Page 142 of Square Deal

But was it really my responsibility to stop being too much? To stop taking up so much space? To make myself small?

I wasn’t intimidating; others were intimidated. It wasn’t on me if others were uncomfortable when I was assertive. Being assertive doesn’t make a woman a bitch. It makes her confident.

I didn’t have a clue when I was going to be ready to move on from the magic I had with Isaac, but one thing was for certain. I would not settle for someone who expected me to dim my light so that theirs could shine brighter.

I could at least thank Isaac for never asking me to do that. He was never threatened by me. He simply cheered me on.

I hated this.

It wasn’t that Isaac and I didn’t love each other. It was that love—apparently—wasn’t enough. Not when two people had opposing goals.

Bridget left before the movie ended. Kyle didn’t even come to the door. She grabbed her bag and scurried out the moment he honked the horn.

Asshole.

Mel bounced out after that. She had to be on shift at the hospital in just a few hours. I was grateful that I had friends who were willing to drop everything to make me shower, eat, and turn back into something resembling a human.

Maddie rinsed out the popcorn bowl at the kitchen sink while I wiped down the countertops. “How are you really doing?” she asked when all was quiet.

I shrugged. “I don’t even know. I mean… It came out of nowhere. Things were great—better than great. Then I overheard him tell my dad that he was never going to get married. When we got back here, I confronted him about it, and he said the same thing.”

“Has he told you why?”

I shook my head. “Just that he doesn’t want it. I don’t think a reason would change the fact that I don’t want to settle for less than what I’m worth.”

She shrugged. “Maybe not, but don’t you think it would give you some closure?”

“The road might be different, but the destination is the same.”

She smiled softly and rested her elbows on the kitchen island. “You really thought he was the one, didn’t you?”

I nodded. “Yeah,” I choked out and then laughed. “And the irony of it all is that he was the complete opposite of everything I thought I wanted.” We settled on the couch. “It was just supposed to be a one-night stand,” I said, yanking down a blanket and snuggling up with it. “But when you called from your honeymoon and asked me to check on your house… It was him. He got stuck here because of the hurricane, so I let him crash at my place.”

“Damn, girl!” She laughed. “You move fast!”

“It wasn’t like that at all,” I said. “You know me. I catch feelings faster than a healthy kid at a chickenpox party. I wanted to kill him during your wedding, and then after I wanted to?—”

“Fuck him?” Maddie tossed her long hair over her shoulder. “You’re preaching to the choir. I felt that way about Luca in the beginning.”

“But Luca’s like—the perfect man.”

“There is no such thing,” she said. “Luca’s a workaholic. I wish he didn’t travel so much. We rarely have downtime just to be married. All we ever talk about is work. I love him more than I’veever loved anyone, but it's not all roses and sunshine after you get the ring, babe. Things don’t just magically fall into place. If you aren’t happy with someone before the white dress, you aren’t going to be happy afterward.”

I picked at the hem of the blanket, twisting two braided tassels together. “I was happy,” I admitted.

Maddie and I sat in silence for a while. It was comforting.

I knew I needed to get some sleep before work the next day but upstairs was so far away. Maybe I’d just sleep on the couch.

“You know what I think?” Maddie said out of the blue.

“Hmm?” I yawned.

She pulled her feet off the floor and perched on her knees like a child. “Okay, hear me out.”

“You say that when you know I’ll say no.”

She put her palms out and gave me a look.

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