much, helping me with my flashbacks,” I muttered, trying to look embarrassed, as I brought my second knight out.

I took a small sip of my coffee and watched him blot at the spilled coffee on the front of his shirt.

“Ah,” he said. “I noticed you’ve had more of those lately, the flashbacks. What do you think is bringing that on?” He moved another pawn from in front of his other rook. He always sacrificed his rooks. He didn’t care much for a straight line.

I didn’t respond at first, choosing instead to look as though I was deeply studying the board, even though I knew what I was going to do.

“I thought we were meeting for coffee, not therapy,” I quipped, grateful that he was distracted by my flashbacks. My lie had worked. It was too bad that Jeremy was my therapist in addition to my best friend. It meant that I had no one to talk to about how guilty I felt for lying to my best friend.

I moved one of my knights to take the pawn in front of his king. That showed that I meant business, but it didn’t allow his king to get me.

He grimaced, hurt that I had already taken something of his, and moved his bishop across the board, diagonal to my knight. Hewas forcing me to move. He said, “Well, then, as a friend, what do you think is bringing that on?”

I slapped my knee as though I was rattled by his sudden coup and drank my coffee, giving myself a moment to think of what to say.

I didn’t want to tell him about Corinne. I didn’t want to talk about any of that. Instead, I said, “Did you know that Delia worked at a bar?”

Jeremy’s eyes snapped up to mine, and he narrowed his slightly, those milky blue eyes that unsettled me sometimes. They pierced you right to the gut and seemed to see through you. He had the eyes of a therapist, hawk eyes that saw all.

“I did,” he responded coolly, setting his mug down on the table next to the game.

Avoiding eye contact, I moved my knight out of the way of his pawn and took another of his. “And you’ve never said anything to her?”

His eyes flickered from my face to the board, and then, without a second thought, he brought his queen out to take my knight. He didn’t hesitate at all, and then he asked, with a tinge of frustration masked as curiosity, “About what? It’s a job.”

“Right, a dangerous one,” I snapped.How did he not see that this was a problem?“And a debasing one. She was practically being assaulted by this guy when I came in.”

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