Page 46 of 10 Days to Surrender

“Hello?” Gina’s voice crackles through, sleep-rough and absolutely glorious.

A sob tears up my throat. “Hi, Gee. It’s me.”

18

ARIEL

The dial tone buzzes in my ear long after Gina’s laughter fades.

Five minutes wasn’t enough.

Five lifetimes wouldn’t be enough. There was just so much to catch up on.

Feliks bought this stupid loft in Tribeca—can you believe it? Says he wants us to have space for you when you visit. Which better be soon, Ward. I’m not hauling twin strollers up five flights by myself.

Mist coils around the phone clutched in my white-knuckled grip. I sink deeper until the water kisses my chin, trying to drown the way Gina’s voice cracked when she mentioned how thin Mom’s gotten.

I’ve been checking in on her as often as I can. She keeps saying it’s acid reflux, even when I found her crying over a box of your old baby clothes.

A fat raindrop plinks against the phone screen—wait, no. That’s a tear. God. When did I start crying?

The stone beneath me grinds into my tailbone. I don’t care. I can barely feel it over the vise crushing my heart. All those weeks rationalizing my exile—they’re safer this way; this is temporary; I can always go back—crumble like wet newspaper.

My old life isn’t paused. It’s rotting without me.

Cool rivulets streak down my cheeks. Rain, fog, or tears? Who cares? It all tastes salty and sad.

Every bit of news was like another drop in a storm. Gina’s moving in with Feliks. Mom is unraveling. Lora has actually stayed in a relationship for longer than a few weeks, and she thinks this might really be the one.

Gee put a brave face on for all of my news, because that’s just what she does.Babies or no babies, Sasha or no Sasha, there’s still a happy ending in this for you, Ari. I’m gonna make sure of that. What else are best friends for?

Another sob breaks free. I slap a hand over my mouth, but it’s no use. The sound reverberates off the rocks—a wounded animal howl that startles birds from the cypress trees. Water sloshes as I fold into myself, thumbing at the swell of our babies.Mybabies. The only bright spots left in this dark, endless freefall.

Through the blur, I see Sasha’s silhouette tense on the boulder. He doesn’t turn. Doesn’t speak. Just sits there, carved from the same stone as the mountains, while I fracture into a thousand jagged pieces.

My shoulders shake. Tears drip hot onto the water’s surface. I don’t know what exactly I’m crying for. Is it for Gina’s empty apartment, where we used to split cheap wine and cheaper gossip? For Mom’s hollow eyes, touching baby clothes I outgrew a long time ago? Or is it for the version of me who thoughtrunning meant freedom instead of this slow drowning in dark waters?

I feel him approach. Closer. Closer.

I don’t look up. Don’t breathe. Just press my forehead to my knees and let the springs swallow what’s left of me.

Sasha’s touch lands like a lightning strike—electric and inevitable. Warm palm curving over my bare shoulder. The calluses I know so well, dragging against water-slick skin.

I freeze. Every cell sings,Danger.

“Look at me,ptichka.” His voice gravels through the mist.Little bird.The old endearment almost breaks me.

I don’t look up. Can’t. If I turn now, the last of my walls will crumble.

His finger strokes the nape of my neck. Spasms ripple through me—not pain this time, but something else, something highly off-limits. “Ariel.”

The single word cracks the dam. I spin in the water, sending waves against the rocks, and shove at his chest. “You don’t get to?—”

He catches my wrist. Pulls it to his lips. Presses a kiss to my racing pulse.

“I know.” Another kiss to my palm. My ragged breath hitches. “I know.”

His other hand skims my waist beneath the water. Heat blazes where his fingers graze the swell of my stomach. Not dominance. Not demand. A question.

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