Page 297 of The Black Trilogy

As I stormed out of the control room and down the corridor, memories of Black’s death flew through my head, crystal clear as if it had happened yesterday. And I was mad. Mad in a way I’d never been before.

Employees scattered like bowling pins as I marched along the hallways. One glance at my face and they decided keeping quiet and getting out of my way was the best approach to take. A wise move.

I needed to get rid of my anger before I took it out on someone who didn’t deserve it, and a punchbag seemed the best way.

A handful of guys looked up when I walked into the gym, their expressions quickly turning confused.

“Just leave, would you? I need this place to myself.”

They filed out as I taped up my wrists, hands, and ankles—I may have been furious but I wasn’t stupid—and I spent the best part of an hour punching and kicking a heavy bag into submission. If any moment called for a string of swear words, it was this one, but the stubborn part of me was still determined to win the bet I’d made with Black all those months ago. Somehow, if I kept up the challenge, I could almost imagine he was still around.

By the end of the session, I’d collapsed in a puddle of sweat, but at least I felt calmer. Movement caught my eye as Nick and Alex appeared in the doorway. Nick looked a little bit nervous.

“Glad I wasn’t on the receiving end of that,” he said.

Alex, ever the critic, told me in his thick Russian accent, “Make sure you keep your head up, and your left arm was too straight on your hooks.”

Thanks for that.

“I wasn’t exactly worrying about my form.”

“Just saying. Apart from that, you did all right.” High praise indeed from Alex.

Nick walked over and sat on one of the weight machines.

“Nate said you had a call from Black’s killer.”

“That’s right.”

“And?”

“And nothing. I have to put it out of my mind because otherwise it’ll make me so angry I won’t be able to think straight.”

“I’m surprised you don’t want to retaliate.”

“You think I haven’t considered it? Believe me, the desire for revenge has been eating away at my insides like cancer. And if it was just me that my decision affected, I would go after him. I’d hunt him till my dying breath. But it isn’t just me. He threatened everyone around me last time, and he did it again today. I couldn’t carry on with your blood on my hands. There are enough days when I don’t care whether I live or die as it is.”

“So that’s it? You’re going to let him get away with murder?” Nick managed to mix disappointment and incredulity in two short sentences.

“If it means you and Nate, Carmen, Dan, and Mack get to live long and happy lives, then yes, that’s precisely what I’m going to do.”

“Every single one of us would be right behind you if you made a move to find him, you know that, right?”

“Yes. And believe me, your loyalty means everything. Which is exactly why I’m sitting on my hands. I’d rather have you alive and loyal than dead and loyal.”

“What if he does the same thing to somebody else’s husband? Or son? Or brother?” Nick asked.

“You think that hasn’t crossed my mind either? The way he is, he’s done it already, many times over. And there’s no doubt in my mind he’ll carry on doing it. But while that’s a tragedy, as long as none of his victims are you guys, I can live with it. Am I being selfish? Undoubtedly.” Nick held my gaze, and I knew my words didn’t please him. “And for Pete’s sake, stop putting me on a guilt trip, will you? I’ve been doing enough of that myself.”

“Well, someone’s got to say it.”

“You’ve said it. Now lay off.” I turned my back on him and half-heartedly started on the bag again.

“I can’t. I’ve talked to the others and we all feel the same. It’s our decision as much as yours.”

I fixed my eyes on the wall beyond Nick and sighed with a heaviness that matched my heart.

“I never wanted to have to say this, but I’m now the majority shareholder in this company, so if you want to commit resources to the problem, it has to go through me first. And I’m telling you we’re not pursuing this.”

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