Page 66 of Falling For My Best Friend's Brother

“Well, fuck,” Claire murmured, getting up and moving to the fridge to grab a bottle of beer. I heard her unscrew the cork. A moment later, she asked, “Did you know she was coming?”

My eyes closed for a second, then reopened. I couldn’t even describe how I was feeling right now. “No.”

“What’s going on between you two, anyway? Are you dating or…?”

All of a sudden, I wanted to be alone. My head felt as heavy as a boulder and my chest hurt so fucking bad.

I ran my hands down my face, heaving out a heavy breath. “Get out.”

Silence. “What?”

“Leave.” I didn’t bother to look at her.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Knox, I know you feel bad, but… you don’t need her. Deep down, you know that.”

Liquid, fiery rage flared through me at her words. I raised my head to look at her, letting her see exactly what I thought of her opinion. “That might be true, or it might not, but I don’t need you either. You’re not dumb, Claire. You can’t possibly expect that I’ll let you back into my life again after the last time.”

She had the audacity to look offended. “What are you talking about?”

I shot to my feet. The frustration I felt bubbled up to my neck and wrapped around me, choking the fuck out of me. “I’ve always thought you’re sophisticated and elegant, and it’s true. But you’re also vain and materialistic. Why do you think I brokeup with you? You think it was because I thought I didn’t deserve you like I said back then?”

She sputtered, her gaze darting left and right. “What… I didn’t…”

It had been easier to lie and let her down easily than tell her the real reason we couldn’t see each other anymore. I’d told her I needed to focus on getting my company back on its feet, and I didn’t want to drag her down with me in the process. Maybe that was the reason she was still hanging on to this foolish hope of us getting back together.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I told you we were different people, and that was true. We are. For all your good qualities, you're superficial and entirely self-centered, Claire. I broke up with you because I knew I wasn’t enough for you, and I never would be.”

Tears gathered in her eyes and her bottom lip quivered. “That’s not true, Knox. You’ve always been enough for me, and I’ve always loved you.”

“Why did you come here tonight?” I asked.

Claire blinked, and a few tears fell. “I wanted to see you.”

“Or maybe you heard the news?”

Her jaw set and it was all I needed to know that I’d been right.

I released a laugh, but it lacked humor. “Get out.” I repeated, “and stay out.”

“Knox, don’t be like this.” She stepped forward, trying to reason with me.

“Get the fuckout!”I thundered, my voice echoing throughout the room. Claire flinched, staggering backward. My chest heaved angrily as I watched her scramble around for her bag, stunned because I’d just yelled at her.

She headed for the door with slow, calculated steps. I kept my gaze on her, waiting for her to say something in her defense—Claire always had to defend herself, or the conversation wasn’t over. But she kept walking, only stopping when she reached the threshold to look back at me one last time. I didn’t let myself read anything into it; I was done with Claire. Forever.

She disappeared and I heard the front door close. Dropping onto the chair, I cradled my head between my hands, which were held up by my elbows propped up on my knees.

Hours later, I was still seated there, staring at nothing and thinking about everything.

I always hoped for grace.

Right from my childhood, when it’d been so scary to want things, I always hoped for a bit of grace. Even now, I still do.

They say perseverance is key, and that if you dare to dream big and hold on long enough, things will turn around. But they don’t tell you that perseverance can also break you. That sometimes hanging on by a thread is the most dangerous thing you’ll ever do.

And some nights, when it’s quiet and you’re left with just your thoughts, you wonder if it’s all worth it. If your wants and desires, the struggle and the constant battles with everything and nothing at all, is really worth it or you’re just spinning your wheels.

It was funny how completely empty I felt, considering that everything I'd strived for over the past few years had solidified in under thirty minutes. I'd thought that reviving my company, ensuring my employees were paid, and having financial stability was all I needed to feel fulfilled in life.

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