Automatically, I reached out to pick up the tiny piece of jewelry to study it, but my hand stopped, suspended mid-air as recognition smashed into my gut.
It was the ring I gave my Leesy when I made her my ol’ lady.
A heavy weight pressed down on my chest, and my throat thickened with emotion as I stared at the shiny metal circle.
How could I have forgotten her eighteenth birthday? It was the night I made her mine in mind, body, and soul. A sharp pain reverberated through me like I’d been struck by lightning, but my eyes remained fixated on that silver ring.
Memories flashed through my mind and burned inside my soul.
She opened the lid. “What’s this?”
“It’s a promise ring, Duchess. See that knot?”
Elise ran her finger over the curved loop of the ring.
“They call it an infinity knot. Or a Celtic love knot. It’s the symbol of never-ending love and unity. It represents us.” Gently, I slid it onto her finger. “When I come home, I’ll ask your dad for permission and replace the knot with a diamond. It’s my promise to you.” I tilted her chin up with a finger and stared into her beautiful eyes. “In the meantime, I wanna ask you a different question, one just as meaningful for me. Will you be my ol’ lady?”
“Really?”
I rubbed the ring on her finger with my thumb. “Yeah. Really.”
Tears filled her eyes. “There’s nothing I’d love more than to be your ol’ lady, John Stone.” She beamed up at me. “I love you so much.”
“Prez?” a voice called, pulling me from my thoughts.
I turned to Abe, almost dazed.
“You okay?” he asked, his eyes filling with worry. “You’ve gone white.”
Stunned, my stare slid back to the ring on the table, and my throat began to clog up. “Fuck!” I snapped, tipping my head back and pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes to stop my tears from leaking.
When I came back to Hambleton from Kuwait, I’d had to compartmentalize.
PTSD wasn’t known about back then. It was drummed into us that real men could cope mentally with anything. Only weak men let that shit get to them.
When I popped smoke, all I wanted was to come home to my girl. Maybe, deep down, I knew she’d help me heal. Leesy was my life, my heart, my soul, and losing her broke me in a way I never truly healed from. I went to Colorado and New Mexico to recover from being captured, and from everything going on at home, but instead, I found Adele. I had no choice but to shut down the love I had for Elise. It was the only way I could make it through.
But that damned ring unlocked the vault, and everything had come rushing back.
“Jesus, John,” I heard Abe breathe.
“Pop?” Cash said questioningly. “What the fuck?”
A wave of agony crashed through my insides, and I let out a deep, pain-filled groan. My eyes burned, and my throat squeezed so tightly I couldn’t breathe.
I heard the loud scraping of chairs scuffing across the wooden floor, and suddenly, my boys surrounded me. Comforting hands clasped my shoulders, warmth hit my back, and I took a deep breath, trying to center myself.
“Pop,” Cash murmured. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good,” I croaked, cracking my eyes open.
Atlas loomed toward me. “Never seen you take a wobble like that before, Prez. Thought you were gonna keel over.”
Abe spoke up from behind me, “It’s been a weird few weeks, John. What with finding out about Sophie and learnin’ that shit about Elise and what she’s suffered. It’s no damned wonder it finally got to ya.”
A hand squeezed my shoulder, and Bowie’s voice asked, “What set it off?”
I glanced over my shoulder to see my three sons at my back, and my shoulders relaxed. “Seein’ the ring and photographs. Everything we lost hit me square in the chest.”