Page 28 of Square Deal

“We?”

“My brother and me. He’s four years younger.”

I nodded and took another bite. “What else?”

“Coffee. I have to stop at Queen’s every morning and get some before I go to work. Fried appetizers at the bar we all go to. That’s alove-hate relationship there. God, I love mozzarella sticks, but I loathe the Stairmaster at the gym.”

I laughed. Fuck it—I couldn’t help myself. The Hell Yes Ma’am, who was the appointed drill sergeant at Maddie and Luca’s wedding was a one-eighty compared to half-naked Hannah Jane sitting cross-legged on her kitchen island, shoveling in cereal like an unsupervised six-year-old.

“Cereal, coffee, and mozzarella sticks? Those are some lame vices. Now, if you had said you collected Beanie Babies or were addicted to those reality shows about popping zits, that would be a little more interesting.”

She pointed her spoon at me. “I think I’m addicted to your cock. And your hands. And your mouth. Does that count?”

I plucked a Reese’s Puff out of her bowl and threw it at her, bopping her on the nose. She laughed and tossed it in her mouth. I gave her a warning look. “No catching feelings, remember?”

“Don’t worry,” she said, waving it off. “I think I’m immune to you. I just wish I could be that way around the guys I actually go on dates with.”

It was adorable how idealistic Hannah Jane was. She had that Nicholas Sparks view of the world.

Yeah, I watched those movies. You know what’s a sure-fire way to get a girl in bed? Quoting literally anything Noah says inThe Notebook.Be real casual about it, too. The panties practically melt off. And if that doesn’t work, go straight for the lift fromDirty Dancing.

It had been working pretty damn well for the last thirty-six years.

Hannah Jane Hayes and I were opposites in every sense of the word. The biggest difference was in our contradictory views regarding long-term monogamy. She believed that one day she would just stumble upon her soulmate and nothing would be the same again. Happily ever after.

She was in for a rude awakening. Most of Nick Sparky’s characters died, and happily ever afters didn’t exist.

Live in the moment and, when the happiness passes, move the hell on.

“Where do you plan on meeting the future Mr. Hell Yes Ma’am?” I asked without an inkling of humor.

She fought off a smile and stared into her cereal bowl. “You’ll make fun of me.”

“Yeah, probably.”

Hannah looked up at me with shock dancing through her eyes.

I laughed, setting my bowl aside and raising my hands defensively. “Look, Princess—what you see with me is what you get. You hate me, and the feeling’s pretty damn mutual, but I promise you—I’ll never lie to you.” I dropped my voice into a stage whisper. “Because honestly, I don’t care about your feelings enough to bullshit around you.”

Hannah rolled her eyes and shoved in another spoonful. “I dunno,” she mumbled. “I just… I have this scene in my head where I’m in line, waiting for my coffee at Queen’s like I am every morning, and I hit it off with the gentleman in line behind me… And maybe he’ll go up to the barista and quote the line fromWhen Harry Met Sally. You know—‘I’ll have what she’s having.’ And he’ll pay for my coffee, and we hit it off and things just…”

“Fall into place?”

“Love at first sight,” she sighed wistfully.

I leaned in close enough to catch a hint of her lingering perfume. “Hannah,” I said in a low rasp. Her eyebrows perked up with curiosity. My eyes flitted to her lips and then back up to meet her gaze. “That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

I felt the sting before I heard the clap of her hand against my cheek.

I deserved it.

Her backhanded slap didn’t knock the grin off my face, though.

“Asshole!” she shouted, rearing back to swat at my chest. With those talons she had for nails, I wasn’t taking any chances. I jumped down off the island and took off like a bat out of hell.

Hannah came ripping through the den like a pissed-off honey badger. I went on the offensive and locked my arms around her waist and threw her on the couch. She bounced on the leather cushion, and I scrambled to crawl on top of her and pin her down.

It wasn’t hard. She was a little thing, and it made her tapping out all the more fun.

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