Page 31 of Alpha Scorned

“What do you mean you tried?”

“I mean just that. I tried—but I couldn’t do it. I kept avoiding him touching my skin. I even kept my t-shirt on so that he wouldn’t see my scars, and I wouldn’t need to feel his hands on me.” I chanced a look at his face, but he was staring at me so intently I looked down again. My insides twisted at the memory of that night. I’d been so ashamed of my scars, my body, and that I’d led Shane to believe I wanted him. I hadn’t, not really. “I couldn’t do it,” I whispered, my voice hoarse. “I tried to have sex with him, but all I could think about was you. That I was somehow betraying you.” I coughed to clear my throat of the thickness that had settled there. “Since then, he has become a friend and has always treated me with respect. Being an Alpha is lonely. He has lovers, but is not a potential mate with any of them. He respects Robin and his alphas, but only two of them saw the inside of the prison. He often said they didn’t understand the blood on his hands, and that I did. He knows what it’s like to live with the kind of trauma that never leaves you. He was forced to kill people he cared about, I was forced to give up control of my body...” Meeting Owen’s eyes was hard but I did it. “I am broken and part of Shane is, too. Not physically, but deep inside. He doesn’t want to love anyone, because he is convinced that they will be taken away, or that he will somehow destroy them.” I glanced into the reception area as the door alarm chimed. It was a good reason not to look at him any longer. I’d lied to him, for years, and couldn’t bear to see his disappointment in me, or deal with the fact that he might be angry enough to walk away.

“Excuse me a moment,” I said quietly and walked out of the office. My palms were so sweaty I had to wipe them down my skirt before I greeted my client.

Lorna Dean, an omega who’d recently joined our pack, stepped into the reception. Her gaze moved to where Owen stood in my office doorway. She eyed him nervously. Her face paled a little as she took in his size and the power seeping from him. I took her hand, both trying to comfort her and hide my irritation at her response to my mate. He’d never hurt her. I shook it off and used my most reassuring tone. Her reaction wasn’t her fault, she’d had a rough time in the past and was anxious. I was here to help her, not to get defensive on my mate’s behalf. “It’s okay, this is Alpha Brady, he’s not here to hurt you or anyone else. He’s going to keep us safe from whatever took Shane.”

Lorna gulped, her wide eyes moving from Owen to me. “Do you trust him?” she asked quietly, her hand trembling.

I smiled, holding her cold hand between both of mine. “I really do.” My words were genuine. I trusted no one more than Owen. “Listen, I need to finish speaking with him. Are you okay to wait for a few minutes?”

Lorna nodded and sat down, her spine straight and her hands clasped in her lap, but the scent of fear settled a little.

When I turned back to my office, Owen was staring at me with a strange look in his steel grey eyes. I walked back in, inhaling sharply as my arm brushed his. Needing some distance between us so that I could concentrate, I perched on the desk again. He closed the door and leaned back on it. Crossing his arms over his chest, he cocked his head, an intense expression on his gorgeous face. My heart rate spiked as I took in his relaxed posture. I wasn’t fooled for a moment. His biceps bulged and his forearms and wrists were tense.

“So, you and Shane were friends, never lovers?”

It was hard to drag my attention from his ripped and muscular body.

I nodded. “That’s right.”

The gleam in his eyes turned possessive, his wolf showing. There was no mistaking the satisfaction in his smile. Electricity crackled between us. Heat flared in his gaze and I knew he could scent the anticipation that bubbled in my stomach at the sexual tension between us. With the explanation I’d given and my actions last night, I’d just admitted to not taking another lover since the prison. Until him. That was a huge admission, and the dark and proprietary glint in his eyes told me he knew it. Silent seconds passed as we stared at each other. Warmth flushed my skin. I just wanted to walk up to him and touch him. My fists curled. It wasn’t appropriate, he was on official business...and I had a client outside the door. His attention dropped to my curled fists. His throat bobbed and he exhaled before giving me an encouraging smile. “Why don’t you tell me why he left early that night?”

Taking a minute, I replayed the evening with Shane in my mind, trying to think back to what we’d talked about. After Scotland, we hadn’t seen each other much. His visits for dinner had become sporadic. That had probably been my fault as I’d distanced myself from everyone. But distancing myself from my Alpha, who might demand I shift at any point, had been more self preservation than anything. I dragged my lip between my teeth. I’d been selfish. Shane didn’t have many friends…

“Kerores?” Owen prompted gently.

“I, um...I didn’t see him much after we got back from Scotland.” I shoved my hands in the pockets of my slacks, unable to lift my gaze from Owen’s shoes. Gods, I hated that I’d treated everyone so badly, especially my mate.

“Lina?” Owen’s voice was encouraging, kind, even. “We can talk about what happened between us, why you did what you did, when you’re ready to explain. For now, let’s continue with Shane. Okay?”

Those steady words soothed me, as did the touch of his power when I braved a peek at his face. Damn, the affection in his eyes made my legs wobble. I didn’t deserve his compassion, not really, I’d lied to him for years, I still was. I blinked and nodded, shoving my guilt down.

“Shane was cross with me for using him to keep a distance between you and me. He didn’t understand why I rejected you, but he knew what had happened to me with the demons, well, some of it, so he supported me.” I glanced out of the window and sighed, hating that I was still only telling him half the truth, but too scared to tell him the rest. “I also hadn’t seen Shane in a while before that night. I didn’t feel much like socialising with anyone after I’d rejected you.”

“Why not?” Owen asked, his voice deeper.

I raised a shoulder, still avoiding his gaze.Because I hated myself. Because I hated my wolf for abandoning me. Because I felt, and still feel, like a fraud, a human in a town of shifters...“I just didn’t.”

His Alpha compulsion grazed over me, a touch of energy that prickled against my exposed skin, but it withdrew just as quickly. Silence ticked by for a few seconds.

“Okay.” Disappointment thickened his tone, and my stomach sank. I’d let him down again. He knew I was hiding something, but I couldn’t admit my failings to him. My mate was strong and powerful, he would support me, of that I was pretty sure, but, dammit, he shouldn’t have to. He needed a mate who was as strong and capable as he was. But, maybe if I could fix this...I just needed more time to connect with my wolf.

“Tell me more about that last evening,” Owen said, on a calm and controlled breath.

Teasing that night from my mind was getting easier. “Shane got more and more distracted as the evening wore on. He told me he’d found something at the guards’ hut where the most recent disappearances had occurred. He wouldn’t tell me what, only that he was worried he’d missed something from the first disappearance.”

“He didn’t tell you what it was? Or give you any clue?”

I shook my head, racking my brains. “No, nothing at all. He told me he was going to go back and check. I asked him to be careful, but he just told me not to worry about him and that he’d see me soon.”

“That’s it?”

I replayed our conversation in my mind, trying to remember if he'd said or done anything else unusual. “I can’t think of anything else. He read Devon a bedtime story, like he often did, and spoke with him for a while, then he left.”

Owen frowned. “What did they talk about?’

“I have no idea. I went to clean up.”

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