Page 114 of Stone

It was only later, when I recalled that very conversation, that a big realization hit me.

Never once did Robert include my daughter in all his talk of family.

“He’s beautiful,” I cooed, heart squeezing for the baby boy in my arms.

Robert had gotten the call late at night to tell him his ex-girlfriend was in labor, then hours later returned with his son in his arms. Robert Junior, or RJ as I called him, was one day old and perfectly healthy.

“He looks so much like you,” I whispered, smoothing my hand over the baby’s downy blond hair. “He’s got your eyes, too.”

RJ let out a little squawk, and it hit me somewhere deep and warm, making me giggle.

The maternal instinct wasn’t there, and this little boy was lovely, but didn’t feel quite right in my arms. But I knew it wouldcome, probably when Constance arrived. In the meantime, there was nothing to stop me from trying to build a familial connection with him.

My eyes raised to take in Robert’s proud expression. “How’s his mother? Did she have a hard time giving him up? Was it awful?”

“No,” he said flatly, eyes cold and hard. “She’s gone.” His gaze suddenly warmed. “I want to make something clear, Elise. As far as I, or anyone else, is concerned, you’re Robert’s mother. You are the woman who birthed him, and you’re the woman who will raise him. You, Elise, will be the one to give him the nurturing he needs to be happy while I give him the lessons he needs to be strong.”

Something about his tone made the fine hair on my arms stand up. I searched Robert’s face for a clue as to what was going on in his head, but his expression had blanked, his features smoothed out.

“Are you okay?” I asked quietly. “You seem, well, not yourself.”

“I’m fine,” he murmured. “It’s not every day a man becomes a father. It’s given me a newfound sense of determination to do right by my son. Every man dreams of having a boy in his image, a boy who’ll grow up to become just like him. A boy I can guide in my stead to become powerful and influential.”

My eyes held his gaze. “And what about love?”

Robert smiled, and a cold trickle ran down my spine. “That, my dear, is your job.” He turned for the door, saying breezily, “I’m going out, and I won’t be back until tomorrow. Can I leave Robert Junior in your capable hands?”

“But it’s his first day home with us,” I protested. “Don’t you want to spend time bonding with him? I read somewhere how skin-to-skin contact between father and baby can be helpful—”

“I have a meeting,” he said, effectively cutting off the conversation. “Somebody has to earn money if we want to give him a decent lifestyle. A while back, I commissioned a new house to be built in the area by the Country Club. The architect designed us the biggest and best house in the area, set apart from the rest. It’s almost finished, so when things have settled down, we’re moving back to Hambleton.”

My brow creased questioningly. “Robert,” I whispered. “Can we talk about this? Please?”

He checked his watch with a flourish. “Not now, Elise.”

“Robert—” but I was speaking to thin air because he’d already disappeared.

My eyes closed, and I tamped down all the emotions surging through me.

So much in Hambleton reminded me of John. I knew one day I’d have to face it, but I was still trying to get myself together. I wasn’t ready. I’d let John go because I didn’t have a choice, but I worried that being there would bring back the dark cloud always hovering, ready to strike.

The doctor had given me medication, which he said would help me, but I didn’t want to take it until after Constance was born. Plus, I’d heard of these pills. They’d turn me into a zombie.

My gaze lowered to the baby boy in my arms, and I stroked a finger over his soft cheek. Maybe this was it for me. Perhaps I was always meant to be a mother to RJ and Constance but never a real wife.

Love came in many forms, and just because I couldn’t share my love with John, it didn’t mean I couldn’t have it all. The area where Robert told me he was building his house was far enough away from the club, and I only needed to go into town occasionally.

I could stay indoors with the children, and hopefully, in a couple of years, when they needed me to take them out more, I’d be able to cope better.

With a soft coo, I stood, taking care to keep Robert Junior secure, and made my way into the kitchen to prepare his next feed, before going to the nursery and settling into the rocking chair.

A lavish house in an affluent area was a far cry from where I thought I’d end up. I couldn’t help smiling when I thought back to the big kitchen I’d asked for. A big house was all very well, but it wasn’t a lifestyle I particularly craved, but I guess it didn’t really matter.

At least with the children around me, we could make it a happy home.

Four weeks later, during the night, a sharp pain in my stomach awoke me.

Throwing the comforter to one side, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and slowly got to my feet. I’d had backache all day and suspected something might happen, so I’d asked Robert to stay home just in case. According to Scalp’s sonogram, I still had a few weeks to go to full term. Still, I didn’t hold much faith in his abilities, so I wasn’t surprised it was happening differently than he told me.