Page 58 of Falling For My Best Friend's Brother

“I—” she started, but words seemed to fail her.

My sister’s gaze darted between the two of us, one finger pointed at no one in particular as she struggled to form words. Her mouth opened and closed, and the air between the three of us crackled with a thousand unspoken words.

I was the oldest. I should say something. But what the fuck would I say in a situation like this?

I’m sorry, Lindsay, that your best friend and I could barely contain ourselves enough to keep our secret sexual relationship away from you?Yeah, that didn’t sound like it would go down very well.

The look on Nina’s face was twisting my heart. I met her horrified gaze, feeling like a pile of shit because I couldn’t do anything to remedy the situation. I saw the flash of self-guilt in her eyes before she suddenly took off, and a second later, her bedroom door was shut and locked.

“Knox?” Lindsay called out, her voice dripping with uncertainty and caution. “What the fuck just happened?”

I couldn’t look at her. Couldn’t speak, couldn’t fucking breathe. I’d finally gone ahead and won the award for world’s worst brother. The crazy thing was that I wasn’t ashamed of the situation I was in with Nina; I was ashamed that Lindsay had to find out this way.

“You’re not going to say anything?” I could tell by the sharpness of her tone that she was getting angry. “Seriously?”

After a second of silence, Lindsay finally seemed to realize that I had nothing to say to her. I didn’t need to look at her face; the disappointment dripping from her body and permeating the thick air was enough for me to get the memo. I didn’t hear her walk away. It was the sound of another door closing that told me she was gone.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.I ran my hand through my hair, pulling at the strands painfully, needing to distract the dread that was swelling up inside me. Today had been good, goddammit. The plan had been to come home and celebrate my news with the two most important women in my life. But now everything had gone to shit.

And it was all my fault.

Because there was a very real chance I’d just wrecked a nine-year friendship, all because I couldn’t keep my dick in my pants.

Chapter twenty-one

Nina

My period was late.

I had no idea how I hadn’t noticed until now, but it was. The last time I saw it was the week Lindsay left for Boston. I remembered because I’d bled through my pad one night and a bright red stain had decorated the middle of my bed when I woke up the next morning.

But it’d been six weeks, and there was no blood. Which meant I was a little over two weeks late.

Once in a while, my period was delayed. My gyno once told me that a lot of factors that weren't pregnancy contributed to a late period. Birth control, a change in diet, hormonal imbalances, and even stress. During the last months of college, my period had been delayed by a few days more than once. It became a normal thing for me.

Back then, I never had to worry about getting pregnant because I had an IUD. Unfortunately, that only lasted for six months because it took more than it gave. It threw my hormones off, messed with my moods and my weight until I eventually had to take it out.

But the thing was, my period had never been over four days late.Thiswas a whole new ball game. I was freaking out, so hard that I’d gone to a pharmacy to buy two Clearblue test strips, just to be absolutely sure.

I stared at the white and blue plastic stick in my hands while I sat on the toilet seat. There was no need for this. I told myself that it was just my mind playing tricks on me. I knew how to calculate my cycle, and Knox always pulled out right before he came when I told him I was ovulating. Not once had he poured his seed inside me when it was risky.

But two weeks late?Leaning back a bit, I stared at my stomach. How did pregnant people know they were pregnant, anyway? If there was a baby growing in my stomach, wouldn’t I be able to tell? My mom said I’d kicked nonstop while in her belly. Shouldn’t the baby have kicked by now?

With everything going on, I didn’t need this shit. Heaving, I got to my feet and pulled down my panties before lifting the seat and sitting on the toilet. I just needed to clear up any doubts in my mind, just to make certain that my period was only acting up because of a change in my diet or stress. I’d started another painting, after all.

Reaching between my legs, I peed on the stick, then brought it out and placed it on the counter. Three minutes. Enough time for my heart to beat its way out of my chest. I counted every second as I paced the now suffocating bathroom, hoping and praying that two weeks was a normal time for a woman’s period to go missing. Once the strip confirmed I wasn’t pregnant, I was going to go look for it.

I clicked the power button on my phone. One minute gone. Why the hell was time moving so slowly? My eyes almost darted to the strip on the counter, but I stopped myself in time, not wanting to conclude before the appropriate time.

To distract myself, I thought about the situation here in the apartment. It’d been two days since I’d stupidly kissed Knox in front of Lindsay, and no one had spoken a word to anyone. I was ignoring Lindsay. Lindsay was ignoring Knoxandme, and Knox just seemed so fucking miserable when I saw him in the kitchen this morning before work, we didn’t say anything at all.

It was sad that we couldn’t fully celebrate his accomplishments with Uncle Dean because of me. I sighed. I still couldn’t believe that I’d been so stupid and reckless. How could I, in my excitement, have forgotten that Lindsay was there? Why did I not think before acting?

I should’ve gone to Lindsay. But I had absolutely nothing to say that would explain the scene she’d witnessed. And I hated it so much that things had become so strained between us. We told each other everything. It was terrible that this was happening. I knew what she must be thinking—that I’d probably seduced herbrother or something along those lines and how someone like me didn’t deserve to be in his life.

Knox, on the other hand, had given me space. In a way, I appreciated it. I didn’t think I could continue sneaking around with him while Lindsay was here, and I also didn’t think I would have been able to say no to him had he shown up at my door.

Maybe it was time to end all this drama. It wasn’t like anything was serious between us, anyway. It was just sex, even though he’d told me he was in love with me and expected that I would somehow forget how it felt to hear him say that. Maybe it was for the best that this had happened.

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