Page 19 of Tough Love

I lift Charlie from my lap and stand. “Hudson,” I say with breathy disagreement.

“This is how I see it. You need to ride. Something happened that makes you scared to. But Sergeant isn’t going to let you down, nor am I.”

“I—”

He holds up a hand. “Tell you what. You hop on that old man and take one turn around the yard, and I will take you camping on that mountain top you loved so much under the stars. Deal?”

I open my mouth to object but close it. Sleeping under the stars in the middle of the mountains. That would be breathtaking.

“But I couldn’t even get on.”

“It’s alright; it takes as long as it takes. I’ll honor my half of the deal if it’s today or next month. That okay with you, Howard?”

“Fine, deal. But I wish you would call me Addy.”

He huffs a laugh. “Maybe, one day.”

What is that supposed to mean?

He holds out a hand and I shake it. His hand is warm, his grip firm. And butterflies explode in my belly.Just a physical reaction.I ignore it.

“Good. Let’s head back to Sergeant before he thinks you stood him up.”

He winks at me, and I feel heat flood my neck and face. Shit. He walks in front of me all the way to the round yard. His Wranglers are tight in all the right places. His broad shoulders flex, the t-shirt he wears moving over his back muscles as he strides for the gate.

He holds it open for me, and all the humor that was there a moment ago is gone. Sergeant waits exactly where we left him, one leg still up, resting. Hudson takes the rein by his muzzle and tilts his head, gesturing for me to try again.

I suck in a breath and take purposeful steps toward them. Blood thunders through my veins and my heart flings in my chest, but I take the reins again and put my foot in the stirrup.

“Good job. You’re okay.” Hudson’s words are soft and sweet, and I glance at him. His face is calm, his stance solid. He really does have my back. I trust this man. I pull on the saddle and push up off the ground. The second I swing my leg over Sergeant, I know this isn’t going to end well.

Fear prickles up my spine and tears burn behind my eyes. Sweat pops over my brow as I grip the pommel of the saddle. Every breath is too shallow. Hudson’s hands rest over mine, those blue eyes looking up at me.

“You’re okay. Steady.”

Sergeant shifts on his feet. Visions of Jewls flood my mind. Her still body, trapping mine on the sandy arena. The fear in her eye when she shook her head and blood streamed from her nose. The moment my parents told me she was gone.

Bile rises in my throat, and I shake my head violently.

“No, no, please. Get me down, Hudson.”

His hands are around my waist a heartbeat later, and I fall into his hold and off the horse. His hat hits the ground. I cling to his t-shirt, and he stiffens. I choke through ragged breath, trying to hold back the sobs clawing up my throat. His arms fold around me and hug me tight.

“You did good, Howard. It’s the first time; I promise it gets easier.”

My chin wobbles. But I refuse to let him see me cry. I push out of his hold and swoop down to grab his hat. I hold it out to him, tears welling in my eyes. But I set my shoulders back, raising my chin, and he takes his hat. Sergeant stands, unbothered. “I’m sorry.”

Hudson shakes his head and pushes his hat onto his head. “Do youwantto do this, Howard?” His words are kind, not harsh like I expected.

“I don’t know, I—” I swallow and stare at his hand that now runs behind his neck, his arm flexing. “Yes,” I finally say, almost a whisper.

“What happened when you sat in the saddle, what went through your mind?”

My hands tremble by my sides. And I shove them in my back pockets and stare toward the homestead.I saw Jewls, that’s what.I don’t want to make another bad decision and cost another beautiful horse their life. I trust Hudson. It’smeI don’t trust. Hell, I even trust Sergeant. And that’s the biggest problem. I’m the problem. “I?—”

But the air chokes from my lungs as I try to force out the words. Hudson lifts his hat and runs a hand through his hair before setting it back down. “You know, just because something happened once, doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen again, okay?”

I nod.

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