Page 64 of Seven of Hearts

Leah raked her fingers through my hair, and it was an immediate balm. “That’s so much pressure to carry. Too much pressure. No one can be in control of everything all the time. Sometimes life just happens.”

“I don’t spend money unless I absolutely have to. I think that’s probably got something to do with the fact that we went from doing fine to well below the poverty line overnight. I never let it slip that I knew, but Kristin made a lot of invisible sacrifices for us. She’d pretend like she had eaten at work if there wasn’t enough for all five of us. She slept on a couch because we didn’t have the money or space for her to have a bed. Things like that. I don’t socialize often because I don’t like the unknown dynamics. I don’t date because relationships are risky.”

“Logan . . .”

“I’m not looking for pity, I’m just trying to explain.” I sighed. “Since college, I’ve tried to build a life for myself that’s unshakeable. And the night I found out you were pregnant, I realized that everything I had been working toward was just a house of cards. And it came tumbling down.”

Leah tucked her head into the crook of my neck, snuggling close. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight.

“I was trying to hold it together tonight. I wanted to prove to your parents that I wasn’t worthless. That I had made something of myself. I was already a little tense because it was out of my comfort zone, and everything spiraled out of our control. And I left because I was a coward.”

“Panic attacks don’t make you a coward, Logan,” she said as she sandwiched my cheeks in her palms, and stared hard into my eyes.

I chuckled. “I know that, honeybee. Will talked me down when I got back to his house. He’s always been intuitive and knows when I’m struggling. In no uncertain terms, he told me I was being a dumbass by walking away.”

“He and I agree.”

I took her hands in mine and kissed her knuckles. “I’m sorry for walking away. Me coming back isn’t me trying to control you or our situation. But I’m going to try my best to be all in. To do a little better every day.”

Leah reached over to the coffee table and grabbed a worn Whitney West paperback. The seven of hearts playing card I had left her was currently being used as a bookmark. I could make out the scribbled message I had put on it.

A little better every day. That’s what I could promise her. That’s what I could control.

“I promise I’m here for you,” I said as I thumbed the playing card and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’m not gonna let my problems be your problems. I’m gonna get it together.”

“It’s okay if you let your problems be my problems,” she said. Her reassuring voice was the sweetest calm. “That’s what friends do. They carry each other’s burdens, even if they’re unseen. That’s the whole point. You wanted a friend and now you have one. Ask Kylie. I’m annoyingly loyal. She’s been stuck with me for twenty years.”

Our smiles faded as both of our minds went to my sister and the fact that she hadn’t said a word to Leah in a month and a half. Hell, she had barely spoken to me, keeping it to hellos and goodbyes.

I kissed Leah’s temple. “What can I help you with?”

She sighed. “I need to grab my belly butter but it’s in the other room. And honestly, you’re comfortable and I don’t want to get up.”

I slid out from under her and took our takeout containers to the kitchen trash can. “Belly butter? Like in the fridge?”

Leah laughed. “No. It’s just lotion that helps prevent stretch marks. Or so it claims. Honestly, it might be a scam, but it smells good.”

“Where is it?”

“On the bathroom counter.”

I found the screw-top tub and grabbed it. But instead of giving it to Leah, I sat on the couch and patted my thigh. “Come here, pretty girl.”

Her cheeks turned pink, but she crawled back onto my lap without argument.

“Straddle me.”

“Why?”

Leah had her answer when I opened the tub of lotion. I set it to the side and tugged on the sash holding her robe closed. The sides opened and fluttered apart.

“Where do you put it?” I asked as I scooped a little bit out of the jar and smeared it between my hands.

“Uh . . .” Leah chewed on her lip. “Everywhere?”

“You’re not dissuading me,” I said with a half-cocked grin. I started with her bump, gently smoothing my hands over the place where our son was growing. I took my time, committing the shape of her to memory.

She was perfect.

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