Page 26 of Kiss of Steel

“I brought you something,” he’d said upon returning home to the cabin. That it felt like homecoming shocked him. He’d never had a home, only a base from which to recharge. And while the cabin was far more luxurious than his old barracks, it was Honoria’s presence that transformed the unit into a home.

When he’d presented the tongs, she had squealed with such delight, the ground had tilted beneath his feet. Another first—he’d brought someone happiness. He’d never inspired happiness before. Plenty of misery and terror, but never joy.

“Thank you!” As she hugged him, her breasts pressed against his chest. His penis had hardened.

Chortling, she’d dashed to the bin, carried in a shit-brick with the tongs, fed it into the stove, and grinned happily. “I put a set of these on layaway at the mercantile. But I can’t get them until after payday next week. This is wonderful, thank you!”

“I thought you’d be sleeping,” he said now. He’d delayed retiring to give her a chance to fall asleep. He didn’t dislike her company—quite the opposite. He liked it too much. She’d knocked him off-kilter. His world, his life view, his expectations were shifting in subtle, possibly unalterable ways. Unfamiliar feelings had bubbled up to challenge his beliefs. Rocked by anticipation, relief, pleasure, concern, empathy, lust, as well as guilt, anger, and shame, he stewed in confusion.

He’d used to believe he was emotionless. That turned out not to be true. He’d suppressed his feelings to survive. Now, a lifetime of pent-up emotion sought an outlet.

Tiny changes could have a big impact.

Change every part of an animal in aminusculeway, and the individual parts would appear indistinguishable from the original, but the animal itself would be a different creature altogether.

Could he ever become…human? Circumstances had forced him to pretend to be human, but he found himself slipping into the role with greater ease than he’d ever expected. What did that say about him?

He’d spent his life resenting humans for the power they wielded while despising their humanness. How was it that those inferior beings were the ones in control? They were weaker, smaller, slower, emotional. They were sly in the way self-serving individuals often were, but overall, they weren’t that intelligent. Mostly he had hated them because they enjoyed the freedom they’d denied to him.

Most people on Refuge and at Haven were not from Earth. He hadn’t considered relocation would mean he’d be surrounded by extraterrestrials, but the lack of humans allowed him to cope. Being around them had been a constant stab against a raw wound. If bitterness surfaced here, he could sublimate it into hard work and remunerative productivity. Maybe, in time, the anger would subside altogether, and he would find peace.

But if he ever encountered anyone from Solutions again, the individual would know his wrath. He had been created to kill. So be it. Karma, as they liked to say, was a bitch.

Yes, he much preferred the company of aliens.

Except for the one outspoken, bossy exception. Honoria amused and fascinated him. In a short time, he’d become quite fond of her.

His goal had always and only been freedom. He hadn’t considered what he would do with it when he got it. If he’d listed all possible—no matter how improbable—twists and turns his life could take, getting married would not have made the list.

But here he was. Married.

“I stayed awake to ensure you’d come to bed,” she said.

“Why is it so important to you?” Why care if he slept on the floor? Wasn’t it better for her? She would have the whole bed to herself.Damn, it’s comfortable.How quickly he’d acclimated to human comforts and conventions: a warm coat, a heated domicile, a mattress to sleep on, hot water in the shower, three squares a day—three squares every meal.A wife. Humans enjoyed an easy life.

“Because your comfort is important. I can’t leave you to freeze on the hard floor while I snuggle in the warm bed.”

“Why not? I wouldn’t freeze.” It wasn’t cold enough, and he could shift awareness of the chill and discomfort to the background. His gaze drifted to her mouth.Soft.So soft.If he rolled a little…

She huffed, and her sweet breath touched his face. He bit off a groan. “You’re my husband, for one. Second, it’s common decency.”

Decency wasn’t common to him. He’d never been treated to it, nor had he extended it to others. Decency handicapped an assassin. Now that he had a wife, he would have to learn how to bedecent. Polite. Civil. Learn how to chitchat. He’d managed to carry on a conversation at dinner, but he was still far from proficient.

“Are you tired?” she asked.

“Not particularly.” His body required a certain amount of downtime for restoration, so he kept a regular sleep schedule, but he didn’t get tired. He would lie down, will oblivion to come, and it did.

“I’m not either. Do you mind if we talk a bit?”

He rolled onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. “Fine.”

“Maven, my boss, shared herstory, as Phibious calls it. Did you know she’s a princess?” Her husky voice sounded more seductive in the darkness. As usual, it aroused him.Furtheraroused him. He’d gotten a hard-on getting into bed.

“No.” How would he know that? He had yet to meet Maven.

“Her father was king of Tracoria. He got deposed. The family fled. Tracorians live to be about 250 years old! Maven is half-human, half-Tracorian. She’s ninety-two!”

“I’ve heard of Tracoria. The current king is considered a despotic ruler.” The sort of person Solutions might have ordered him to execute, except the company only meddled in Earth affairs. They hadn’t gone interplanetary—yet.

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