Page 129 of Dagger

“I dunno what I’m supposed to do now,” he muttered flatly. “She was my everything.”

My throat burned. “I’m so fuckin’ sorry, Fender.”

He nodded. “Can you arrange to transport her to her folks in Iowa?” he asked. “I want her in a place where she’s loved and where she’ll be looked after.”

“I’ll arrange it ASAP,” I vowed.

Finally, he turned away from Shotgun, his blank eyes lifting to meet mine. “I love being a Demon, Prez, and I love my kids being part of it, too, but I dunno if I can come back. I seeher everywhere I look.” His chest began to heave, and his face crumpled.

I rushed at him, curled my fingers around the back of his neck, dipping my chin to look him dead in the eye. “You’ll always have a place here. Take your time, and think about what you wanna do. If you miss the brotherhood but can’t face coming back, I’ll ask Hendrix to take you.”

“You’re welcome in Virginia, bro,” Hendrix declared. “I’m thinkin’ of opening a small auto shop. It’ll be basic, but you’re a talented engineer. You could run it.”

“I can’t think about it now,” Fender replied flatly.

“It’s okay, bro,” Drix reassured him. “Like Prez said. Take your time.”

“I thought it would make me feel better, killin’ him,” Fender murmured. “Thought avenging her would make it bearable, but it still hurts so bad I can’t breathe.”

“You loved her,” I muttered. “You still do. Just because she’s gone, it doesn’t mean your feelings disappear. You’ll probably never totally get over it, but you will learn to live with it, and you’ll do it for your kids. We’ll be there every step of the way. If you need me, call, and I’ll move heaven and earth to give you what you need.”

He nodded, dazed. “I know.” He paused, then asked, “Will you do something for me?”

I jerked a nod. “Anything.”

His stare met mine again, but that time, there was steel behind it. “Kill ‘em all. Make them pay for what they’ve done. Annihilate that club so they can’t take somebody else’s wife and mother away.”

I met his stare head-on. “Won’t rest until it’s done.”

“Thanks,” he murmured, turning to leave.

“Take care, brother,” I said gently.

Fender gave me a nod and walked toward the door, disappearing through it without a backward glance.

I heaved a breath, scraping a hand down my face. “Fuck!”

“He’ll get through it,” Drix assured me. “He’s stronger than you think.”

I stared at the door Fender had just walked through and cleared my throat. “I think you’re right— Fender will get over it—I’m just not sure I ever will. Losing an ol’ lady on my watch is shameful.”

A warm hand clasped my shoulder. “Pop,” Cash muttered. “You didn’t kill Maze or Ashley. The Sinners did, and Shotgun had a hand in it too. It’s fuckin’ awful, and it’ll stay with us for a long time, but don’t twist it into somethin’ it isn’t. We need to get our shit together and defend against those assholes before somebody else dies. Call a meet; we’re taking those bastards down, ‘cause the best thing we can do for Fender is to keep our word and wipe those fuckers out, once and for all.”

“Most of ‘em are in County,” I informed him. “Bear got away, and Henderson’s slippery sonofabitch lawyer put up bail money, so he’s out.”

Hendrix rubbed his hands together gleefully. “Can’t wait for our clean-up tomorrow. Has Colt pulled back?”

“Yeah,” I replied. My eyes met my eldest boy’s, so much like mine. “When it’s done and dusted, I’m out. The club’s yours. You’re ready, and I’m so fuckin’ tired, Xan.”

“Let’s get the job done, Pop,” he suggested. “Then we’ll talk about the future.”

I nodded my agreement, but deep down, I knew.

My heart wasn’t in it anymore. I loved the club, but it needed fresh blood. My boys would take care of their legacy, and I’d still be around if they needed me. I just wouldn’t be wearing the patch.

The instant we killed the last Sinner, I was done.

“So,” I muttered, picking up the plans from the table and folding them up. “We take it to them, and we do it tomorrow. They’re gonna think we need time to regroup, but we don’t. Losin’ Maze and Ashley the way we did was a blow, but we’re still standing. We hit them with the element of surprise, and we keep goin’ until every one of those fuckers is either dead or in custody.”

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