Page 170 of Dagger

Elise leaned in closer, her front aligning perfectly with the curve of my spine, and I marveled at how well we still fit. Thelyrics to the song made my chest warm as they brought back warm summer days spent down the creek, and the first flush of love.

God, for whatever reason, had given me another chance.

And I made a vow that the second time around, I wouldn’t waste it.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Elise

Two Weeks Later

Squeezing my eyes tightly closed, I raised a hand and rubbed at the stabbing pain in my temples.

“Are you okay?” Sophie asked. “That headache still bothering you?”

Plastering a fake smile on my face, I waved my hand. “It’s fine. I just can’t seem to shake it. Tylenol usually helps, but it’s not touching it today.”

Sophie passed Belle off to Cara, who sat beside my daughter on one of the couches in the bar and leaned toward me. “Where does it hurt?”

“My forehead and the base of my skull mainly,” I advised her. “But it sometimes hits my right temple.”

“Hmm,” she said as if to herself. “It sounds like tension or stress. Are you sleeping okay?”

“Yes, fine,” I replied, trying to keep the defensiveness out of my tone.

The fact was, I was sleeping terribly. I was plagued with nightmares, and I kept waking up in a cold sweat, thinking I was back in my room at Robert’s mansion. The day before, when I awoke with a start, I saw the pink of my old comforter and theold-fashioned flowers on the expensive drapes, and I had to stop myself from screaming in terror.

I’d read up on trauma and knew it often healed through our subconscious. Now I was safe, my brain had started to work through the shit I’d endured with Robert. It was debilitating at times, but I was confident things would eventually settle down.

Robert was gone; he couldn’t hurt me anymore, so I needed to get over it and start living my life without him always in the back of my mind, taunting me. My ex-husband had taken too much of my life from me already. I wouldn’t let him take my future, too, especially when Stone and I were getting along so well.

John had been helping Cash with the club's handover, but he still had more free time, which we mostly spent together.

Our initial ride up to Grand Junction was awesome, especially sharing it with Abe and Iris. Having the other couple with us took the pressure off, and the day passed with friends, laughing and joking around. We walked through the town, had lunch, grabbed coffee, and generally screwed around like we were kids again. John needed it that day; he’d made a life-changing decision, and he needed to experience what the future held. So, I wanted us to have one day where the club and all its drama stayed in the rearview.

Apart from riding, we spent time at the house John had built, doing what we needed to get it ready for us. John wanted to put the finishing touches on the building while I took inventory of what we needed to equip the kitchen and the other rooms. Drapes, rugs, lamps, and all the other stuff that made a house a home became my new religion. One night, we lit the grill, and the officers came over with their ol’ ladies. We had fun eating with plastic cutlery and off paper plates, laughing, and watching the kids run around down the creek.

As well as getting emotionally closer, we’d started to get physically closer, too.

It started with heated looks and secret smiles, but it quickly evolved. I noticed whenever we were together, John had to touch me in some way.

Physical closeness hadn’t been a part of my life, so every time John’s hand slid to my hip and he stroked it with his thumb, my heart fluttered, and my butterflies came alive. John kissed me good morning and also kissed me goodnight, but he also kissed me when I handed him a coffee or made him a sandwich. John and I had started making out on the couch at night while we watched TV, like teenagers, and slowly, it brought me back to life.

However, we decided not to move in together just yet.

Years ago, I went from my parents to John, to Robert, and back to John. I was a fifty-two-year-old woman who had never lived alone, and I wanted to experience it, so I started looking at rentals. Everything fell into place when Anna announced she was moving in with her new guy and offered to rent me the apartment above her salon.

The place was cozy, with its two bedrooms and the lounge and kitchen all in one room. It was light, bright, welcoming, and simply gorgeous, just like Anna.

It was also perfect for me.

I’d moved in a few days before, but tonight was staying here at the clubhouse for the big club run and the party afterward—in John’s bed with him.

John didn’t seem motivated by sex, but then when I thought back to when we were young, he was the same way. We did it, but he held off until I was legal, and, for him, it was more about making it special than getting off. Even as a young man, John picked a career where sex wasn’t available until his leave, and although we did it often, we could’ve done it more. Back then,he was more interested in us doing things together and making memories for him to take back to San Diego.

He insisted that spending the night together wasn’t about sex; he just wanted us to be close.

However, I really wanted him to fuck me. So, bedtime would be interesting.

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