Ever since Knox left some days ago, life seemed dull. In hindsight, it had been incredibly stupid of me to give him so much importance in my life, but my brain and my heart were enemies in the war against Knox Coleman.

I’d gone to the doctor to do a blood test, just to be sure that I was really pregnant. I was. Four weeks gone. Yay, I guess.

My stance on my pregnancy was fifty-fifty. I wasn’t sure if I wanted it or not. I was young and unmarried, fresh out of college with my entire life ahead of me, and there was the fact that I hadn’t the slightest idea what to do with a baby.

The thought of telling Knox was almost laughable. Not that I didn’t want him to know—it was just that I couldn’t bear the idea of him thinking I was using this to trap him, to make him a part of my life when I knew he clearly didn’t want to be.

Sometimes, I’d catch myself wondering how he was doing or if I ever crossed his mind. I’d think of calling him or sending him a text, just to make sure he hadn’t forgotten me. Then I’d berate myself for being so pathetic and desperate and look for ways to take my mind off him.

I’ve been painting a lot recently. For the first time in my life, I finished a painting in one day. I’d been mighty proud of myself, but the stress had been so much that I’d slept for nine hours afterwards, then woke up and started another.

I knew what all of this was—a distraction that wasn’t even working. I still thought of Knox constantly, and I still wished he hadn’t left. And by left, I mean me. From what he’d told me, he was only a half hour away, so it wasn’t like he moved to Europe or something. No, he only left me.

Kinda sucked to be healing from a breakup when I hadn’t even been in a relationship in the first place.

I’d already decided to break the news to my parents, but I’d have to fly back to California for that. They would want to hear it in person.

All that was left was Lindsay. She was leaving for Boston in five days. I knew I couldn’t let her go without speaking to her. No matter what happened, she was still like a sister to me. I loved her, and I always would. Even if she decided never to speak to me again, she had to know that I never planned things with Knox. It just happened.

When I was thirteen and dealing with the loss of my so-called friends, my dad said to me,“Nina, making friends is easy—keeping them is what matters. And just because someone is in your life for a moment doesn’t mean they’re meant to stay forever. What matters most is knowing which friendships are worth the work to keep and which ones will fade when the effort’s gone.”

At the time, I hadn’t really understood what he meant; I only knew that I’d been hurt, and I would never make another friend ever again. Until I met Lindsay, and everything changed.

Now, I saw wisdom in Dad’s words. Lindsay was worth the work to keep; she always had been. And the basic truth was that I would never have with anyone what I have with her.

It was that thought that had been seeking her out the following afternoon. Because of the nature of her work, she wasn’t home half the time, so it was fortuitous that I found her lounging on the couch in the living room, her eyes glued to the TV screen where a soap opera was playing.

I sucked in a breath, my stomach tingling with nerves as my feet stepped forward tentatively.

“Lin?” The sound came out weak.

No response. If she was ignoring me, I would cry. I swear to God.

Clearing my throat, I tried again. “Lindsay?”

Lin’s head snapped to me, her eyes widening slightly. She sat upright, facing her entire body in my direction. I couldn’t read the exact look in her eyes, but I was sure that there was no anger. Matter of fact, she seemed more anxious than anything.

“Neens.”

I sighed deeply, my heart clenching painfully in my chest. “I’m sorry, Lin. I’m a terrible friend.”

The smile she gave me was sad. “No arguments there.”

“I should’ve said this a lot sooner, but I… was ashamed of what you would say and think of me.”

Her perfectly arched brow curved. “Why would I think anything of you?”

I pressed my lips together nervously. “Because I kissed your brother.”

Lindsay still looked confused. “Wait. You think that’s why I’m pissed at you?”

“…Isn’t it?”

She stared at me for a long moment before sighing. Leaning back on the couch, she tapped the space next to her. Practically running to where she was sitting, I dropped on the plush cushion and lifted my gaze to hers.

“Nina, I’m pretty sure a kiss is not the only thing you’ve done with my brother,” she said.

My cheeks warmed, which was odd because Lindsay and I always shared raw details of our sex lives with each other. It was something we both looked forward to after every night out. The embarrassment I was currently feeling was most likely due to the fact that the man involved this time was her brother.