Page 180 of The Black Trilogy

“How was it different?”

“That senator was an idiot. I didn’t give a toss if he ended up hating me. With Luke, I do care.” I faced Nick head on, snapping because I couldn’t help myself. “There, I said it. I care. Are you happy now?”

He chuckled as I crossed my arms and stared out the window.

“So she does have a heart, after all.”

“Shut up.”

Two hours later as I paced the lounge with a gin and tonic in hand, my mind was still racing. I felt like I was playing a game of chess, trying to second guess Luke as well as plan my own moves. But at the moment, I longed to flip the board over.

Because I’d screwed up yet again.

I hated being on bad terms with people I liked. Hated it. I mean, I was still friends with every single one of my other exes. Okay, so Alaric had been AWOL for a few years, but he still sent birthday cards.

How could I fix this?

“You’re going to wear out the carpet,” Nick said from his vantage point on the sofa.

“Then I’ll buy a new one.”

I took another drink, ignoring the line of fire that burned down the back of my throat. Perhaps I should have added more than a splash of tonic.

“Look, if you can’t sleep, why don’t you come out to a club with me? Take your mind off things?”

“Not in the mood, Nick.” To my own ears I sounded petulant. None of this was his fault. I paused next to him and attempted a smile. “You go out if you want to. I’d only spoil your fun.”

He reached up and took my hand. “I don’t mind staying here with you.”

“No, you go. Take the team.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

Once they’d gone, I knew I wouldn’t see any sign of them until tomorrow morning. That left me alone in the house. At least if I had a nightmare, which was happening with alarming regularity, nobody would hear me scream.

I switched to Scotch and swallowed a couple of fingers before heading to bed in the hope it would send me off. It didn’t help. Instead, I lay there wide awake on my thousand thread count sheets, wondering how much worse things would get before they got better.

I’d had bad times before, and as I stared at the darkened ceiling, I thought back over what had happened in my life so far to land me in my present position.

Diamonds and darkness, blood and sweat, fear, friendship, and one fatal attraction.

I thought of how I met my husband…

CHAPTER 17

IT WAS A cold December night when I first saw him.

I glanced up at the sky as I hurried down the street, my footsteps soft in the darkness. The lack of clouds meant the temperature would drop a few degrees yet. The clock in the pawnbroker’s window chimed the witching hour as I passed, muffled by thick glass and a security grille. My mouth opened in a yawn, and I didn’t bother to cover it. Why fight the exhaustion? It festered inside me, the one constant in my life since childhood. A nemesis I’d never beat.

The eight to late shift was a killer, and in five hours I’d be up and working again, bleary eyed and faking a smile until I knocked off to study at one thirty. I’d have dearly loved to pack in my second job, the one in the evening, but it paid better than the first so I was stuck with it. Every day was the same. In order for me to get the recommended eight hours of rest, each day would need to have twenty-eight hours.

Still, I carried on. What other choice did I have? I was determined not to be stuck in dead-end jobs for the rest of my life, and my long-term plan involved sacrificing any kind of fun in my teenage years so I could enjoy my twenties and thirties.

I may have only been fifteen, but I had big ambitions.

Of course, nobody knew I was fifteen. If either of my employers found out I was two years and seven months younger than I claimed to be, they’d have kicked me right back out on the streets I’d fought so hard to escape. I got away with bending the truth because I looked older, and I looked older because fending for myself my entire life had matured me in a hurry.

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