Page 87 of The Alpha's Cursed Queen

I try to escape his hold, not wanting to hear what he has to say. I don’t want to listen to those sweet words that are nothing but lies. I don’t want to be broken again when I only just managed to put myself back together.

“What are you doing?” I struggle in his grip. “I don’t—Let me go, Darian!”

“I’ve been trying to!” he snarls. “Ever since I saw you in that boardroom, I’ve been telling myself to stay away from you, to let you live your life. But I can’t do that anymore. I’ve suffered seven miserable years, stuck by that woman’s side, forced to tolerate her. Don’t ask me to go back to her. I can’t live without you,Alice. You don’t know what happened that night, seven years ago, when we shared your bed. After I left you there, the series of events that followed forced my hand. I had to protect you.”

He still has my shoulders pinned to the wall as he continues. “If I had made one wrong move in that ballroom, Alice, they would have taken you away! They would’ve taken you to a place where I couldn’t get to you. I was trying to protect you. I didn’t know that the spell the white witches would cast would be so horrific. And when I saw how bad it was, I couldn’t step in. You have to believe me. I wasn’t torturing you or punishing you or whatever you decided I was doing. I was a puppet. And whatever power I had at that moment, I was trying to exercise it to keep you safe. To keep you alive!”

The desperate tinge to his voice has unbidden tears coming to my eyes. My claws dig into my thighs, and I smell blood. My blood.

I don’t want to remember that time. I don’t want to forgive him or even try to understand his words. I just want to be left alone.

I must have spoken those words out loud because when Darian looks at me, his expression is filled with torment.

“I know it was easy to hate me then, and even now, but I can prove it. I can prove everything. And I would’ve done so if you hadn’t left. I was never going to let the witches get to you to brand you, Alice. If you hadn’t disappeared that night, I had made arrangements to send you someplace where nobody could touch you. If you don’t trust me, you can ask Jimmy. And if you don’t trust him, there is a plethora of evidence: text messages and recorded conversations that I can show you. Give me achance, Alice. I thought I could live without you, but I can’t. That one sacrifice cost me far too much. I can’t make it again.”

I don’t want to trust these words. The tears finally spill out of my eyes. “I won’t trust you. No matter what you show me, I will never trust you, Darian. I won’t go back to your world where you can hurt me again. Get away from me. Get away from me now!”

He must have seen the finality my eyes because despair fills his. “No, you won’t.” He releases me, and I see a broken look cross his face. “You will never trust me again.”

Shaking, I move away from him. “That’s right. You weren’t the one who had to live with that humiliation. You weren’t the one who was sent to death’s door in the worst possible manner. You were the first man I trusted. The first one I…” I stop, changing gears. “I should’ve gone with my instinct not to believe anything you said to me back then, but I wanted to think that there was somebody out there who could love me. That was a foolish dream, a naive girl’s fantasy. And for that trust in you, I paid a price so high that I’ve never recovered from it. Do you think I would give you another chance, another opportunity to do the same thing to me again?”

There’s a lost look in his eyes now, and I find myself pushing him backward this time. “For all my faults, I did love you, Darian. And the scars you left on me never healed. It’s only now that I’ve found a way to survive. And I am surviving. I don’t need you to come and take that from me again. Go back to your wife, to your mate, to the woman you let hurt me and humiliate me. Go back to her, have your children, rule your kingdom. I don’t want any part of it. I don’t want any part of you.”

Thunder sounds in the sky, and a soft rain begins to fall. “A witch, Darian. You told them I was a dark witch!” I hiss, tears falling down my face as rage and grief overwhelm me. “If there had been some conspiracy going on, and you’d had no choice, I would have gone along with it if you had only come to me beforehand and told me. Or sent me a warning. But you never did that. You never did any of that, and that’s why I know you’re lying. I won’t ever trust you again. You don’t deserve my trust, and you don’t deserve me. I had no money when I came here, but I made something of myself. I worked myself to the bone. I did everything I could to get to the top, and now you show up and want to take that away from me? Fat fucking chance. That’s not going to happen.”

My whole body is shaking violently now, and when Darian tries to say something, I hold up my hand. “They left scars on my body, Darian.” I take off my jacket and throw it in his face. “Look. The scars have never healed. The fruits of your labor.”

I turn around and show him the vicious red marks on my back that make it look like I was whipped. “Every time I see them, I’m reminded of how I groveled in front of you. I would’ve licked your feet in that moment if you had told me to. You broke my spirit, my pride, and that is something I can never forgive you for. You debased me in front of everyone. If you loved me, if you cared for me, you would’ve stopped that mockery, but you didn’t.” A bitter laugh leaves my mouth. “You didn’t do that. Instead, you went to stand by the side of the girl who had tormented me my whole life.”

When I look at him now, all the fight leaves my body. “I don’t understand, Darian. If you despised me so much, you could have just killed me. I wouldn’t have fought you. I would have welcomed that in the face of what you did to me. But no, youwanted me to suffer, and you made sure I did. I can never forgive you for that. No reasons you can give me will ever justify that.”

Turning around, I walk away from him, leaving him standing in the rain.

I’m done.

Chapter 17

Alice

When I first came to Phoenix, I had a little more than two hundred bucks in my pocket. Mary had given me everything she had. My bank accounts had been frozen by Alpha Black, so I had no access to the thousands of dollars I had saved up. No pack was allowed to give me refuge, and I was little more than a fugitive at that point.

Mary managed to get into my apartment and grab what little cash I had stashed there before the pack confiscated everything. Her father was very angry with her for helping me escape, and he cut off access to her trust fund. So, my friend had no way of helping me financially.

Those were the toughest days of my life. I was listless, trying to wrap my head around my new reality. Mira’s existence was the only thing that would make me get out of bed in the morning and go look for a job. My body had not healed the way it should have, but I had to make money. I had to eat.

I sit on my couch now, watching my daughter sleep. Her head is in my lap, a movie playing on the television.

Evidence.

My fingers run through my daughter’s hair as I stare blankly at the television screen. What evidence could Darian possibly have that would fix anything?

Even if I were to believe that his hand was forced, can he give me back my shattered pride? Can he give me back the sleepless nights I spent worrying about where my next meal would come from? The money that Mary would often give me was quickly spent on Mira and rent. There were days I didn’t eat. Throughout law school, I looked emaciated. I was running around, sleeping for a couple of hours at most, surviving on one measly meal a day.

I did not want my daughter to grow up deprived of anything.

Even Mary doesn’t know the full extent of the hardships I underwent before I graduated. Although it was all worth it in the end, I have not been able to forget why I had to endure that hardship in the first place.

Darian.

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