Page 226 of The Black Trilogy

“But it’s not charity. You guys did so much for me and you didn’t have to. You could call that charity too. I just see this as returning the favour.”

Jackie settled herself onto the sofa and patted it for me to sit beside her. “Can you afford it? Be honest.”

“Yes, I can. It was sixty thousand pounds. I made that in the last month.”

Jackie’s jaw dropped. “I had no idea you earned so much.”

“Well, I do. And I’m so busy working I barely have time to spend a penny.”

“You need to take a break, darling girl. You’ll burn out.”

“I like work.” A month ago, I’d have said those words with more conviction. I did enjoy work most of the time—it was just the odd nightmare-inducing jobs I could do without.

Jackie squeezed both of my hands. “Then thank you. I’ll speak to Jimmy, see if I can get him to accept it.”

I gave her a hug. “It would mean a lot to me.”

In England, I slept alone, the house silent apart from the creaks and groans as it settled. I spoke to Black most days, and although I was getting kind of lonely, I kept thinking of new reasons not to go home. Eventually, having grown tired of hearing my ever more ridiculous excuses, Black sent Nick over. Ostensibly for a meeting, but the real reason was to drag me back to Virginia.

“I’m not sure I’m ready to leave,” I grumbled to Black.

“You’ve got to face up to things, Diamond. You can’t keep running away from reality. Now, get yourself back over here. I’ve got things for you to do.”

He was right, of course. Nick acted like his normal self, and any tension between us was all in my head. We soon fell back into our old friendship, the only difference being that I never attempted to spend the night with him again.

Weirdly, I discovered that when I went on a job, the nightmares stayed away. A kill switch, if you like. For one crazy moment, I considered moving to a war zone to escape from my own subconscious, but Black quickly vetoed that idea.

“Are you out of your mind?”

“Not on the frontline, no. That’s the whole point.”

“Forget it, Diamond.”

Over the next couple of years, I learned to live better with myself, and Black kept his promise; he was always by my side. Despite our initial plans to divorce, we stayed married. Our relationship remained platonic, but neither of us met anybody we liked enough to warrant filling out the paperwork. I stayed at Riverley Hall, gradually influencing the decor until it was a little less stuffy and formal, while Dan moved into an apartment in Richmond.

I couldn’t entertain the thought of a serious relationship, not after what had happened with Nick. Nor could I bring myself to have the one-night stands that Dan seemed to favour. Instead, I preferred discreet liaisons with a few men I knew well enough to trust with the true reason why I got dressed and left before midnight.

After Nick came Xavier. Edgy in the bedroom, brutal out of it. At that point in our lives, neither of us liked ourselves much, and our time together reflected that darkness. Then there was James, who showed me sweet and kind but only behind closed doors. Those days were…difficult. He wanted more, but I couldn’t give it to him, not when his career aspirations were so incompatible with mine. Our relationship was always doomed to fail.

I went through Gideon and Alaric, neither of whom could be termed easy, before I found Jed. Jed made no secret of liking the ladies, but his easygoing nature made a refreshing change. Not to mention he sure knew how to make me smile.

Black got his kicks too, although I never saw his women. He took them to an apartment in Richmond, and Bradley told me the place was devoid of any personality. No colour, no personal items, no soul.

I asked Nate about it once, why Black didn’t just bring a girlfriend back to Riverley, but he said Black didn’t want the emotional entanglement. That if a woman saw the size of the estate, they’d also know the size of his wallet, and he’d never get rid of her.

Suited me.

Although I didn’t care so much at first, I grew to hate the nights Black spent in Richmond. Those were the nights I lost myself in Jed.

The business went from strength to strength, mainly because Black, Nate, Nick, Dan, and I spent most of our waking hours working. Carmen took a step back after she and Nate had their first child, a boy they named Joshua. The rest of us regularly worked through several time zones each day, and I collected so many airline toiletries I could have stocked my own pharmacy.

In the end, Black did buy a jet, which allowed us to avoid baggage restrictions and meant I could stick my knife in my pocket rather than having to find a creative hiding place every time I went through airline security.

I had ever-growing demands on my time, especially when I followed Black’s lead and diversified my investments. I bought into other businesses, watching them grow alongside Blackwood. And as a person, I grew too.

Despite our hectic lives, Black and I were always there for each other. Even on opposite sides of the world, I knew he was only a phone call away. He was my rock, the one thing that kept me grounded and enabled me to deal with my demons and keep doing the job I did.

Until all that changed one fateful day when a stranger with an itchy trigger finger stole him from me.

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