Page 31 of Valentine's with the Cartel

I really would do anything for our family.

Anan would never have to worry or doubt where he stood with me—for me, he was literally the center of my world from now on. Everything else existed in service to his comfort and wellbeing, no exceptions made.

I just needed a name. And more than one name if this pregnancy ended up with twins or triplets. Anan would give us such a big family that quickly!

"In any case," I continued into the charged silence of our bedroom, "we have months before we'll need to settle on names. First things first: I will make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible to confirm what's happening."

Anan just grinned up at me, reaching for my face with both hands to cup my cheeks as he gazed deep into my eyes with pure adoration shining back at me from his own.

"You always take care of me so well," he murmured. "I don't know what I did to deserve someone as incredible and devoted as you by my side, but I thank the heavens every day for bringing you into my life."

I leaned into his touch instinctively as I captured one of his wrists to turn his palm up so I could place a reverent kiss in the center of it. The taste of salt on my tongue brought a profound smile to my lips that felt almost religious in its intensity.

"You deserve so much more than this," I countered, laving the spot with the flat of my tongue as I gazed down at him with open awe and appreciation in my eyes. "But since you seem to like what you get so far..."

I took a deep breath, remembering something important. I didn't think it would cross my mind now, but since it did, I couldn't simply ignore it.

"Changing the subject," I murmured after another long moment, my thumb still idly tracing patterns on Anan's palm even as my mind drifted to the weighty matters that had been occupying my thoughts of late. "There have been some troubling developments with the cartel lately—specifically surrounding the missing shipment of fentanyl that was stolen a few weeks ago. You remember, right? It happened on our wedding day."

Anan stiffened almost imperceptibly at the mention, his eyes widening with a flash of concern even as he frowned slightly in consternation. I could practically see the gears turning behind that expressive gaze as he tried to process the implications of what I was saying.

"That's dangerous business, Rafael," he said after a long pause, his voice tense even as he tightened his grip on my hand as if anchoring himself against the swell of anxiety rising withinhim. "Fentanyl is one of the most lethal substances out there right now. The people who traffic in it... they're ruthless and will stop at nothing to protect their interests."

I couldn't help but feel a surge of pride at his astute observation, even as I wished I could shield him from the harsh realities of my world. He was so quick to grasp the gravity of our situation—it was one of the many reasons why he was such an invaluable partner to me both in and out of the bedroom.

"Yes," I agreed, my free hand coming up to cup his cheek as I gazed down. "Which is exactly why it's so important that we get this shipment back under our control before things spiral even further out of hand. The cartel has enemies who would love nothing more than to see us weakened and vulnerable."

Anan's jaw clenched, his eyes flashing with a fierceness I knew well from our early days together when he had been so determined to fight me at every turn. But now, that fire was directed inward as he wrestled with the knowledge of just how precarious our position truly was.

"I want you to get out of the fentanyl business entirely," he said fiercely after a moment, his voice shaking slightly with the force of his emotion even as he gripped my wrist like a lifeline. "I know it's not that simple, but I can't stand the idea of you putting yourself in harm's way for something so deadly and destructive."

Chapter 19

Anan

My heart clenched at the thought of Rafael putting himself in even more danger than usual by pursuing this missing shipment of fentanyl. I knew there would be more than just one, too.

It was one thing to know that he was involved in dangerous activities as the head of a criminal cartel—but to have it rubbed in my face like this, with the very real threat of violence and retribution hanging over us...

I shuddered, my fingers curling around Rafael's hand as if I could anchor him to safety by sheer force of will alone. He was so strong and capable, but even the most indestructible man could only withstand so many blows before succumbing to the weight of it all. And that was something I couldn't let happen.

"I can't lose you," I whispered, my voice cracking with the intensity of my feelings even as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. "You're everything to me now—my whole world revolves around you and our future together. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you because of this."

My free hand came up to press against his chest, right over the steady thump of his heart beneath my palm as if I could somehow keep him tethered to life by touch alone.

Rafael's expression softened at my outburst, one large hand coming up to cup the back of my head almost protectively even as he turned his face into my touch with a sigh.

"I know this isn't easy for you," he murmured, stroking his fingers through my hair in soothing patterns that never failed to calm me no matter how agitated I became. "But I need you to trust that I have the situation well in hand and that I won't let anything happen to me."

I wanted to believe him—I desperately wanted to put all my faith in his abilities and expertise. But the rational part of my brain knew that even with all of Rafael's strength and cunning, there were still too many variables beyond our control for me to feel entirely at ease.

And he should know that better than anyone. I shouldn't have to argue about this.

"You say that," I continued, my voice rising in pitch as my agitation grew, "but you can't guarantee anything for certain. And if something happens to you because of this..." I trailed off, unable to even contemplate the possibility without feeling physically ill at the mere thought.

Rafael's grip on me tightened, his eyes flashing with a fierce light that made my breath hitch in my throat. "If something happens to me, it will be because I was too weak to protect what is mine," he growled, locking his eyes with mine. "And I can assure you, little omega—I am anything but weak."

I shivered against him, both from the sheer force of his conviction and the way his body molded against mine like we were two halves of the same whole. It was intoxicating and terrifying all at once.

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